Tita Letty and her 'Purple Shades'

A couple of weeks ago, I got a call from Pinky Antonio, my co-parent from Poveda, asking if I would agree to host the book launch of her aunt, Letty Jacinto-Lopez. She said that, like me, her aunt was also a columnist of The Star.

I wasn’t sure if I was going to accept it, but something inside me said I should. You know that warm feeling in your heart that tells you it’s a good thing. And so I said yes. Pinky sent me the book so I could read it — Purple Shades.

When I got it, I immediately got drawn to its cover. Purple — my favorite color. I started reading and found out that I already had something in common with Letty. In the author’s note, she started by saying: “Whenever I finish reading a book, the same question would cross my mind, ‘Will I be able to write one?’ How many times had I asked myself that question?”

 I told myself, “Is this a coincidence? Is God trying to tell me something?” I knew He was and I also knew I was meant to host Letty’s book launch. I knew it was part of God’s plan for me. He allowed this because something special was going to happen.

The more I read, the more I felt a connection to her. I soon found out that we were both “purple junkies.” Purple was also her favorite color. I was transported back to my purple beginnings. The gown I wore on my debut was purple and lilac; invitations were purple, of course. During high school, all my stationeries were the same color. My room, oh my, by now you can already imagine how many shades of purple it had. How nice, I thought to myself, we love the same color. The more I knew I was meant to do this for her.

I kept on reading and was amazed at how wonderful a writer she was. Such easy reading, very warm and personal, very straight from the heart. I couldn’t put it down. I finished it in an hour! As someone who also writes, reading her book inspired me to continue writing, to continue sharing my thoughts, my heart, my soul.

Purple Shades is a compilation of the author’s most memorable articles with the same title of her weekly lifestyle column in The Star. It is a result of her personal experiences, love for music and her various trips and assignments abroad. She has classified them into interesting categories like Heart and Soul, stories to motivate and stir the heart; My Blood Runs Cold, with tales of faith and survival; Without a Song, where she shares stories that stem from her lyrical conviction; stories of strength and inspiration in Family Ties; and female influence in Women Rule.

From Heart and Soul, I particularly liked “How do you live your dash?” Let me share with you a poem someone sent to her.

A man stood to speak at the funeral of a friend. He referred to the dates on her tombstone, from beginning to the end. He noted that first, came the date of birth and second, was the date of demise. He spoke of the latter with tears. But he said what mattered most was the “dash” between those years: 1946-2006.

It made me think. Have I been living my life well? Am I doing enough? It will make you think of what is truly important. Not your riches or your material possessions but how you lived your life.

When it is time for us to meet our Creator, when family and friends go to our wake, what will they say about our “dash”? How did we spend that little line? Letty is surely spending it with what really matters.

I have vowed to make sure I spend mine with “gusto.” To live my best life.

She also shares about a recent trip to Singapore with her three-year-old grandson. She promised to see the world through his eyes, as he sees it, at his own pace. She said it took them two hours to walk through Orchard Road because every five minutes, he would stop to check his shadow. He would stop and watch the snail and wait for it to shed its shell. He asked why it couldn’t leave its shell behind. And Letty replied that like the turtle, he brings his whole house.

From Family Ties, I liked “Lessons my mother taught me.” As I read it, it was as if I heard my mother’s voice in my ear. Her words of love and encouragement. After a heartbreak many years ago, after hours of crying my heart out, my mom said, “Jacqui, tomorrow is another day. The sun will shine and I want you to be there to see it. But if you wake up and you still want to cry, I’ll be there with you and we can still watch the beautiful sun rise and set.” To this day whenever I am in a trying situation, this is still the voice I hear. This is how I have survived all the bumps in my life. Knowing that I’ll have tomorrow; knowing my mom was right and is still right to this day.

Letty shares one of the lessons her mother taught her. When she was allowed to attend the debut of her classmate, her mother sent her off with a hug and a smile, but with a reminder, “Huwag masyadong masaya.” She explains that to her mother, there was the risk of losing control when you were too happy.

