Cataract operations

Last night I looked up at the sky and found a light sprinkling of stars. When was the last time I saw stars? 

 This all began approximately two weeks ago. I asked my son, who has had cataract operations, to bring me to see his doctor Adel Vergel Samson. You see, I am 70 years old and cataracts grow like mushrooms on people my age. Sure enough my left eye had medium cataracts and my right eye had heavy bordering on glaucoma. Doesn’t that border on blindness? I asked and the doctor said, Yes it sort of does.

 They told me I had to go to PhilHealth to get my lifetime membership card, replace the old card I had. So I went in looking completely lost but a man told me to go to counter 2, the senior’s counter. You will be next in line, he said. So I went, told the lady I needed a card for the retired. She told me I had to go to SSS and get a record of my contributions for the past 10 years. She gave me a letter for them.  I thanked her and left. Total time about 15 minutes.

 The next morning I went to the SSS. My number was 22, number 16 was being attended to. It took about half-an-hour for my number to be called and five minutes to get the papers I needed. I couldn’t believe my luck. Then I went back to PhilHealth and it took about 20 minutes to print out my card because their computer was acting up and printing very slowly. But I waited without fussing and got everything I needed really fast. I am still wondering why. Is it because I understand the instructions and obey their rules and don’t argue? Is it because my last job was as president of a medium-sized agency? Is it because I’m a columnist but nobody seemed to know me. Nevertheless I got everything done quickly. Maybe it’s because I know how to listen and understand.

 Finally, I go for my operation. First they put you on the computer that measures your eye. Then they make you read those letters. Then they put eyedrops in the eye that will be operated on. Finally they take you to a little room at the back where you change into scrubs, slippers and something that looks like a shower cap to keep your hair away from your face. Then they make you lie down on a sort of bed, slanted downwards at the head, with a small purple pillow that looks like a doughnut, sort of like the pillow you sit on after you give birth but much smaller. 

 Then they stick oxygen into your nose and say you can sleep while you wait for the doctor. When he comes in they wrap your face up so that only one eye, the eye they will de-cataract is showing. Doctor turns on the laser. Your eyes are closed but you see a gold light. Then he says he’s just putting gadgets that will keep your eyes open. More anesthetic eyedrops. Finally I see two rectangles with round edges floating on a bed of black, fuchsia and white. Doctor tells me to look up. Then I think he puts two holes in my retina. I see flashes of gold and teal moving around.

 Is it painful? You know when you fall and hit your leg and you have a big bruise? The first day when someone presses the bruise it’s very painful and you almost scream, OUCH! It is not that painful. The second day when someone presses your bruise, it’s not as painful as the first day but you sort of yelp, Ouch! It is not that painful either. The third day somebody comes and presses your bruise and it still hurts a little so you go, Mmmm. That’s how painful it is. Remember that. It is just a little bit painful.

The operation lasts no more than 15 minutes and you go out with slightly unfocused eyesight but your eyes are clear, not red. You can see. Then you sit down on a wooden chair and get instructions on how you’re supposed to use your eyedrops. After that you get back into your streetclothes, pay your bill and go home. But you can’t use your eyes except to watch TV, to look around, and to get bored to death.

The painful part is putting your eyedrops in especially after two operations days apart when the first eye need the drops only four times a day and the more recently operated eye needs it every two hours. Those eyedrops can be painful.

But otherwise it is almost a pleasurable operation. And In the end you can see a few stars sparkling in the sky using only the weird white plastic glasses they give you to wear every day and through the night.

 It’s okay,  you look funky anyway.

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