Advanced appreciation

A customer complained: “I experienced the WORST customer service today at a store downtown. I don’t want to mention the store’s name because I’m still determining how to proceed. Wednesday morning, I bought something from this store. I paid cash for it. I took it home and found out it didn’t work. So today, I returned it to the store and asked if I could get a refund. The girl in the store told me “NO” even though I still had the receipt. I want to get a replacement instead. Again, this person told me “NO.”

I asked to talk to a manager now as I was unhappy and explained that I had just bought the item and had got it home, and it didn’t work. The manager just smiled and told me to my face that I was “OUT OF LUCK.” No refund. No FREE replacement. I’ll tell you what. I am NEVER buying another lottery ticket from there again!”

So, how do you deal with customers like these?

Here is another funny transaction between a dentist and his businessman patient:

Dentist - “Try to relax. I’ll pull your aching tooth in five minutes.”

Patient - “How much will this cost?”

Dentist - “It’ll be five thousand pesos.”

Patient - “That much for just five minutes work?”

Dentist - “Well, if you prefer, I can pull it out very slowly.”

These are funny and fictional stories, but they stress that doing business is always complex. It involves complex transactions and interactions. Whether it’s the delivery personnel, customer service representatives, or store clerks, their reactions and attitudes can significantly impact the overall experience.

Imagine the appliance delivery personnel carrying a heavy refrigerator up a flight of stairs or two to deliver and install it in your place. We would not be surprised if these people became grumpy and complained a lot. As customers, we can be turned off by their negative disposition and reasoned that it is their job and are paid to do so, but this will only infuriate us further. Instead of engaging in potential confrontations, a simple expression of gratitude can turn the interaction around. What if we reframe our thinking? What if we consider these as honest people making a living and expressing our advanced appreciation for doing their job well? We can significantly impact their attitude and willingness to help.

I learned the concept of advanced appreciation from the legendary Zig Ziglar. In one of his books, he shares a personal experience where he and a friend were having dinner at a restaurant. Before ordering their meal, Ziglar’s friend discreetly handed the waiter a generous tip in advance. After enjoying their dinner, Ziglar noticed that the service they received from the waiter was exceptional. The waiter was attentive and kind and went above and beyond to ensure they had a pleasant dining experience.

Curious about this behavior, Ziglar asked the waiter why he provided such outstanding service. The waiter responded that when he received the tip in advance, he felt genuinely appreciated and valued as a person, not just as a service provider, and it made him want to reciprocate the kindness by providing the best service possible. By applying advanced appreciation and respect, treating others with kindness, and showing genuine appreciation and respect to those around us, we can create a positive impact and inspire others to perform at their best.

My friends wonder why I get exceptional service when I enter my frequently visited restaurants or coffee shops. They think it is because people know me due to my social media exposure, which may be in some instances, but mainly because I have learned to extend advanced appreciation to the people working hard to serve me.

Applying advance appreciation, we can put a positive label on someone’s role, thus reminding them of their importance and contribution to the service they provide. Such preference benefits the recipients and us, as it helps manage our emotions and reduce potential anxieties.

Now, let us bring this practice to another level. What about extending advanced appreciation to the people on our team? What would a company’s culture be like when leaders practice advanced appreciation?

It can be a game changer and can yield remarkable results. When we take a moment to thank others in advance for their assistance, we not only inspire excellence in their actions but also cultivate a culture of gratitude and positivity. We can inspire those around us by recognizing their contributions, no matter how big or small.

And so the next time you’re in a restaurant or coffee shop, show kindness and express advanced appreciation. And remember to leave a healthy and fat tip for the crew.

(Francis Kong’s podcast “Inspiring Excellence” is now available on Spotify, Apple, Google, or other podcast streaming platforms).