Who’s afraid of Valentine’s Day?

February is the love month simply because Valentine’s falls on the fourteenth. Some people refer to Valentine’s as Christmas of the heart. Of course, we can see the obvious pattern here – both events excite almost everyone, both have their own jolly mascots (Santa Claus for Christmas and Cupid for Valentine’s), and both are plagued by the same irritating traffic and hectic pandemonium.

Of course, we know that Christmas and Valentine’s are the most commercially exploited days of the year. And we end up financially victimized each year, harassed by the same frenzy that we whine about no end. But still, we become willing prey yearly because we love what these dates stand for, and relish the illusions they create.

What Is Love?

Love is a human emotion that we delight in giving and receiving. It is an attention, a caring, a sharing, a euphoric state that is beyond full explanation. Even the wisest of sages and the greatest of poets are perplexed by its mysterious power and beauty.

Oliver Wendell Holmes wrote, "Love is the master key which opens the gates of happiness." Helen Hayes says, "Love…is perhaps the only glimpse we are permitted of eternity." Love expert, Leo Buscaglia, declares, "Love is life. And if you miss love, you miss life," and Beatle, John Lennon, sang, All you need is love.

The Truth About Love

Rafael Ortiz gives a very realistic definition of love: "Love is not finding someone to live with. It’s finding someone you can’t live without." Of course, it can happen that Mr./Ms. Right could eventually turn out to be Mr./Ms. Wrong.

Along with all the ecstatic feelings love brings come corresponding realities and agonies. Goethe wrote, "Love is an ideal thing, marriage a real thing." Love can get you flying so high but when you are confronted with its ultimate realities, the fall could be really painful. Maybe that’s why the term is "fall in love," not "fly or soar in love." The ones who coined the phrase knew that once you are in love, you’ve actually fallen!

Love is truly a double-edged sword. An anonymous wise man once wrote, "Love is like a fire. Whether it is going to warm your hearth or burn your house down, you’ll never know."

Love And Romance

Love is the feeling, the emotion; romance is the illusion that you have to create to sustain it. Love does not last unless its fire is fanned and kept bright and warm. Voltaire put it so perfectly: "Love is a canvas furnished by nature and embroidered by imagination."

Someone in love is actually in a temporary state of heavenly insanity. To him, everything is perfect: the world, the person he loves, there’s even music in the air. Soon, he wakes up and sees things he never saw before — the loved one’s faults, the importance of finances in a relationship, the power play in the love relationship, etc.

So much of the love experience is created by the mind. To keep love’s magic, you have to create illusions and live out fantasies. Keep the courtship going. Set yourselves up for romantic evenings. Flirt. Caress. Seduce. Give and take. Sacrifice. Sustain the romance, or love will die.

Dateless On Valentine’s Day

Some people are afraid of Valentine’s because they don’t have a special someone to be with on that red-letter day. Being dateless on Valentine’s Day doesn’t mean you are unloved or unlovable. Perhaps Mr. or Ms. Right hasn’t come your way yet, or you could be preoccupied with other things (like your career or profession) and it just isn’t time yet for a romantic relationship.

What can you do if you are dateless on Valentine’s? You may arrange a group night-out with unattached friends. Use the time to meditate about your life, determine where you really want to go, and write down your goals. Have a special dinner with your family, hook up with long lost friends, or take an invigorating walk with your dog. Most of all, spread love around to those who need it most – volunteer for a hospital, cheer up the sick, clothe the poor, feed the hungry.

Love Takes All Kinds

Realize that there are many kinds of love. There’s parental love, puppy love (infatuation), love for a friend, love for family, brotherly love, and love for ancestors (filial piety). There is love of God, love of country, love for fellow men, love of nature, love of life, and even love of possessions, love for pets, love of food and other interests (a bibliophile loves books, an audiophile loves sounds, an oenophile loves wines). And of course, there is romantic (sexual) love and platonic (asexual) love.

As you see, there are many avenues in which to express your love energies. There is no need to be afraid of Valentine’s!

What Roses Stand For

Thinking of giving roses on Valentine’s Day? Which color should you send? Here’s a quick rundown:

Give red roses if you want to express deep romantic love and respect. Yellow roses signify joy; one yellow rose stands for jealousy. White roses stand for purity, innocence, and secrecy. Pink is for admiration, infatuation, puppy love, and also for gratitude and appreciation. Light pink roses express understanding, sympathy and sorrow, or mean "Get well soon." Coral and orange roses disclose desire, while pale roses of any color signify friendship.

Rosebuds represent beauty, youth, and innocence. Half-open roses state a promise while ones in full-bloom reveal ripe, full love. One perfect rose stands for one and only love, while two roses wired together connote or announce an engagement. Three roses mean, "I love you"; a dozen means, "I really care" while two or more dozens mean, "I am crazy over you!"

How To Make Someone Love You

Actually, you cannot make anyone love you. All you can do is to make yourself desirable. That means taking care of yourself, making yourself look good, and working towards your own personal fulfillment and success. If someone sees you and finds you a perfect object of his desire and love (and you like the person, too), then, hallelujah, your prayers are answered!

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