BLANK AND JONES

DJ Culture (Kontor)
"The quintessential synthesis of silence/ a vibrating galaxy/ an invisible spectrum of waves/ and hidden behind a gigantic shadow of alpha centauris / signs of galertic [sic] light/ and life" Think I made that up? You have to be kidding. I lifted those lines straight up from the introductory track for Blank and Jones’ DJ Culture. You can actually find the full text of that intro in the liner notes. Quite a shame, really, since you could have found a much better use for the space than truly, truly trite "lyrics," that would make even hacks cringe.

That it was written by Diether Maier of Yello makes you wonder if the dude truly understood what he was writing, or if he just has a pretty poor grasp of the English language. I would have liked to think that past a certain point, one doesn’t care about the lyrics to a dance number. After all, it’s the beat you’re after right? I mean, if it’s got a kickin’ good bassline, and the drum has got a good rhythm, who cares what words are blasting out at the same time? Well I should have been warned.

Piet Blank and Andy Kaufhold, who are of course, the duo behind the Blank and Jones moniker, seems to have gotten all the clichés of trance music down pat. The synthesizer stabs. The glistening arpeggios. The unwavering four on the floor. The ethereal female vocals. If they ever had a formula for trance, this would be it. I mean, I do not belong to the school of dance music thought that turns down its nose at the mention of the T-word. I mean, there¹s a lot of good trance music out there, as hard as that may be for the hard-core electronica fanatics to swallow. Hey, that’s what made all the superstar DJ’s that way, isn’t it? If not, ask the legions of Sasha followers. I mean no disrespect that way. On the other hand, there is the number of people who dismiss trance with labels like "the other white beat" or words to that effect. I don’t blame them. With works like this popping out of the woodwork, who can stand this for any length of time?

There just is very little to be said of music that seems to copy from a single book and just adjust the vocoder effects and the breakdown placements to their own, personally designed levels‹the track "La Luna" is a prime example of this. "The Blue Sky" is such a ripoff of the Robert Miles pattern, it¹s a wonder he hasn¹t gotten around to suing them yet. "Waste Your Youth" is perhaps one of the relatively better tracks, deviating from the established mold for a harder, "tech-trance" feel. The high point of the album, perhaps, is the tenth track, a breakbeat-esque version of "The Nightfly" The rest of the time, I just sat there listening to the album and shaking my head. Not nodding, shaking. There are 14 tracks listed on the album, but there are actually nine full-length songs. Track ten, as mentioned earlier, is pretty much the highlight. The rest are so-called short versions, although "short" is a relative term. I suggest that, for your own purposes, if you don’t take my word for it, you go get a listen to the short versions first. That way, you’ll have an easier time of it, and not have to suffer through the whole sorry mess.