The Death of Chivalry (Part II)
February 27, 2002 | 12:00am
The Death of ‘Akyat-Ligaw’
Courtship will never be the same. Whatever happened to the traditional ‘akyat-ligaw’? Technology has undeniably altered so many things in our society – including courtship. Cell phones, text messaging, beepers, e-mail, fax – name it. I know these gadgets make communication so much easier and hassle-free. But gone are the days when ligaw sa bahay at pamilya were all in a day’s work. Really, if courtship used to last long, give it three weeks tops in our generation. Guys nowadays aren’t so hot about the waiting game. Sad but true. They belong to the "it’s now or never" batch of dudes. As for the girls, if you think it’s not now, don’t force it. Go for never! Believe me, if he waits, perhaps he is someone worth keeping. If not, never mind! Ditch him. Yes, flowers and chocolates are still SOP, but some guys stop giving them. After giving them, they think their work is done. Dream on! You can stuff the girl of your dreams with all the flowers and chocolates in the world, but there really is more to us than that.
Proximity Factor
Imagine a girl and boy at opposite ends of the earth (or at least the metropolis, anyway). Some guys will take a look at the girl’s address before he makes a move. If the girl lives across the ocean or is in a different time zone (okay, I’m exaggerating) or just plain far away, guys might consider it a big hassle to drive/commute all the way to the girl’s house. To top it all, traffic in the Philippines is the pits. Now, it’s so much more convenient to meet at a middle point and just go your separate ways after.
Mommy Allergy
When a boy gets a girl pregnant, suddenly, the guy turns into the great Houdini. Only some two out of 10 males take the responsibility and play daddy.
You now have an idea of what, more or less, I’m talking about. Chivalry. Is it dead, dear readers? Mr. Webster says that Chivalry is "the qualities expected of a knight – including gallantry, courage, generosity and courtesy; the institution of medieval knighthood.’
And yes, you read it right – medieval. Chivalry has long been forgotten?
The world doesn’t stop revolving; society doesn’t stop evolving. Time passes; things and people change rapidly. Women nowadays aren’t the same damsels in distress awaiting their prince on the topmost floor of the castle. Gone, too, are the days when knights in shining armor rescue the damsel.
Women have become more and more different. They have learned to be less submissive and more active, aggressive and liberated. Now they refuse to be confined at home.
Guys have a split personality. One moment they’re the nicest dudes. But turn your back at them and they’re a whole new different being.
Most guys forget to treat us like girls. I’m not expecting double standard just because I’m a girl.
But some guys get too preoccupied with becoming the "perfect gentleman" around the girl they’re after. They do this to score hundreds of pogi points but around the regular, vanilla-ordinary girl, that perfect gentleman makes a quick exit and turns into a different person. Around the "one-of-the-boys" girl, he shows his buddy-buddy side, which is (most of the time) egotistical, gross and obnoxious. Yet, around the coveted girl, he becomes Mr. Nice Guy – decent, well-bred, respectful, clean, responsible and courageous. Almost like a knight in the 21st century.
In 1581, Sir Walter Raleigh exemplified the ideal of the Renaissance gentleman. He first caught the attention of Queen Elizabeth when she was walking along a muddy path. As she hesitated in front of a particularly large puddle, Raleigh sprang forward and, taking off his cloak, laid it on the ground for his sovereign to step upon. Yes, I know this is the year 2002. Just the same, girls do not need to be royalty to be treated as such.
They need not be Queen Elizabeth to be gallantly and respectfully treated.
Believe me, people will forget what you said. People may forget what you did. But people will never, ever forget how you made them feel.
Courtship will never be the same. Whatever happened to the traditional ‘akyat-ligaw’? Technology has undeniably altered so many things in our society – including courtship. Cell phones, text messaging, beepers, e-mail, fax – name it. I know these gadgets make communication so much easier and hassle-free. But gone are the days when ligaw sa bahay at pamilya were all in a day’s work. Really, if courtship used to last long, give it three weeks tops in our generation. Guys nowadays aren’t so hot about the waiting game. Sad but true. They belong to the "it’s now or never" batch of dudes. As for the girls, if you think it’s not now, don’t force it. Go for never! Believe me, if he waits, perhaps he is someone worth keeping. If not, never mind! Ditch him. Yes, flowers and chocolates are still SOP, but some guys stop giving them. After giving them, they think their work is done. Dream on! You can stuff the girl of your dreams with all the flowers and chocolates in the world, but there really is more to us than that.
Proximity Factor
Imagine a girl and boy at opposite ends of the earth (or at least the metropolis, anyway). Some guys will take a look at the girl’s address before he makes a move. If the girl lives across the ocean or is in a different time zone (okay, I’m exaggerating) or just plain far away, guys might consider it a big hassle to drive/commute all the way to the girl’s house. To top it all, traffic in the Philippines is the pits. Now, it’s so much more convenient to meet at a middle point and just go your separate ways after.
Mommy Allergy
When a boy gets a girl pregnant, suddenly, the guy turns into the great Houdini. Only some two out of 10 males take the responsibility and play daddy.
You now have an idea of what, more or less, I’m talking about. Chivalry. Is it dead, dear readers? Mr. Webster says that Chivalry is "the qualities expected of a knight – including gallantry, courage, generosity and courtesy; the institution of medieval knighthood.’
And yes, you read it right – medieval. Chivalry has long been forgotten?
The world doesn’t stop revolving; society doesn’t stop evolving. Time passes; things and people change rapidly. Women nowadays aren’t the same damsels in distress awaiting their prince on the topmost floor of the castle. Gone, too, are the days when knights in shining armor rescue the damsel.
Women have become more and more different. They have learned to be less submissive and more active, aggressive and liberated. Now they refuse to be confined at home.
Guys have a split personality. One moment they’re the nicest dudes. But turn your back at them and they’re a whole new different being.
Most guys forget to treat us like girls. I’m not expecting double standard just because I’m a girl.
But some guys get too preoccupied with becoming the "perfect gentleman" around the girl they’re after. They do this to score hundreds of pogi points but around the regular, vanilla-ordinary girl, that perfect gentleman makes a quick exit and turns into a different person. Around the "one-of-the-boys" girl, he shows his buddy-buddy side, which is (most of the time) egotistical, gross and obnoxious. Yet, around the coveted girl, he becomes Mr. Nice Guy – decent, well-bred, respectful, clean, responsible and courageous. Almost like a knight in the 21st century.
In 1581, Sir Walter Raleigh exemplified the ideal of the Renaissance gentleman. He first caught the attention of Queen Elizabeth when she was walking along a muddy path. As she hesitated in front of a particularly large puddle, Raleigh sprang forward and, taking off his cloak, laid it on the ground for his sovereign to step upon. Yes, I know this is the year 2002. Just the same, girls do not need to be royalty to be treated as such.
They need not be Queen Elizabeth to be gallantly and respectfully treated.
Believe me, people will forget what you said. People may forget what you did. But people will never, ever forget how you made them feel.
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