 At the party, when everyone was laughing, dancing and drinking, Letty also heard her mother’s voice whispering, “Remember, not too much...” That’s when she realized her mother was right. One could enjoy the moment without losing one’s head.

In her category Women Rule, I like “Personal Space: A Woman Needs One,” “What every woman should have,” “Let it go” and “All ye Purple People Read This.”

In “Personal Space, A woman needs one,” Letty says personal space is a hideaway that is not far and unreachable. It is about peace and serenity. I agree. It is a place you can go to and feel at peace with yourself and with the world. A place that will always make your heart feel warm. A place you can go to and always feel special.

In “What every woman should have,” here are some of what I will share with you. Not everything as I want to save a lot for you for when you read it.

A woman should have...

An old love she can imagine going back to, and one who reminds her how far she has come;

Something perfect to wear if the date of her dreams wants to see her in an hour;

One friend who always makes her laugh and one who lets her cry.

To complement this, she also has a list of the things she believes every woman should know. Here are some that I like.

How to quit a job, break up with a lover, and confront a friend without ruining the friendship.

That she can’t change the length of her calves, the width of her hips, or the nature of her parents.

Whom she can trust, whom she can’t, and why she shouldn’t take it personally.

The rest you’ll need to find out for yourselves.

In “Let it go,” this is about what she had to let go as she prepared to move houses. She talks of shoes, cards, letters, magazines and journals. She knew she had to throw some away and also realized she needed to let go of things and people that could damage her essence and spirit.

Allow me to share some of them with you.

Let go of people who can’t treat you right, love you back or see your worth.

Let go of past hurts and pains or someone who has angered you.

Let go of a job that no longer meets your needs or talents.

I, too, did my own “letting go.” I went through my clothes and realized I had so much I hadn’t worn in a long time. As I put each garment in a box to be given away, in an instant, I felt lighter and better like a load was lifted off my shoulders.

Letting go of the material things made me realize I needed to also let go of hurts, disappointments and even anger. For those I will have a hard time letting go of, I pray to God and tell Him that I choose to let them go, trusting in His power and love for me.

Being free of anger, hurts and pains reminds me of the truth that God wants me to live my best life, a life free of anger and pain, a life filled with joy and forgiveness of self and others.

In “All ye Purple People Read this,” I feel Tita Letty wrote this especially for me. She speaks of Frank Sinatra singing to young lovers buying “violets for her furs,” Elizabeth Taylor’s violet eyes, Vincent Van Gogh’s painting of irises and most especially her darling grandson’s toys of Barney, the purple dinosaur.

But what struck me the most was when she says that the color purple shouts the need for every individual to be loved, in various degrees or various shades.

Reading her book was already such a beautiful experience, but meeting her was so much more than that. I met a lovely petite lady wearing a lilac blouse with purple pants and shoes, a lady with such a charming smile. I immediately warmed up to her, gave her a hug and told her how happy I was to be hosting her book launch. She was so gracious and warm. The same feeling I got from reading her book — warm, personal and straight from the heart. That’s exactly how meeting her made me feel. The connections I felt while reading her book now made perfect sense.

Thank you Pinky for choosing me. Thank you Tita Letty for the joy of meeting you. Thank you for sharing all your wonderful experiences that come with your wisdom. Thank you for reminding me to make sure my “dash” is spent well. Thank you for reminding me how lucky I am to have a mom like mine and that I should always value and appreciate her.

You are an answered prayer. I had been struggling with my writing for some time. Sometimes I would look for the passion or inspiration and it wouldn’t be there. I prayed to God to bring back that passion because I wanted so much to write again.

He heard me like He always does. He made sure I’d get to meet you. That something inside of me saying I should because it’s a good thing, that was God’s voice. He made sure I heard Him.

Then I read your words, your thoughts, your wisdom, your beautiful heart. You gave me back that passion.

Thank you, Tita Letty. I am forever grateful. Thank you for sharing the Purple Shades of your heart.

From my heart to yours, thank you. A million thanks to you.