Jamby and Eric: It must be fate

He is a dashing French businessman of noble lineage who will become the next Count Valade.

She is an heiress of one of the Philippines’ wealthiest and most respected families.

So it’s understandable why there was more than the usual curiosity when Eric Dudoignon-Valade and Jamby Madrigal’s paths crossed, with their journey–one of a strong friendship that turned to romance–leading them all the way to a countryside wedding this Dec. 7.

Because Jamby is someone who treasures and guards her privacy, the couple’s relationship has grown generally without nosey kibitzers hounding them, although a year before it happened, newspapers had announced that the two were set to wed. Now that Eric and Jamby have announced their engagement, the curiosity factor has understandably risen.

Though theirs is a meeting of two seemingly different worlds, Eric and Jamby prove that love overcomes differences in cultures and personalities, and that love in fact can transform such differences in a way that complements and enhances a couple’s lives.

"We’re very much opposites in many ways," shares Jamby at the Madrigal family’s New Manila home. It’s the first time the couple are opening up to the media about their private life, and even now their fondness for each other is plain to see.

One can’t help notice that Eric is wearing his gold engagement ring bearing the Valade coat of arms, the noblesse d’epee (epee is French for sword; the Dudoignons were knighted in Medieval times because they had fought for the king. The family lives in the town of Valade in the south of France where the family chateau is located). Eric gave Jamby a similar one but following custom, she will wear it only when the couple are married.

"He’s very pragmatic while I am passionate," Jamby continues. "I have an artistic streak; I’m more of a romantic. Eric is practical where I am not. I always give people too much of the benefit of the doubt. I will always assume the best of others to the point where I get fooled until it’s too late. Eric ferrets out (the insincere people); he’s very good at reading people."

Eric acknowledges that Jamby has had to adjust to "Oh so many things! It’s not one major thing but many little things. Sometimes I’m very direct and I might hurt people–that’s a difference in terms of culture. Filipinos (tend to) go around the bush or go through a third person. And me, sometimes I’m not very diplomatic. Sometimes I’m very impatient when things don’t move as fast as I would like them to."

His frankness and directness, however, have endeared Eric to Jamby. "He is very sincere," Jamby explains. "At least what you see is what you get. He is not (someone who is) nice in front of you then behind you does something else."

Jamby says she never expected to marry a Frenchman, adding in jest that they are "very difficult." For example, she says, "Eric has very high standards, never content with anything. With food, there’s always something wrong. He’s very French in that way."

Having been lived in both England and France in her younger years, Jamby reveals she was hoping to meet an Englishman. "I like the way the English speak–they have a nice accent, very charming," she says. "One thing about the French, they like to argue all the time and I don’t like to argue all the time. I would much rather have discussions. The British like to discuss, the French like to argue."

Eric’s take on the "arguing" is this: "It’s the only way to exchange opinion. Intellectual stimulation is the most important thing with your wife. Your wife is the person you are going to be with all the time; she is the major person in your life. It’s important to talk with her, share problems when there are some." He adds with a laugh, "If you don’t have brain stimulation with your wife, what are you going to do? Make babies all the time?"

Three years ago, of course, Jamby hadn’t yet discovered all that. Eric was in the Philippines looking into the possibility of putting up businesses here. Eric’s lawyer asked his friend, who happened to be Jamby’s lawyer, to introduce Eric to someone who knew how to speak French. Eric and Jamby were introduced at Paparazzi, where, although Jamby says she did find Eric "good-looking," romantic sparks didn’t fly. But they hit it off as friends.

"Jamby had traveled all around the world; she’s very cosmopolitan," says Eric. "It was very interesting to meet someone who had done so many things. There were sparks as friends, yes. But it wasn’t passion. (Rather) our friendship grew. Which is better because I believe it’s stronger. Passion does not last.

"Jamby understands my culture," adds Eric appreciatively. "She speaks French. She has gone around the world and has experienced many different cultures. So our gap of culture is not so strong. She understands better my way of doing things." It also helped that both are Catholics.

And what of the Frenchmen’s reputation for being ladies’ men? Jamby replies, laughing, "Eric is the most unromantic man I have met! He gives me flowers once a year."

"No, sometimes more," Eric chimes in, explaining, "If you give flowers everyday, and then you don’t on one day, she might say, ‘Ah! You didn’t give me flowers!’ So now when I bring flowers, she remembers it."

For his part, it was quite easy for Eric to warm up to Filipino culture in general and to Jamby in particular. Having accompanied Jamby in her innumerable socio-civic work for children, Eric has gone as far south as Dumaguete and as far north as Baguio, in the process meeting Filipinos from all walks of life.

"Filipinos have a Latin side," he observes. "They love to party, they are very alive. Their Latin blood makes them different from most of the countries in Asia. Wherever you go, Filipinos are smiling and enjoying. Even the poor–I have seen a lot of them–they smile and are happy to live; they are happy despite the poverty. Also, the family is very strong in the Philippines, probably even more than in France, more than in many countries, actually.

"I was very interested to see the real Philippines. And I believe that the best way is to go where a real Filipina goes. Jamby was going to (places like) Smokey Mountain and Payatas. I like different things and I like to see true things. As I told you I’m a very true person. I wanted to know, ‘How is a real Filipino?’ To stay only in Forbes or Dasmariñas is not (to know) the real Philippines. I was more interested to see–and help if possible–Jamby helping thousands of children."

Eric had always been attracted to Asian women but what he found most endearing in Jamby is, he says, "She is one of the kindest women I’ve ever met. She always tries to make me happy; she’s very affectionate, very attentive to my needs. I think that’s probably one of the characteristics of Asian women–they’re very attentive to their husbands or boyfriends compared to European or American women who are more independent. But Jamby is very independent, too. She is able to mix both.

"Jamby gave me a different way of seeing things. I see things the foreigner way, then I see things the Filipino way, then we try to find a middle (ground) then try to adjust. In the process I’ve learned a lot. In the Philippines everyday is a new day.

"That’s what makes us complement each other. Where I’m weak, she’s strong."

"Believe it or not," Jamby ends, "before I met Eric, a fortune teller told him he would meet me. Then when she knew both of us, she kept telling me he would marry me and I kept on saying ‘no!’"

Given that initial resistance and how fortune eventually paved the way, one can’t help but think that Cupid is not the only one good at shooting arrows. Fate is a sharp-shooter, too.