Friendly advice to freshmen
June 23, 2006 | 12:00am
Summer has officially ended but there are signs in the air that say otherwise. Take, for example, rainy mornings and sunny afternoons. It’s like the two parts of the day don’t agree with the seasonal changes. One half of the day adheres to the now-corrupted weather and climate scheme (because of our absentmindedness when it comes to nature), while the other half still wants to party on.
At this point of the year, skies (usually) get darker, signaling the start of the rainy season. Rain oftentimes represents a gloomy mood, and for just cause. How, for example, can you go outside and have a GSM Blue picnic? Or how can you take a trip to Sagada when the wind and rain threaten to throw you off the road/cliff? The rain limits you from doing things you could do on a regular sunny day, and so people feel sad and gloomy. You could, however, have lots of fun under the rain, but you could get struck by lightning. I know that the chances of that are really slim, but think about it: that’s lightning, man, it’s going to fry you.
It’s nice to know though that this part of the year isn’t all about depression and gloom. You realize that things can’t grow without water, so the rains revitalize all the plants in desperate need of a drink. The rain also supplies water that seeds from the past season need to grow. And in this country, the rain signals the entrance of freshmen – a new batch of hope that has the capability to turn things around for the better.
But freshman year is pretty tough. Many, including myself, have gone through that college freshman part of our lives, and if you take the wrong steps and make the wrong decisions, things could become ugly. So here, I have prepared pieces of advice for all freshmen entering university this year.
1. Do not over cut. There are these things in college called "cuts" which are a certain number of allowed absences. You can use these any way you like, but if you exceed the maximum amount of cuts, you’re out of that class. So use them wisely, because you’ll never know what might just happen. If your hot friend from Venezuela comes to the Philippines and wants to see you but you have class, you have to make sure that you have enough cuts to allow this. If you couldn’t be with her on that particular day because you used your cuts because "it’s cool to cut class, pare," then I’m sorry, that’s dumb.
2. Do all of your assigned work and don’t forget to recite (cohesively and in context of the subject matter, of course) in class. This will get you good points from the teacher. This will also get you good points from all the girls (or guys, if you’re a girl) in class. They’ll see how smart you are, then they’ll want to be your group mate, then you can have group meetings at your house, then you can serve alcohol and get drunk, then conversation will be more free-flowing, then you could go upstairs and watch a movie or something, use your imagination. Just remember, it all starts with doing your schoolwork and reciting in class.
3. Always bring mouthwash, shades, Eye-Mo, a small bottle of cologne, and instant hand sanitizer. You want to be looking your best when you meet new people. The condition of sore eyes is contagious, so people will be hesitant to go near you. Dog breath is always a big turn off with the ladies. You don’t want your hand to be dirty when you’re shaking the hand of someone new. And you definitely wouldn’t want to have body odor that matches that of an old billy-goat.
In closing, remember that you are freshmen, the paradoxical ray of shining light that penetrates through the Philippines’ rainy season (is it me, or is it signal #77 at all the meetings of the Senate nowadays?). Know that you are good, be confident, and hone your powers well by clearly identifying your capabilities. You can be anything you want to be, change anything you want to change.
So this weekend, go out and party like a freshman should. Get wasted and drink like a fish.
Peace!
E-mail me at enricomiguelsubido@yahoo.com.
At this point of the year, skies (usually) get darker, signaling the start of the rainy season. Rain oftentimes represents a gloomy mood, and for just cause. How, for example, can you go outside and have a GSM Blue picnic? Or how can you take a trip to Sagada when the wind and rain threaten to throw you off the road/cliff? The rain limits you from doing things you could do on a regular sunny day, and so people feel sad and gloomy. You could, however, have lots of fun under the rain, but you could get struck by lightning. I know that the chances of that are really slim, but think about it: that’s lightning, man, it’s going to fry you.
It’s nice to know though that this part of the year isn’t all about depression and gloom. You realize that things can’t grow without water, so the rains revitalize all the plants in desperate need of a drink. The rain also supplies water that seeds from the past season need to grow. And in this country, the rain signals the entrance of freshmen – a new batch of hope that has the capability to turn things around for the better.
But freshman year is pretty tough. Many, including myself, have gone through that college freshman part of our lives, and if you take the wrong steps and make the wrong decisions, things could become ugly. So here, I have prepared pieces of advice for all freshmen entering university this year.
1. Do not over cut. There are these things in college called "cuts" which are a certain number of allowed absences. You can use these any way you like, but if you exceed the maximum amount of cuts, you’re out of that class. So use them wisely, because you’ll never know what might just happen. If your hot friend from Venezuela comes to the Philippines and wants to see you but you have class, you have to make sure that you have enough cuts to allow this. If you couldn’t be with her on that particular day because you used your cuts because "it’s cool to cut class, pare," then I’m sorry, that’s dumb.
2. Do all of your assigned work and don’t forget to recite (cohesively and in context of the subject matter, of course) in class. This will get you good points from the teacher. This will also get you good points from all the girls (or guys, if you’re a girl) in class. They’ll see how smart you are, then they’ll want to be your group mate, then you can have group meetings at your house, then you can serve alcohol and get drunk, then conversation will be more free-flowing, then you could go upstairs and watch a movie or something, use your imagination. Just remember, it all starts with doing your schoolwork and reciting in class.
3. Always bring mouthwash, shades, Eye-Mo, a small bottle of cologne, and instant hand sanitizer. You want to be looking your best when you meet new people. The condition of sore eyes is contagious, so people will be hesitant to go near you. Dog breath is always a big turn off with the ladies. You don’t want your hand to be dirty when you’re shaking the hand of someone new. And you definitely wouldn’t want to have body odor that matches that of an old billy-goat.
In closing, remember that you are freshmen, the paradoxical ray of shining light that penetrates through the Philippines’ rainy season (is it me, or is it signal #77 at all the meetings of the Senate nowadays?). Know that you are good, be confident, and hone your powers well by clearly identifying your capabilities. You can be anything you want to be, change anything you want to change.
So this weekend, go out and party like a freshman should. Get wasted and drink like a fish.
Peace!
E-mail me at enricomiguelsubido@yahoo.com.
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