Paper Rex's PatMen opens up about mental struggles in VCT Pacific Stage 1

MANILA, Philippines — Filipino Valorant player, Patrick "PatMen" Mendoza made his international debut in the Valorant Champions Tour (VCT) Pacific as he suited up for Paper Rex, one of the region's top teams.

It had been a challenging transition for the former NAOS Esports player, as not only was he playing with an international team but it was also his first trip abroad and the first time to play for a team he had been a fan of.

"I'm gonna be real, when I joined Paper Rex, since I'm the new guy. I went [through] a depressing phase,” Mendoza shared during Paper Rex's last post-match interview after their defeat to RRQ in the lower bracket finals of VCT Pacific Stage 1.

(The Indonesian squad eventually went straight to the finish, overcoming South Korea's Gen.G, 4-1, to lift the VCT Pacific Stage 1 trophy.)

Despite his cheerful demeanor on camera and during streams, Mendoza revealed the internal battles he faced.

"I always show that I'm happy. I'm nice with the team with a camera and on stream, but during practice, I know, like I underperform a lot,” he continued.

The pressure to perform and fit in with his new team weighed heavily on the 23-year old. But he was able to overcome the challenge thanks to encouragement from his teammates and his coach.

"My teammates, my coach, they always encourage me. It's not like they did something to me that's why I'm down, but because sometimes I'm being hard on myself, you know but I'm so happy that I have teammates like this. They always encourage me, especially Alecs. They don't give up on me. They say I deserve to be here,” added Mendoza.

Though Mendoza's debut match with Paper Rex ended up in defeat, the team managed to claw its way back from almost being eliminated to booking their slot in Valorant Masters Toronto after winning five matches in a row (two matches in the group stages and three matches in the playoffs). This was made possible by helping Mendoza fully integrate into the team.

"Unang pagpasok ko sa Paper Rex, sobrang lost talaga ako. Ang daming mga protocols and mga decision making plans na hindi pa ako aware nung time na yun. From the one month na I'm practicing with the team, alam na alam ko na kung anung gagawin nila, may chemistry na kumbaga,” said Mendoza.

And though they finished Stage 1 in third place, qualifying for Valorant Masters was a huge achievement for the team. And with Mendoza now fully integrated and confident in his role, Paper Rex is poised to make a formidable comeback to the international Valorant stage as they compete in Toronto next month.

"Now, I [fully believe] I'm part of the team and I think for the next few months we're gonna be dangerous for sure,” said Mendoza.