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Best of the Week: Threats, truths and trannies |


Best of the Week: Threats, truths and trannies

- Irvin Cortez -

Revelation of the Week: Atlantis’ Location Found

MANILA, Philippines - “Does anybody know the way to Atlantis?” we were once asked via song; and to answer that question, yes, Mandy, somebody does. After accusing Cyprus, the Bermuda Triangle and the Yonaguni Monument of hiding the lost city for years, Professor Richard Freund of the University of Hartford is now claiming he’s got enough proof that Atlantis is located in an inland marsh in Spain. Yep, that’s right. Atlantis is to Spain as Pompeii is to Italy. Using satellite imagery, a “virtual MRI” and his common sense, Freund found his way to southern Spain where a marshland dry only for one month throughout the year became his suspect. Scientists are now jumping in to verify his claims while Mandy Moore is asking a new question: Did the captain of the Titanic cry?

PR Fail of the Week: Bing, From Microsoft

We’re still not sure people will ever learn the lessons of social media and marketing, and we have the exact reasons. Perhaps unaware of the Kenneth Cole fiasco, Bing, Microsoft’s search engine used by a meager fraction of the online world, posted on its Twitter page: “For every retweet, Bing will give $1 to Japan quake victims, up to $100K.” Users immediately retweeted but most fired back with hate, criticizing Bing for taking advantage of the situation. “Hey, remember how Google set up a people finder to help Japanese find loved ones and didn’t brag about it?” @convexmirror posted, while others continued to rant using the #f*ckyoubing hashtag. As of press time, Microsoft has apologized for the fiasco and donated $100,000.

‘Kaw Na! Da Best Ka!’ Award: Justin Bieber

What sleeps on his tour bus, is not allowed to leave his hotel room and has rumors about his gender? No, it’s not a post-mortem Michael Jackson or a depressed Lady Gaga; it’s hail-the-superstar-of-the-post-modern-world Justin Bieber! Arriving for a performance in Liverpool, England, the 17-year-old sensation was forced to sleep on his tour bus after two fan girls reportedly gained access to his hotel room. The two die-hard Beliebers apparently stole maid’s uniforms and snuck up to Justin’s room. Pretending to be from housekeeping services, the girls did some mild cleaning first and once alone, started taking photos of the superstar’s belongings. The Biebs got very upset about this and the two girls were bludgeoned to death and fed to his fans. Kidding!

Good News of the Week: Azkals Move On The Next Round

Despite losing to the Mongolian Blue Wolves this week, the Azkals will be moving on the next round of qualifiers for the 2012 AFC Cup. Bowing to the Mongolians 2-1 in their second match, the Azkals, however, maintained their lead in the aggregate score to 3-2, after their win last month in Bacolod. The next match is against Myanmar and is set on March 21. Striker (and Supreme pin-up boy) Phil Younghusband is still recuperating from an injury and it is unsure whether he can play for the team this Monday. Scores of Azkals fans (@anilmorales included) are praying he could, but in any case he can’t, a member of the Bilibid Prison’s Team Puzakals is ready to sub him.

‘Talentadong Tao’ Of The Week: Bell Nuntita

Okay, we’ll admit it. We’re also not kind of sure with this one, so it’s up to you if you’ll call Bell a talentado or a talentada. In any case, she’s still talented. Auditioning for Thailand’s Got Talent (where, interestingly, the hosts are exact Thai counterparts of Luis Manzano and Billy Crawford), Bell Nuntita wowed the judges and the people with her performance of a song she especially arranged for her audition. Starting out in a soothing Regine Velasquez-esque voice, Bell switched mid-song to a deep, masculine voice no one would’ve expected. “You deceived me at first!” one of the judges exclaimed. See for yourself if you’d be deceived, too. Search the video on Youtube: Thailand’s Got Talent: Boy or Girl?

Parenting Style of the Future: Babies With Three Parents

This isn’t about homosexual love triangles and babies for adoption, so you can turn your gaydar off already. The British government is now thinking about allowing three-parent in-vitro fertilization, meaning a test tube baby can now have three parents instead of the normal two. It is still unclear though, if the test tube can be legally considered the mother. Andrew Lansley, health minister of Britain, said they are considering the procedure to prevent incurable diseases from being inherited by the offspring. Three-parent IVF is done by swapping DNA between two fertilized eggs. It intervenes in the fertilization process, by eliminating cell information that might develop into fatal diseases. The Catholic Church, known for its staunch protection of the sanctity of life, is yet to comment on the issue but Barangay Ayala-Alabang may soon ban test tubes and British nationals in their area.

Bad News of the Week: Nuclear Threat Text Scams

The Philippines is the world’s texting capital and we do not hold that distinction for no reason. Anyone with a cell phone is a texter, and possibly, a scammer at that. Because of the tsunami-generating earthquake that struck Japan last week, one of the country’s nuclear power plants is at risk of a meltdown and the whole world has been monitoring the containment efforts to prevent the impending disaster. What’s actually sad is that wrongful texts about the radiation going to the Philippines and converting to acid rain circulated this week, causing panic to already worried people. Schools in the provinces (and even PUP) canceled their classes for their students’ safety. In a nation where more than three texts are sent every second, it’s just sad to note some people are not helping the situation.

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