Listen up, dads!

Congratulations to my first cousin Ivan Picazo, who graduated cum laude with a Bachelor of Arts degree in Communication Research at the University of the Philippines. Well done, Ivan! I would like to share with you the findings in his thesis (1st runner-up as best thesis). Fathers, read on …

The thesis, entitled "In the name of the fathers, And of the sons: A study on father-son relationship and communication, and the new media’s role in father-son interaction," is a descriptive-exploratory study that takes an in-depth look at how Filipino fathers and their teenage sons communicate their feelings, emotions, and influence in light of the prevalence and accessibility of the new media.

Communicating Feelings

Findings of the thesis show that fathers show their love to their teenage sons through non-verbal means like accompanying their sons to school, giving them money, and sometimes through physical touch such as hugging and putting their arms around their sons’ shoulders like a friend, etc. The sons, on the other hand, reciprocate the love shown to them by obeying their parents and doing well in school.

The fathers in the study feel more confident than their sons in terms of their openness to express their feelings. They also tend to highlight the positive, as supposed to their sons who are more candid about what they express.

Cell phones and the Internet via the Yahoo Messenger are regarded as helpful tools in getting feelings across between father and son.

Fathers and sons who have invested little time together have greater difficulty in expressing themselves to one another.

New Media And Influence On Identity

Sexuality is often discussed by fathers on a superficial level and sometimes in a joking manner. It is quite unfortunate because sons look to their fathers for information on that topic. Seldom are cell phones and the Internet used by fathers to communicate to their sons about sexuality. They prefer to talk about such matters face to face.

Fathers find importance in imparting the following values to their sons: honesty, respect, integrity, hard work, faith, and independence.

Somehow, cell phones and the Internet are also used in imparting the said values.

New Media And Influence On Career Path

Cell phones and the Internet are not much used to convey plans for future career paths. They are to be talked about during a personal encounter. It has been found that today’s fathers are more liberal in allowing their sons to choose their career path, as supposed to older fathers who impose on their sons the career they want their sons to take.

New Media and Influence on Spirituality

There is a role that cell phones and the Internet play in reminding sons about praying, going to church, and other religious practices. Fathers encourage their sons to follow religious practices even if they themselves do not.

The researcher recommends that fathers should not act as barkada to their sons, assuming this will work in deepening their influence on their sons. Where the father’s influence is weak, the influence of media and his son’s group of friends increases. Since media are not reliable sources of information, having objectionable portrayals of men and women, fathers should disclose more of themselves to their sons. Fathers and sons should take advantage of the new media as a useful tool in strengthening communication between the two.

* * *

E-mail author at mommytalk@businessworks.com.ph