The edge of darkness

MANILA, Philippines - Often, the most important roles are the ones we never see. It could be the kingmakers that tirelessly charter the success of a company, country or charity from the shadows of the public faces that bathe in the credit of it all; or the nutritionist that scientifically balances the diet and training of his multi-million dollar, Nike-endorsing athlete to ensure that they are in the most perfect possible condition for victory; or in the case of your car, it is usually that lonely guy in an artificially lit room with a white coat, thick glasses and a tri-color pen stuffed into a pocket protector on the top left hand breast of his company issued jacket who has spent countless sleepless nights and missed a whole season of Will & Grace coming up with the perfect oil for your engine.

These are the unsung heroes. The people that make the world go round, or in the case of Castrol, the ones that keep it well oiled. And yet the problem is, most of us don’t even know they exist, much less appreciate them. While car designers enjoy rock star status and engine makers get the respect of heart surgeons, lubricants, sadly, get lost in the back pages of the owners handbook. Which is why the good folks of British Petroleum, who are the folks behind legendary products like Castrol Magnatec, GTX and EDGE, thought it was about time we found out just how important the lifeblood of your engine is by taking us to the most punishing playground you can ever lay wheels on –– the Nürburgring Nordschleife.

Welcome to the Castrol EDGE Nürburgring experience: the only driving program in the world rumored to have frightened Chuck Norris. Unlike in Chuck’s toughest battles, in this arena, you have 73 different opponents –– some of them lefts, some of them rights, some slow, some fast, but all equally capable of maximum destruction. Despite winning three Formula One world championships and dominating a rain-soaked race there, Sir Jackie Stewart famously labeled this place as “The Green Hell” because of its unpredictable weather, deceiving curves and more elevation changes than Charlie Sheen after skipping his medication.

In order to prepare us for the legendary ‘ring, Castrol teamed up with long time partners, BMW, as well as their Motorsport division, for extensive training on the Grand Prix circuit that adjoins the North loop, and for the barely legal assortment of performance cars that were parked inch-perfect outside the hospitality tent. Every single BMW model was represented, with the exception of the 7series (for obvious reasons) but more importantly, every member of the “M’ family was accounted for.

This was, as our host from Castrol Philippines, Ariel De Jesus, aptly described as “car porn”.

And if somehow the cars failed to impress you, then the introduction of our celebrity instructor, and World Touring Car Champion, Andy Priaulx, would. And if he didn’t, then the medical facility would, after they revived you from the bizarre testosterone coma you managed to slip into.

Andy reminds us that this is the exact same oil that he puts in his race car. No additives, no special treatments, just the same liquid engineering that goes into every Castrol bottle that is on every shelf around the world. The entire event is set up to give customers, dealers, their partners as well as members of the media a chance to appreciate the tolerances of the oil and to understand the incredible forces that an engine is subjected to and the importance of protecting it as it does.

Several driving exercises were set up around various parts of the Grand Prix Circuit to simulate this, as well as to train us for the demands of the Nordschleife and evaluate the skill level of the participants along the way.

The event is held over two days with the first day made up of the garden variety braking and emergency lane changing maneuvers that simulate real road avoidance situations, as well as a slalom course through cones, full lapping sessions at near race speeds behind an instructor, and a co-drive with FIA GT Champion and current 24 Hour Le Mans driver, Dirk Muller, as well as a drift ride with Andy Priaulx in the Castrol EDGE M3. But as incredible as it all was, I have to say that there are few things more arousing in this world than hearing, “James, your M3 is now ready for the drifting challenge.”

Go ahead, close your eyes and say it aloud. “(Insert your name here), your M3 is now ready for the drifting challenge.”

There’s just something about tearing up someone else’s rubber in one of the most finely tuned and sophisticated engines in the world, in a chassis that would make Ryan Reynolds feel flabby. As I steered the car with my right foot and an armful of opposite lock around a purpose-built wet drift pad to the soundtrack of tortured rubber, an angry exhaust, and a shrieking passenger, I slipped into that happy place where everything becomes just background noise except for the sound of your soul smiling.

A band that has spent years playing music together can relate, as can a Formula One team after pulling off the perfect, race-deciding pit stop: when everything is in tune, it becomes a chorus instead of noise, or an almost weightless, timeless place where everything is happening effortlessly; and only when an engine is getting all the protection it needs under extreme forces does it achieve the perfect rhythm that makes it sing instead of scream, which is a sound that can be more intoxicating than the happy hour that followed.

“Your beer is very weak,” my colleague complained to the waiter at the end of the first day. He was right, but it was just as well, as we were reminded that Castrol would be deliberately setting up an alcohol breathalizer test in the morning for all participants of the Nordschleife lapping sessions. Zero alcohol, or zero drive. A tough call for the Philippine team, who are notoriously more impaired by the “lack of” rather than “the effects of” alcohol. But rules are rules, and we abstained. A bit.

The morning session was cloudy with a chance of fear as the rain clouds hovered over the 20.8-kilometer track that carves its way through the Eiffel mountains. We were divided into teams of eight, with four cars per group, two laps per driver. As soon as we were given our assignments, I dashed out to the grippy little 135i, which was probably the only BMW variant to date that I haven’t tried, but more importantly, was the first car behind our BMW Motor sport instructor.

Just seconds before we were flagged off, though, the skies opened up and washed all the rubber that was laid down the days before. I take off and build up just enough speed to stretch out second gear before I need to dab on the brakes and start turning into turn one. We are at modest speeds, yet the traction control light is flashing like a Christmas tree with every brush of the brakes and stab of the throttle. It’s a handful just to keep on the circuit but thanks to the expert advice crackling over the radio in the car from our instructor up ahead, I keep it tidy, and shiny side up.

The next 70 odd corners are a mix of euphoria, nostalgia and paranoia as I thread them together remembering key events that punctuate international motor sports history as well as my own. Like the Nikki Lauda corner that our host almost renamed the “De Jesus” corner after taking the scenic route around it thanks to a tight steering angle and an itchy right foot. This was also the first place my esteemed colleague, Kookie Ramirez, took me to on our first international trip together back in ’04, when I put two wheels on the gravel in Adenauer Forst in a 7Series. There was also Bergwerk, where my first editor-in-chief, Ken Quintal, almost became part of the scenery when we took an M6 and an M Roadster here for the last trip we took together, plus a 630 Cabriolet when I first went to Hockenheim for my very first F1 race as a certified FIA photographer in ‘05 and stopped over for a quick side trip. Plus the time I picked up a 4.6is X5 in Munich and drove eight hours one way by myself for a handful of laps, only to drive back that same night.

Come to think of it, every time I’ve come here I have been in a BMW. Which means every time I’ve driven here I’ve had premium Castrol oil flowing through the engine. And now that I have thought about it, the mere fact that I didn’t need to think about it makes me even more grateful that someone else thought about it, so that I didn’t have to. Which, if you think about it, is just how oil should be.