What type of geek are you?
MANILA, Philippines - Over time, the geek has considerably branched out. Some have remained CSS and HTML wizards, while others have embraced pop culture, also known as the act of knowing too much about Beyoncé (and then Solange), The Walking Dead, or pasta making — from scratch. There are just so many things you can deep-dive into these days, especially with Google as your slave. And unlike the negative connotation of nerd, which implies the same level of knowledge geeks have minus any social skills, the modern geek deserves a rethink.
If you’re a geek about anything, it pays to find out what kind you really are. Here are the nine types of geeks you might meet in Manila:
Poser geek
Popular culture made it cool to be a geek. Posers are people who jump on the bandwagon and know nothing about what they’re posing to be interested in. Have you ever met a guy wearing a CBGB shirt but had no idea what it was? Or someone who gets a tribal tattoo without knowing what tribe? These geeks in disguise are impostors! Frauds, fakes, counterfeit, bootleg. If geeks were sold in stores this one would be sold in Greenhills.
Health geek
An apple a day. Diet. Rules. Calories. Carbohydrates. Reps. BMI. Just do it. Quitters never win. Organic. Greens. Muscles. Calisthenics. Nutrition. Triathlon. Ironman. Fitness. Training. Gym. Wheatgrass. Sprouts. Smoothie. Steamed vegetables. Supplements. Straight edge. Your body is a temple. Yoga. No pain, no gain. Tofu. Juicer. Vitamins. Minerals. Pressure. Motivation. Sweat. Boosters. Clean. Cut. Perfect.
Broadway geek
The Broadway or musical geek is the type of person who scolds you for never seeing Cats. “YOU’VE NEVER SEEN CATS?!” You didn’t notice their existence until Glee became popular. They have Lea Salonga vibes written all over them and there is no doubt that they sing On My Own in the shower. The Broadway geek often dreams of days when one can walk outside, say “good morning,” and break out into song with the whole neighborhood. The 20th anniversary concert tour of Rent is coming up. Guess who already has tickets?
Otaku geek
Otakus live in a fantasy anime world where eyes are wider and hair more colorful. When not watching Neon Genesis Evangelion, reading Erica Sakurazawa manga, dusting a Gundam figurine, cosplaying Naruto, or playing Final Fantasy VII, they are sleeping in their colorful Japanese shrine of a bedroom. This geek will Death Note you if you call Yusuke Urameshi from Yu Yu Hakusho’s Eugene then will fly away with Totoro to meet up with Danny Choo on Twitter.
Foodie geek
When not eating, the foodie spends most of his or her time watching the Food Network. They #foodstagram every single meal and it is not unlikely that they have a collection of menus and coasters from all the restaurants they’ve ever eaten at. They’ll eat anything from five-star cuisine restaurants to street food. It’s not enough that they enjoy the food they’re eating but they like to know everything about what they’re eating. They’ll chat it up with a chef every chance they get to test their knowledge of ingredients, “I noticed a little Chervil in that sauce. Excellent!” Whether or not they know how to cook is a different story.
Hybrid stereotype geek
There are a lot of cool things in this world and you’d be missing out if you were into just one thing. Hybrid geeks are into almost everything a stereotypical geek is supposed to like: Dungeons and Dragons, Magic: The Gathering, The DC Universe, Star Wars, Sam Raimi, Metal Gear Solid, Warcraft, N.A.S.A., NBA in the ‘90s, VH1 Behind-The-Music, Import Tuner, Lord of the Rings, etc. An all-in-one know-it-all. This is the geek you want on your team if you ever join Geek Fight Night. They are well-rounded and know everything about anything geeky, even glass blowing on trains.
Fashion geek
Most people just wear clothes; this geek knows about it. They are always ahead of the trends, look good 24/7, and get mad hype on Lookbook. While sports geeks have fantasy teams, fashion geeks have fantasy brand “x” designer collaborations. One of them is coming true. They cannot wait to stand in line for H&M x Margiela on Nov. 15 in Hong Kong. But first, must acquire jewels to replicate a Christian Lacroix jacket for a Halloween costume — Vogue’s November 1988 cover.
Taboo geek
You know how “sex sells”? This is the person who buys it. It’s tough naming this geek because in mainstream society he is simply referred to as a pervert but for this article we will refer to him as a taboo geek. This geek is obsessed with sex, knows the history of bold films, and roams as a failed pickup artist. It’s somewhat normal to watch porn nowadays but this geek goes the extra mile with his knowledge of the industry, going as far as calling it “art.” He knows all the bars that still hold wet T-shirt contests and hangs out in spas to cool down after a long day. The taboo geek aspires to make a sex tape that will go viral to cement himself in the history of famous perverts. Also known as a “creep.”
Memer geek
Oh Hai! All your bases belong to this geek. O RLY? He/she relates to the world through Internet memes and types really fast like in the movie Hackers. You Don’t Say? They try to caption everything and are always on the lookout for Epic Fails on 4chan, 9gag, Tumblr, Reddit. They say LOL instead of laughing out loud when something is funny and FFFFFFFUUUUUU when in rage. Mainstream, Y U NO UNDERSTAND MEMES? YOU MAD BRO?
