Supreme Hot List: Kim Chiu, Avengers, and the world's first robot GF
Hold on, Kim Chiu
MANILA, Philippines - It might be another nasty rumor; it might be the sad truth. Either way, news circulated last week that actress Kim Chiu allegedly attempted suicide. Star Magic issued a statement reassuring fans that Kim is well and safe, though not really answering whether or not there was an attempt. We just hope a young woman with her whole life ahead like Kim Chiu doesn’t become another casualty of the showbiz machine. Truth or rumor, the story serves notice to showbiz handlers to take care of their wards, and to the wards to take care of themselves.
‘Nakupo,’ they didn’t!
Ever stare at Kim Kardashian’s camel toe too hard and wonder why local celebs don’t have an equivalent gossip service here? Here’s a step in the right direction: http://community.livejournal.com/nakupotheydidnt/. Pegged as a local equivalent to Oh No They Didn’t, the site is our source for things of great national importance, from Kris Aquino’s love life to the latest starlet’s boob job.
Avengers the Movie Mediocrity Slayer
Now that we’re a couple of weeks away from the first week, we’ll just go ahead and say it: Inception is an overhyped, overanalyzed summer popcorn movie. It’s great entertainment for sure, but maybe not this generation’s Citizen Kane. It was just refreshing to have a big summer blockbuster with actual depth and intelligence.
At the recent Comic Con, Joss Whedon unveiled his bid for next summer’s box-office champ with his film adaptation of Marvel Comics’ Avengers. If anyone can slay movie mediocrity, it’s the one-time Buffy creator.
Tour de France 2010
Perhaps overshadowed by the World Cup, the 97th edition of Tour de France didn’t end as loud as before, with Spain’s (apparently on a sports winning streak) Alberto Contador claiming the yellow jersey. Pitted against multi-tour winner Lance Armstrong (not the astronaut), Contador finished the race 39 seconds ahead of Andy Schleck, another heavy favorite. Asked to comment about his dismal finish in this year’s race, Armstrong blamed his physical strength to his loss. This in turn prompted the press to speculate rheumatism and arthritis. Filipino brand Arthro has already extended sponsorhip offers, though as soon as Armstrong accepts, he might start biking backwards.
Russia writes new history
“My name is not Obama. That’s sensationalism,” says Jean Gregoire Sagbo, Russia’s first duly elected black government official. After being hailed as councilor in the small municipality of Novozavidobo (read: tubo sa adobo), Sagbo made history by being the first member of a racial minority to be elected to public office in heavily discriminating Russia. “His skin is black, but he is Russian inside,” agrees the town mayor, pledging his support to Sagbo’s projects.
Back in the country, Francine Prieto is also battling discrimination. “I’m not fat. I’m half-Norwegian,” she quips.
Pacquiao-Margarito fight on
Now that fickle-minded Floyd Mayweather has finally decided he doesn’t want to brawl with the boxer-slash-congressman, Bob Arum of Top Rank Promotions has found PacMan’s next punching bag in the person of Mexican Antonio Margarito. The two will be punching their claim at the EBC junior middleweight title in November. Because of this, Mommy Dionisia expressed her fears that her son might not be able to juggle the pressures of Congress and training, adding Manny may either miss a regular session or a day of “trining.” Whoever Trining is, we’re still verifying. Pac Man, on the other hand, is confident he can handle it, saying he “knows he will be a good congressman” in his first privilege speech. “I have good work itik,” he proclaims.
Roxxy the sex robot
So we thought the Japanese are the most sexually creative people there is, but then we’d like to reconsider. True Companion LLC., an adult entertainment company in the US, released this week Roxxxy, the world’s first sex robot. Though undeniably looking like a fleshlight that grew a body, there’s more to Roxxxy than the sex, as marketing placements suggest. According to its creators, Roxxxy is by far advantaged than her human competitors, since the artificial intelligence preprogrammed in her is designed to relate and feel compassion to its human. She can also adapt to several personalities, from “Wild Wendy” to “Frigid Farrah.” Another edge is that it doesn’t get pregnant, plus STDs (sex toy disease). Owners are warned though to fully charge Roxxxy’s battery before engaging her to business. You don’t want it dying on you while at it, it will trap your schlong.
