Do opposites really attract?
DEAR NANAY,
My husband and I are so different that sometimes I wonder why we even got married. It seems like we can never agree on anything. I like the typical chick flick and he likes action movies. I like to plan things out carefully and he likes to live impromptu and make decisions at the last minute. I like to eat healthy and he only eats steak, bulalo and lechon. I like laying out on the beach with a good book and he likes to do things; he says he “needs action!”
We love each other and I do not think we are going to separate but I am afraid that with so much differences we might have a hard time 10 or 20 years from now.`
KAT
DEAR KAT,
I do not see a problem if you and your husband have very different personalities or interests. Maraming mag-asawa o magkaibigan na ganyan (many married couples and friends are like that). As they say, opposites attract. As long as you love each other and you find a comfortable and natural way of making decisions and getting along with each other, it does not matter that you like different things.
If it still bothers you, maybe you should make another list of all the things you like and all your personality traits. Then do the same for your husband. Once you have everything written down, do not look for the differences. This time, look for the similarities. You might be surprised to find that either you have more similarities than differences or more importantly, you are different only in the less important things (like what movies do we like) and more similar in the more important things in life (like how to raise our children).
So if I were you, I would not even worry about it. As long as you get along and are happy together, I doubt you will have a problem. Besides, some differences add excitement to life. If everything were exactly the same, you might be writing to me complaining that your marriage is too boring.
Sincerely,
NANAY
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Husband wants kids to play with firecrackers
DEAR NANAY,
My husband always wants us to have paputok (firecrackers)every year on New Year’s Eve. And he says since our kids are old enough they can now “play with the paputok” also. But my babies are only six and seven years old. I don’t think they are old enough yet because what if they get into an accident? But my husband insists because he says it is their “family tradition.” But is this tradition worth a trip to the hospital? I don’t think so. Don’t you agree? — JANEY
DEAR JANEY,
Unfortunately, I do not think it will matter whether or not I agree with you or your husband. I doubt there is anything I can say that will change either of your minds.
So let me just say this instead. Playing with fireworks, like many things in life, is a little bit of a gamble. There is a risk. But you have to realize that we all take risks in our lives every single day. We drive or commute to work even if we can get into an accident. We eat unhealthy food even if it might cause a heart attack. We play dangerous sports even if we might get injured. Maaaring may masamang mangyari pero ginagawa pa rin natin. Bakit? (Something bad might happen, but we still do it. Why?) Because that is what makes us happy.
And that is where you have to evaluate whether or not that happiness is worth the risk. If you ask me, I would rather not play with paputok and would just watch a fireworks show somewhere. But that is just me. The rules are different for different people.
So only you and your husband will be able to decide what works for your family. Maybe you should both sit down and list the pros and cons. When you have them all down on paper, go over them, evaluate them and then decide together what is the best course of action that you should both take.
Sincerely,
NANAY
