The Old Reliables are incredible!

BEVERLY HILLS — In one of his hit starrers (was it Terminator?), former California Gov. Arnold Schwarzenegger uttered the now-classic remark after his character “terminated” a bunch of bad guys, “Nothing personal,” it’s just a job, you know (later “Tagalized” by the late Rudy Fernandez in his own starrer, “Walang personalan; trabaho lang!”).

The blurb of Expendables 2 heralds the return of the mercenaries with this warning: This time, it’s personal! Well, it’s all because when they are enlisted by Mr. Church (again played by Bruce Willis, a “special guest” like Schwarzenegger) for what they think is a simple demolition job, one of their own (I won’t say who) is killed and, as to be expected, all hell breaks loose!

The first Expendables stars Sylvester Stallone, Jason Statham, Jet Li, Dolph Lundgren, Randy Couture and Terry Crews who are in the sequel that has as new cast members Liam Hemsworth (the new Bench model, last seen in Hunger Games), Chinese actress Yu Nan and Hong Kong actor Scot Adkins, plus martial arts icons Chuck Norris and Jean-Claude van Damme (as the principal villain).

Directed by Simon West, Expendables 2 was also conceptualized by Stallone, co-produced by Lionsgate and Millennium Films, released locally (starting next Friday, Aug. 17) by Viva Films.

Funfare was in this city last week for the Expendables 2 junket at, as usual, the Four Seasons Hotel. The day before the print/TV interviews, a preview (a “must”; no preview attendance, no interview) was held specially for the accredited international press.

The Old Reliables are fully-recharged, “back for war” according to the blurb, and they are breathtakingly incredible as they filled up the private screening room with gunfire from start to finish, sweeping away the bad men with bullets the way housewives casually spray pesky mosquitoes and cockroaches with Baygon.

Fueled by superstar power, the movie is fun to watch because it doesn’t have any “artsy-fartsy” pretensions at all. In fact, it doesn’t take itself seriously and that’s what makes it so entertaining, balancing bang-bang-bang scenes with self-deprecating wit and humor. One big action scene is choreographed to the beat of a rock tune that sounds like the Beatles’ Twist & Shout.

Enter Schwarzenegger with his trademark Terminator smirk in extreme close-up: “I’m back!” Towards the end when he again says “I’m back!,” Stallone dismisses him with glee, “You’ve been back more than enough!”

Enter Norris silhouetted like Clint Eastwood in his cowboy days, the soundtrack blaring with that familiar tune from the Spaghetti Westerns. Very Clint Eastwood in The Good, The Bad & The Ugly.

At the end, with hundreds and hundreds of mal hombres sent to Kingdom Come, Bruce points to a war-torn fighter plane yonder and tells Stallone, “I have a gift for you.” Stallone shrugs, “It belongs to the museum!” Schwarzenegger has the last say, “Like all of us!”

Anyway, Funfare sat down with six of the Expendables (except Stallone who begged off because his son Sean, who died under mysterious circumstances, had just been buried a few days earlier). Here are three of them — Dolph Lundgren, Randy Couture and Terry Crews — and some sound bites:

Lundgren (completed military service in the Swedish Marine Corps, introduced in the 1985 James Bond film A View to a Kill): “Karate and physical fitness have kept me reasonably sane in a very tough and sometimes inhuman business.”

Couture (five-time World Champion and Hall of Famer in Mixed Martial Arts, on the return of raw action against CGI scenes): “The Expendables movies are a throwback to the ‘70s and ‘80s films that we all grew up on and that we were used to seeing — real, authentic action with less CGI.”

Crews (NFL football player): “This movie has some CGI scenes but in regards to our athleticism, it’s in full show — we have some of the best athletes together, doing what we do best.”

Lundgren: “I think people are getting tired of CGI and starting to look for the good old traditional action. Fortunately, we are a bunch of guys who can do our own stunts, we being boxers, fighters and body-builders.”

Couture (on working with Stallone, Schwarzenegger, Willis and Norris): “We had a great time between takes and I think it shows in the movie itself — you know, that we had a lot of fun doing it.”

Crews: “After 9/11, you can’t change the action-movie landscape just because I don’t believe one man can save the world anymore. We have become that one person. We know that we can’t do it alone. The best lesson that you get from Expendables is that you are not by yourself. But if you use what you have and he uses what he has, then we can hope to save the world together.”

Lundgren (on the Colorado Dark Knight shooting incident): “Things happen — you know, people getting killed in accidents and even just while crossing the street. It’s a complicated issue whether people have always been violent but thousands of years ago before movies were even made, there have been violent incidents. It’s part of human nature.”

Couture: “It’s unfortunate. That’s all I can say about it.”

Crews: “I love the comedy part of the movie. After all, people have known me for my comedic roles in the TV series Everybody Hates Chris.” (He also did a series of Old Spice commercials)

Lundgren: “To say that movies give birth to violence is, I think, wrong.”

Couture: “For me, the physical part of making movies is the easy part. I just retired from Mixed Martial Arts and I’m still in the best of shape of my life right now at age 48. But finding emotions and finding my way inside my character is really the more challenging and the most interesting part for me.”

Crews (on Norris): “You’re talking about one of the icons of action. I mean, in one of first martial arts films. This guy fought Bruce Lee!”

Lundgren (on how he spends his spare time): “I have sex with my girlfriend.” (Laughs!)

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