A parable of the Label 5

MANILA, Philippines - The first time the visiting math professor Lee Cinco tastes Label 5 scotch whisky is at a party thrown by his university colleagues, to celebrate the end of the second trimester in the academic calendar, sin tax or no sin tax. Prof. Cinco toasts with his co-teachers and other academics and savors the taste of the whisky which, as advertised, has hints of fruits and flowers, a smoky finish and scent of peat.

“Label 5 classic black a rare aged scotch whisky carefully blended from a selection of the finest malt and grain whiskies. Its long maturing process in old casks in Scotland, under the constant care of the cellar master, enables it to acquire its incomparable smoothness and lingering flavor.”

— From the box literature

As he holds his glass slowly reflecting the holiday lights, he is thinking, if you had five leaves left, whether sick or vacation, for what days will you file it?

Why, surely on the Label 5 days of Christmas.

Dec. 22: Start of the winter solstice, and a shot or two of whisky would go a long way to warm the body as night outlasts day, and the drink is held like a comfort zone when the day is done.

Dec. 23: Time has told the math teacher that it’s no use to succumb to the stress of 11th hour shopping and submission of grades, so a jigger of scotch would enable one to regain balance after the endless lines and jostling, checking test papers and streaking to the finish.

Dec. 24: It’s been a tradition to spend time with family on Christmas eve, and as the clan gathers around the rich repast at the dining table, it would be wise to have a bottle of whisky handy to help burn the cholesterol. Everything in moderation, of course.

Dec. 25: Whosoever wants to work on Christmas day unless absolutely necessary?

The rounds of reunions continue, as well the seasonal visit to the ninongs and ninangs. You can’t choose your relatives, but you can choose your whisky to get rid of any unsavory aftertaste from the ritual leftovers.

“The end of rhapsody. The start of Label 5. The whisky you can’t put a label to. Luxury has never been this affordable.”

— Draft spiel

for ad campaign

Dec. 26: Boxing Day in Scotland, from whence the whisky came. And here on the other side of the world there are still unopened presents under the tree of life, half forgotten amid the hubbub, including a bottle of Label 5 in a corner.

The mathematician drinks, and so too his colleagues — indeed some professorial chair holders like himself - now enveloped in conviviality, being most like themselves. There is no complex equation or hidden variables, but a glass in hand courtesy of the hermit blender, and the voice of Francoise Hardy singing Le Temps de l’Amour fading fast into the distance of dawn.