fresh no ads
The bland leading the bland |

Fashion and Beauty

The bland leading the bland

FROM COFFEE TO COCKTAILS - Bea Ledesma, Celine Lopez - The Philippine Star

There’s no business like show business — but when it comes to actual winners, we may forget who actually won in these awards shows. The water-cooler gossip is all about who wore what.

Sadly, though the show itself failed to excite with Neil Patrick Harris at the helm (unfunny, off-color jokes about Thai sex workers, song numbers not by NPH — what were they thinking?!), even the red carpet seemed to be a bland landscape of tulle. This is the Emmys! Where TV stars come to celebrate and movie stars come to slum. Where are the crazy gowns and see-through dresses? (We see what you did there, Julianne Hough.)

We like our red carpets rare, please — juicy and a little bit bloody. This crop of celebs were so tame and well-done, it’s all a little bland.



Heidi Klum

CELINE: I don’t know whether this is bad or good. So when in doubt, it’s bad.

BEA: I like her take on RoboCop’s mom. Very now. (FYI: The RoboCop reboot is slated for release early next year. I know Millennials reading this will be like, “Robo-whut?!” which makes me hate life.)



Paula Abdul

C: I am so sure she was wasted to wear this monstrosity.

B: Plot twist! Paula is RoboCop.


Lena Dunham

C: Why? Is there someone else under her skirt?

B: Prada? Pra-don’t.


Connie Britton

C: It may seem to have that worst-dressed thing going on. Call me sentimental but it reminds me of the elaborate gowns that I drooled over in India. The velvet is a bit much, though, for the current season.

B: Connie Britton can do no wrong! Friday Night Lights! Friday Night Lights! OK, I’m calm. I took my pills.


Jessica Lange

C: This is an American Horror story.

B: I like it. But then I liked Ursula from The Little Mermaid.


Julianne Hough

C: Somehow I think her ex Ryan Seacrest paid her stylist to make her look like a beta mermaid.

B: Did Jessica Lange give her a heads-up on matching outfits? Because this is way too Little Mermaid for my taste. Kudos for wearing a bathing suit to the Emmys, though.


Tina Fey

C: Or rather, Tina Yay! A red carpet 10.

B: She looks like someone’s sexy mother-in-law at a bar mitzvah. (Which is a good thing!)


Claire Danes

C: This washes her out like Tide with extra bleach.

B: And … gives her granny-cleavage. A dress that gives you waist-low boobs does you no favors, Danes.


Allison Williams

C: As boring as her character in Girls.

B: Blands don’t have more fun.


Christina Hendricks

C: This should be a lackluster dress but on this goddess it celebrates her curves without being tarty.

B: She makes Old Hollywood new again.



Julianna Margulies

C: Very non-Hollywood, which is a good thing.

B: Now, this is wallpaper I would wear.



Kate Mara

C: My absolute favorite! Girlfriend did the pale well.

B: White on! Girl, you did good.


Kerry Washington

C: It’s not a full-on scandal, but there is nothing juicy about this. Again, every year there is a doily dress to rock the red carpet boat.

B: Reminds me of my mother’s living-room wallpaper. 



Zooey Deschanel

C: Only this would look good on her.

B: Classic, retro and sweet — just like her.


Jessica Pare

C: She is the mermaid that fell short. At least she’s got flippers on.

B: This is the most unflattering thing I’ve seen today. (And this is coming from someone wearing a ratty, five-year-old sleep shirt on an unmade bed.)



vuukle comment






Are you sure you want to log out?
Login is one of the most vibrant, opinionated, discerning communities of readers on cyberspace. With your meaningful insights, help shape the stories that can shape the country. Sign up now!

Get Updated:

Signup for the News Round now

or sign in with