Why hasn’t he called yet?

Dear China, Mai-Mai and Tingting,

I am a college student and hardly date that my friends tell me that I’m such a nerd. Although my parents are strict, they allow me to go out if it’s a group date. One weekend, my friends set me up with a guy from a nearby school. Our blind date was surprisingly enjoyable. We had a lot in common and "spoke" the same language. I think he had a good time too and when the evening ended, he promised to call. It’s been two weeks and he still hasn’t. What does this mean? I like to call him but is it proper? – Blind Date

The phone call to him isn’t just a matter of it being proper or not. You have to prepare for the worst. If you make the first phone call, are you willing to receive a rejection? Or, if he’s too polite to reject you, are you open to the thought that you chased after him? Sure, you might get a positive response, an alibi for why he hasn’t called but will you be happy with that? Think about it before making the move. – China

If I were you, I wouldn’t be too eager to get in touch with him. Let him make the first step. There are many possible reasons why he hasn’t called yet, so give him the time to plan his move. If he doesn’t call you again, then maybe you have overestimated the results of your first date. If you continue dating, you’ll get a lot of these broken promises. Don’t be disheartened. You’ll find the person for you at the right time. – Mai-Mai

Your common friends would know why he hasn’t called you. Maybe you should ask them because they set you up with him in the first place. They are your friends anyway so I am assuming they won’t lie to you. Asking them will give you a direction. If he doesn’t like you, then you can stop thinking of that enjoyable first date and start forgetting about him. If your friends say he likes you but is just busy or finding the right time to call you, then you can keep your options open. I don’t suggest you make the first call. Calling him might give the wrong signal. – Tingting

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OJT Woes

Dear China, Mai-Mai and Tingting,

I’m presently having my practicum in a well-known company in my province. Most of the people in the office are okay. They go out of their way to teach me the tricks of the trade. My problems began with the men who I think are too old for me, who are overly friendly and obviously flirting with me. What should I do? I’m here only to finish my 300 hours and I don’t want to stir the hornet’s nest and make a big fuss. – Intern

I understand you wanting to maintain a low profile. I suggest you avoid these men as politely as you can. Try to be around the girls all the time. Men will find it more difficult to act inappropriately if you’re around other girls. Another way would be for you to find a surrogate mother. There should be one mother hen in the group or someone who the men respect. You can tell her your feelings and she can disprove your thoughts or if she feels you have a point, she can protect you from them. Just keep it as quiet as you can to avoid being talked about. – China

You can’t do much if you don’t want to create a fuss. If you complain to your supervisor, he/she will have no choice but confront the men you refer to and that will create office talk. And this truly is the most logical move if you really feel harassed by these old men. Since office talk is the last thing you want, then the only thing you can do is continue to ward them off until you complete your hours. – Mai-Mai

If you don’t want to create a fuss, the only thing you can do is sacrifice in silence. They will not stop if you don’t at least verbalize your feelings that their advances are unwanted. But if you have misread their actions, your verbalizing it will create some animosity. I suggest that you focus on learning something while finishing your 300 hours. If they see you seriously concentrating on your work, the less time they will make an attempt at bothering you for some small talk. – Tingting

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