Notes on a possible scandal

Living up to the Skype: Be careful with how much of yourself (literally) you put out there.

MANILA, Philippines - If there are photos or a video of me doing an awkward sort of striptease, then it’s probably me and the worst has happened. Well, I already contracted HIV, so it’s probably not the worst thing to happen; just another feather in my stupid cap that I seem to have never taken off.

It’s funny how you always think that this happens to somebody else and then it happens to you. Except this is no accident and it’s not some random act of nature. This was me being too trusting and too needy. Let’s cut to the chase: I was being stupid.

It’s the basic story of meeting someone online and then, while chatting and getting to know this person, you start finding yourself asking if this is actually going to go somewhere. There’s attraction on both sides. So the other person makes a request that is way beyond conventional and traditional. Why not, right? I mean, you only live once. So I did the striptease. Then, the guy shut off his Skype and then, after 20 minutes, deactivated his account on Facebook.

Without a doubt, it started innocently enough. I was hoping for a little romance, maybe this was going to be my romantic movie moment of meeting someone special on the Internet. He made me feel attractive and I wanted to feel attractive. When I realized I was used, I didn’t feel attractive anymore. I felt used, and cheap, and stupid.

That’s the whole scary thing about the Internet. Yes, the world is so much more connected now than ever, but it also means that we are connected to all the disparate and needy people, like I was at that moment, and they are connected to all the malicious and sinister people who are looking for someone to abuse.

I don’t want to become that person who is afraid to step out of his own house because there are criminals out there and I could be a victim. The Internet is still filled with good people, interesting people. There’s so much to learn. The information is out there. The problem is not the connectivity. It’s our attitude towards it.

It’s back to basics: look at both sides of the road before you cross. Don’t take candy from strangers. Always have an exit strategy. These can all be applied to the Internet. Always proceed with caution and make them earn your trust before you give in to any crazy requests or give vital information to someone you meet online.

So if there is a video or a set of photographs out there in the Internet, well then, yeah, that’s me. Have a laugh. I’m the type who has to learn the hard way. I hope you are not.

The worst part of it is that if it ever does come out, I think I will look dreadful in it. I’m sickly thin with no muscle tone whatsoever, I’ve got a flabby belly, and my hair was a mess. And I was so awkward. I guess I wouldn’t be so bothered if I had a great body and I was actually moving sexily. Then it wouldn’t have been a total loss.