Getting your affairs in order

One night, when I prayed, Lord, grant me a restful sleep and a peaceful death, the last petition suddenly flew on top of my head.  Peaceful, I repeated.  Goodness, what if I don’t wake up the next day?  Have I taken the time to plan and record information so that my children will not run around like headless chickens uninformed of how, what, when, and where to begin?  

We lost two relatives in a tragic accident years ago and in the midst of the maelstrom, we could not locate papers and documents that would have helped the family in settling so many issues all at once.  They didn’t bother to prepare any records, thinking they had a full life ahead to address that.  They spent years carving a comfortable future for their brood and yet the children went through a tough, punishing period trying to piece together whatever was left behind.  What if the children were minors? 

You cannot go back to set anything right or settle conflicts once you’re gone.  Whatever you write must be as simple as ABC so that no one would contest it or try to interpret it to suit anyone’s agenda.  If the question Capisce? was ever raised, the family must be able to give a clear-cut, indisputable, resounding Yes.   No ifs and buts.

My contemporaries say that we’re standing in the pre-departure area of our lives.  It would be wise to keep clear records now like a well-pressed, planchado suit.  When we board the final journey to Destination Divine — heaven, nirvana, moksha, paradise or whatever you conceive it to be — we can leave in peaceful calm and serenity.  Maybe, we would even detect the aching tone of grateful hearts.  This Record will also make it easy for children who live far and away from their parents to gather all the necessary info, at the time that they would need that help the most.  

Complete your Record by providing the following information:

1.  Your personal information sheet to include name, date and place of birth, current home address, phone, mobile, name of spouse and his/her personal information, SSS number, and name of employer and contact person; 

2.  A spouse page with similar information like the principal;

3.  Registry of children — name, date and place of birth, addresses/phones, if not the same as yours;

4.  Grandchildren and siblings on both sides with their respective dates and places of birth and contact addresses/phones;

5.  In case of emergency.  Put here the names and details of your close friends and close relatives who need to be immediately informed or have been authorized by you to initiate appropriate action; 

6.  Lawyers/executors of wills and trusts and living wills; 

7.  Physicians/dentist info, including list of prescribed pills and medicine, lab tests, blood type; and vets info, if you keep pets;

8.  Property insurance/broker.  Contact details;

9.  Personal finance information.  Bank details, personal banker’s/branch manager’s mobile phone, safety deposit boxes and where you keep the respective keys and who has access to these boxes;

10.  Credit card account numbers with maximum limit indicated, and ATM PINs;

11.  a) List of real estate properties and titles.  b) Automobiles/auto insurance. c) stocks, membership clubs, and copies of the respective stock certificates; d) a copy of your latest Income Tax Returns;

12.  Insurance benefits, addresses. and contact persons;

13.  Retirement benefits, its validity and who is the appointed beneficiary; 

There was this case where the mistresses got hold of the legal papers of the deceased principal and was able to file for SSS benefits.  Imagine the shock of the true and legal wife when she could not claim anything?

14.  Memorial and burial/interment plans and/or cremation plan;

15.  Final wishes.  Religious service — priest/pastor and contact details, church, clothes to be interred in, musical preference, obituary notice, including the portrait to be used at the vigil, catering, charity donations, etc.

A dear relative asked her daughter-in-law to handle her makeup, when the time comes.  “Make me look like I was just taking a nice, afternoon siesta,” she said.  When she passed on, she looked so beautiful and serene, at her loveliest, in fact, that made all of us smile contentedly.

16.  Miscellaneous info but important as well. I call this my wrap-up page containing an inventory list of every furniture, fixture, and equipment in the house and to whom it will be bequeathed.  Artifacts, paintings, teapots, carpets, old radios, books, CDs, DVDs, bags, shoes, vintage toys, art and craft material.  What else?

Don’t forget to leave instructions to close your e-mail accounts and social networking accounts, and provide the respective passwords.

A friend made a special request:  If she falls into a coma and if friends pay a visit in the hospital or at home, she wants everyone to recite the Rosary or the Divine Mercy Chaplet at the foot of her bed for the first 15 minutes of their visit, before they end up eating and chatting with each other.  She’s not taking any chances in filling up her Spiritual Basket. 

For those who believe in leaving nothing behind — “Darling, I’ve spent it all!” — or dying happy and broke, your worries are much less.  The truth is, there will always be something that you will have to leave behind.  Isn’t that our constant woe?  How we accumulate stuff too fast?   

Be fussy, be meticulous and write down everything you want to say.

Store this Record in a safe place but within the easy access of your children.  Tell them where it is kept.  Update it anytime and as often as you like.  

I admit that this task is a bore, but think of all the confusion and heartaches you would have averted.  Do it now.  Just once.       

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E-mail lettyjlopez@hotmail.com for a Records template that you can personalize.