The playing fields: The gay guys you’ll date

You’d think that for a gay guy, dating is all about hookups and casual sex. But there’s a lot more to it than just that.

MANILA, Philippines - It’s still a jungle out there; a snarling swamp that lies in wait for the weakest link in the chain, and being fresh meat for the rest of the hunting season doesn’t make it a bit easier. Sure, the twilight period of your teen years opens you up to a multitude of choices, and the younger your age bracket is, the more “alluring” you are to the rest of the guys. But if you think the gay dating world is all flowers, rainbows and Beyoncé, sit the eff down and think again. The whole fuss of finding The One or The One For Now can be a bit exhausting and disheartening: it’s a mess of feelings, decisions, and more feelings. But fret not, child: here is a list of some of the typical guys you’ll meet in your adventures. Take notes, put it in your black book. Lineup subject to change without prior notice.

The Power Savvy

These career-oriented guys are almost impossible to get into the dating circuit. This kind of guy usually just spends most of his time hunkered down over their laptops at coffee shops or their offices, working on PowerPoint presentations or checking Excel spreadsheets. At times, he goes to clubs to check the scene out but rarely finds anyone worth pursuing. Tinder offers possibilities but he’ll still prefer a good old-fashioned date. And when he settles down for someone, that’s kind of a really big deal. They usually like to be in control in their relationships, occasionally talking to you in the tone they use to sway clients.

The Hopeless Romantic

Forever pining for the wrong guys, disastrous dates, and a dismal dating record, this guy has all the makings of a great boyfriend, but he can never seem to get the hang of it. He’s the one to usually turn to for advice on your relationship problems and he’s always spot on about everything, even though he has little or no experience to get it from. Maybe it’s all those movie marathons, Thought Catalog articles, and endless journal entries on love, life and boys.

The Man-child

This guy usually goes for his fellow man-child, because they’re the only ones who can put up a fight with his obsession for video games. Their Christmas is Electronic Entertainment Expo (which comes with a lengthy livetweet of all the games being released and previewed) and their room is mostly littered with games, every consoles invented, books about video games, and posters. And it’s not just the big guns of the gaming world, they also trawl online for indie games, ones that are poised to be the next big thing (he’s the one who’ll tell you about Fez and how its creator, Phil Fish, is a misunderstood genius). If you can put up with hours and hours of gameplay, this guy will make you the king of his realm (if you know what I mean).

The Pop Tart

From Will and Grace to The Normal Heart, from Madonna to Lana Del Rey, this is a walking pop-culture matrix. He digs all things from lowbrow (he’ll ask if you’ve already listened to Jolina Magdangal’s discography on Spotify) to highbrow (You’ll probably discuss which has better shows now, AMC or HBO). He’s the one who’ll encourage you to try the hot new restaurant in Salcedo Village, go to Today x Future and ask you who your diva is (“I’m definitely a Rihanna but sometimes I feel like I’m a Barbra Streisand”). This guy is a lot of fun.

The Sartorialists

Fashion-oriented guys who read Fantastic Man, Vogue, W and Mr. Porter as their gospels to live by. They wear tailored suits, cuffed pants, penny loafers and cufflinks almost every day like they’re headed to an editorial. You’ll feel like a homeless person when you’re standing next to one but they can be very passionate and loving. Or you’ll eventually find out that the sleek candy wrapper holds a rotten, drama-heavy egg on the inside.

The Young Blood

Devilishly cute guys who usually make everyone weak in the knees. These kids are barely out of college but, because they’re raised on the Internet, think they know sh*t. They wear all the trendy clothes, “curate” hipster playlists with cover art ripped off from Tumblr, tweet incessantly about their feelings but can never seem to know what they really want. So in a way, you will become their Sherpa up the mountain of gayness.

The Frat Pack

Unlike the previous incarnation of the gym bunny, this guy seems almost too perfect, with his right balance of “dudeness,” ambitious drive (he’s most likely to land a corporate job) and, well, “ate-ness.” He still works out religiously at the gym but with a full EDM playlist on at all times. He is also into yoga or cross fit and has a pack of like-minded friends who make a fuss about organic food and protein supplements. They’re the ones who have the tendency to plan their lives around events like LaBoracay, Songkran or anything where they can show off their sculpted bodies. Despite that, he can still be very insecure at times and he’ll need you to stroke his, um, ego.

The Urbanite

Dating this guy is like dating the CNN ticker tape — an endless scroll of drinks, booze, clubs, parties, and sometimes, drugs. These are usually rich kids or trying to be rich kids sneaking their way in the city’s A-list. Typically adorable, barely-out-of-college guys who are still trying to find their footing in the dating world, hence the regular club trips. They are, to paraphrase poet laureate Taylor Swift, happy, free, confused and lonely at the same time.

The Twinkcreative

Writers, filmmakers, poets, graphic designers, ad men — all the skinny, semi-nerdy creative types who are consumed by what they do. You’ll usually find them hanging out at Yardstick or Toby’s Estate, flipping through Monocle, Bloomberg, Businessweek or Kinfolk or talking about the latest episode of Game of Thrones, or discussing the merits of the opening titles of True Detective and Godzilla, and the importance of the right typeface in your correspondence. They are the sweetest and most passionate lovers but they tend to value their freedom.

The Revolutionaire

He usually hates lists like this since it reinforces stereotypes. He’ll talk to you about the depiction of the LGBT in pop culture, quiz you about your favorite gay film and then sort of judge you by it. He’s not just signing campaigns on change.org, he’s actually out on the streets fighting for gay rights. Dating this guy will be an eye-opener. And he’s usually an A+ in the sack.