The secrets of old age (Part 2)
How do we face growing old? Here are some small but useful pieces of advice:
• A retirement fund, money that you have earned, is best kept with you. Be in control of whatever you have set aside for the rainy day, to cover your wants and needs. What if it runs out? Pray that our bank balance is enough to pay for the last rites and the undertaker. Pray, too, for loving and caring children, family and friends, the real blessings in life. This is when role reversals give meaning, comfort, and peace.
• Whatever you feel like eating, just eat! Address ungrudgingly those I-feel-like-eating prompts. I allow myself to binge on Arce’s macapuno and rich truffles dusted with bitter cocoa. Minor feelings of guilt are acceptable if done in moderation and only from time to time.
• Food that’s good for health, eat more. Food that’s not, eat less, but don’t deprive yourself. Let some rich treat roll over your tongue like a luxurious morsel. Sometimes, when I’ve had my fill of brown rice and quinoa, I take the Japanese white, short grain and sticky variety, and the feeling is ecstasy. Sometimes. When the feeling hits you, relish a glass of Chablis and the purity of its aroma and taste or a slice of dark caramel cake, but return quickly to reality and that quarter cup limit.
• Treat sickness with optimism. We hit the panic button out of dread of the staggering cost of medicine and procedures. That’s normal. However, worrying and being afraid never solve or offer solutions. Try to see the humor in desperate circumstances like a friend who took a pragmatic approach, “We really have to die of something, you know.” Birth, aging, sickness, and death, this is the normal flow of life. No one can reverse or travel backward.
Note also the ironies of life, when the glitter and the grunge, the best and the worst, seem to coincide: My friend sold all her assets in order to have a good start in a foreign land. This was in fulfillment of her dream to retire comfortably in a country where citizens enjoy full social and medical benefits. On her second year abroad, she was diagnosed with cancer. Although medical expenses were not a major concern, a hurting question persisted: Did she move to another country just to die there?
• Settle all the outstanding issues beforehand and you will be able to leave without regret. Pay your money debts, forgive those who have wronged or hurt you and ask forgiveness, in return. Declutter your life and home. Make your Living Will and share your death wish with a friend or a relative who could be trusted to honor your last wishes.
• Let God handle your life, let the doctors handle your body, but be in charge of your own moods.
God is a benevolent presence. We tend to ignore Him during good times but when everything goes bonkers, do we seek Him? Keep God involved.
Find doctors with integrity, those who are not money-obsessed or surgery-crazy. There was a TV program that focused on botched cosmetic procedures where women paid insane amounts to look young without questioning or doing their homework. The damage done to their faces and bodies could not be reversed. It’s better to work on keeping your natural charm and that irrepressible smile that is unique and lasting.
Stop anger. Keep your words light and gentle.
• Our kids will make their own fortune. Every parent’s pain and pride. Don’t hinder their cherished aspirations. Encourage, inspire, and enlighten them to stay on track.
• Your old body: Pay more attention to your health, only you can do this. If I had a bargaining chip, I’d ask for a longer, healthier, and more fulfilling life with no shocking stupors in my bones, brain, heart, nerves, and stomach. Please!
• Your old companion: Treasure every moment with your other half. One of you will leave first. Oh, perish the thought! Someone, however, quipped, “I’d ask mine to be ungentlemanly-like and go first, just this once.”
• Your old friends: Seize every opportunity to meet up with them before time slips away. Stay close to your confidants, the second self, ally, and kindred spirit who know you more than you know yourself.
My list of compeers with angel wings is steadily gaining ground, up on high. I can imagine the welcome riot they’d run when my time comes.
• Go ahead and cry. Pope Francis emphasized the comfort that crying brings. Hard as it seems to be the instrument of peace, try to think less of yourself and give more importance to others. The generosity of your spirit touches hearts and the loving warmth reverts to you.
• Running water does not flow back. So is life. Live with gratefulness and continue to pray, dance, sing, laugh, read, and learn. And love.
Growing old has never felt so good.
