Choosing between one’s own career and family business
Dear Nanay,
I read your advice to To Go Or Not To Go last week and I finally decided to e-mail you to consult a similar problem I have. My problem is a little different because instead of a fiancé, my problem is really I have a very good job here in the US and my parents want me to move back to Manila to help with the family business. My life has already been here in America for the past six years and I have worked very hard to get to where I am. I am a successful professional and I have a very good life. But now, as my parents are getting older and want to retire, they want me to come home and take over the family business. This is something I am not sure I want to do especially with everything that I have built here in America. How do you think I should approach my dilemma?
— TO GO OR NOT TO GO 2
Dear TO GO OR NOT TO GO 2,
You are right in saying that your problem is a little bit different from our previous letter sender. Fortunately though, I think your dilemma might be a little easier to approach because you only need to make a choice — albeit a difficult one — without involving the life of a third party like a fiancé.
Perhaps you should really ask yourself what is the most important thing for you. Is it pleasing your parents? Is it your career? Is it independence?
Then ask yourself what your long-term goals are. Where will you be in five or 10 years? Do you really see yourself running your family business 10 years from now? Or do you think you will continue up the corporate ladder in America? You have to realize that some people do prefer to be and are more successful being professionals as opposed to business owners. One is not better than the other. Different people just prefer different career paths.
After considering these two questions, you can probably make a more informed decision. For example, if your professional career is the most important thing for you and you are not really interested in running your family business, then perhaps you should stay in America. I am sure your parents will understand. But if you think that you will eventually be running the business anyway but you just do not want to do it now, perhaps you should reconsider and look at moving back already. Anyway, gagawin mo rin naman iyan, bakit ka pa magaantay (why wait since you are going to do it eventually)?
Sincerely,
Nanay
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Dear Nanay,
I read your reply to letter sender To Go or Not To Go last week and just thought I would send this letter in the hopes that To Go or Not To Go might see it.
I want to tell her that she is not alone in her problem and that it is actually a pretty common dilemma that people face. It is not necessarily because of love or family or not necessarily from as far as New York to Manila. But sometimes it can be to move from Cebu to Manila away from your family because of a job offer like what happened to me.
There are many times when we have to make choices with regard to where we will live for whatever reasons. And most of the time, these dilemmas do not have right or wrong answers. They are simply choices we must make and sort of having to choose the lesser of two evils or the better of two goods.
Ultimately she must discuss with her fiancé her current situation and perhaps also discuss with her mom her dilemma. Maybe one of them will give way and then her decision will be made easier. But if this is not going to be the case then she will have to make a very difficult decision like what I had to do. — I MADE THE MOVE
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