What to do when your husband cheats

MANILA, Philippines - Infidelity among husbands is a common ground why many marriages are put to the test. And, sadly, because of unfaithfulness, many relationships end up in separation, while some continue to be on the rocks.

If you are a wife, the emotional burden can sometimes be unbearable, knowing that your husband is betraying your trust and breaking his vow. The intense surge of emotions, particularly anger, jealousy, depression, and hatred may compel you to act impulsively, thus making the situation more complicated. In the end, you still feel miserable.

Yes, it’s normal to get mad and hurt, but getting your emotions out of hand will do you no good either. You don’t have to lose your head and yourself. Prayer counselors from The 700 Club Counseling Center have some advice on how to deal with your husband’s infidelity.

• Get a grip of yourself. It all starts with a suspicion. Women’s instinct, they say. If your gut feel tells you something fishy is going on, don’t be hysterical. Instead, gather concrete evidence to prove that your husband is cheating on you. Keep your wits about you.

• Face and accept reality. When your suspicions are confirmed, you have to face the reality. Truth hurts, but when you learn to accept the fact, then and only then can you act on it.

• Evaluate yourself and your marriage. Ask yourself questions that will evaluate the kind of relationship you are sharing with your husband. Are you satisfying your husband’s needs? Are you being good to him? Are you doing your duties as a wife with gladness from your heart and not just because you feel obliged? Remember, marriage is a two-way relationship. You also have your role to play.

• Make efforts to serve your husband. This doesn’t mean you have to be a slave for your husband. Sometimes, all it takes is to make little efforts of love and appreciation. Even small things like preparing his breakfast, making coffee, or even cleaning his shoes and washing his clothes can make a big difference. You can touch your husband’s heart.

• Give him a reason to come back. If you want to win your husband back, never ever beg. Instead, give him more reasons to come back to you. The more you nag, the more he will stay away. The more you plead and cry, the more he will feel irritated.

• Get out of your shell. Self-pity is a no-no. Sulking in a corner won’t solve the problem. Yes, it’s okay to cry and to feel the pain, but making your life revolve around your hurts won’t help. Go out with your friends. Spend more time with your kids. Give yourself a treat. Do what you love doing or develop a hobby. Make yourself beautiful.

• Stay committed to the marriage. Don’t even think of revenge. That’s double jeopardy to your marriage. Even if your husband is being unfaithful, you still have your family to take care of.

• Ask for counsel. When your mind is clouded with so many emotions and thoughts, talking with a counselor will be a great help. The heaviness in your heart will be lessened as you pour out your pains and hurts. Counseling will ease your burdens and give you a clearer perspective on how to address your husband’s infidelity.

Confused with what to do with your husband? You are not alone. The 700 Club Counseling Center is here. With its well-trained prayer counselors available 24/7, you won’t have to carry the burden alone. Call 810-7717 / 810-7176 or toll free at 1-800-1-888-8700; text 0920-2228373 (Smart)/0917-4065001 (Globe)/0932-4492499 (Sun). E-mail prayer@cbnasia.org. Online chat: tsca.cbnasia (Yahoo! Messenger)/tscacbnasia (Skype).

The 700 Club Counseling Center is a ministry of the Christian Broadcasting Network Asia, producer of the daily inspirational show The 700 Club Asia.