Grave reminders on All Saints’ Day
November 1, 2005 | 12:00am
Are you going to the cemetery/memorial park/columbarium today? If you haven’t gone yet, here are some grave (pardon the pun) reminders to take with you as you remember your dear departed on All Saints’ Day, courtesy of the Ecological Waste Coalition:
• Don’t be a litter carrier. Do not litter, dump or burn your discards. Bring your waste home and put your biodegradable and non- biodegradable discards into their proper bins for recycling and composting.
• Think before you drink. Avoid using styrofor or plastic disposables for your food and drinks. Instead, use banana leaves or reusable containers, pitchers, and cups.
• Lighten up on candles. Light just enough candles to save on energy and minimize pollution. Refrain from using candles that produce excessive soot that can aggravate respiratory illnesses. Steer clear of candles with metal wicks, which may contain harmful chemicals such as lead.
• Learn how to be a master wrapper. Refrain from bringing artificial flowers and floral arrangements with unnecessary decorative ribbon and plastic wrap, which do not decompose and only end up in dumps or clog the drains and rivers. If needed, wrap your flowers in banana leaves or used newspaper or magazine.
• Omit flowers. Offer prayers of gratitude and remembrance to your departed ones. Prayers are said to be the best way of thanking and honoring the people we value and love, and they cause no garbage or pollution.
Families, especially those who spend the whole day at the cemetery, are likewise enjoined to try alternative "fun" activities that teach both the young and old about the value of ecologically managing our discards (for example: a game to collect recyclables or an activity that will create decorative or functional crafts from used materials).
FYI, the Ecological Waste Coalition is a network of groups that’s got their noses buried deep in waste and pollution issues. Wasting no time, it anticipates the increased waste usually generated during public holidays, compounding the country’s mounting garbage woes, and putting public health and the environment at risk.
As you and I know, Filipinos from all walks of life troop to the cemeteries to remember their dear departed, usually bringing flowers, candles, and even food and drinks (some as offerings for the dead and the rest for the living). Inevitably, cemeteries are transformed into picnic grounds, nay, dumps for mixed waste due to irresponsbile consumption and thoughtless disposal. The cemetery grounds and every nook and cranny are littered with food leftovers, plastic bags and wrappers, styro containers, soiled paper, cigarette butts, etc. A morbid sight, indeed! The Coalition notes that there is hardly any functioning system to cope with the biodegradable and non-biodegradable discards in our extremely congested cemeteries.
"This is a great day of remembrance, not a day to litter the resting place of our departed ones," asserts Eileen Sison, chair of the Eco Waste Coalition. "We can surely observe this day in a simple but meaningful way that will not yield waste. So as not to repeat the Payatas tragedy that took the lives of so many people, let us refrain from wasting and ecologically manage our discards without dumping or burning."
For more information, call the Coalition Secretariat at 929-0376. And one last reminder: Don’t throw away this number!
Death – it’s too morbid a word to even mention to children. Indeed, how do you talk to children about death? Did you watch this 1994 movie titled Corrina, Corrina? Well, Corrina Washington (Whoopi Goldberg breathes life into this role) is hired as a housekeeper in the Singer home, following the death of Manny Singer’s wife. Of course, Corrina does more than keep house without losing her sanity. But it isn’t helping her any that her young ward Molly has become mute and withdrawn as a result of her mother’s untimely death. When Corrina is finally able to coax Molly out of her shell, the wide-eyed Molly begins to ask, "Where did Mommy go?"
"She’s in the bathtub," goes Manny Singer’s reply to his precious little daughter’s question.
Of course, we know she’s not, but Manny Singer didn’t know any better.
Says the Center for Effective Parenting in Arkansas, "Many parents simply don’t know how to explain death to their children. Finding the right words and the right answers to all of the questions children have about death (and for that matter, about life) is not an easy task for any parent."
Because death, like taxes, is inevitable, "it is a good idea for parents to discuss death with their children before it hits close to home." Here’s how, according to the Center for Effective Parenting:
• Warn children of grave illnesses. When a family member or someone close to the family is seriously ill, parents should tell their children about it before death occurs. Death changes a lot of things and children should be involved in those changes, not alienated. Parents should tell their children what is going on and why they are sad and acting differently.
• Define "dead" in clear and simple terms. Parents should explain to their kids what death means, that a dead person won’t be able to do things he/she once did, like breathe, walk, talk.
• Avoid casual explanations. Don’t tell your child that someone died because he was sick as this may lead the child to believe that he will also die when he gets sick. Also, don’t tell your child, "Grandma went to sleep and will not wake up." This may cause the child to be afraid of going to sleep because he may not wake up. Instead, use words like, yes, "dead," "stopped working," and "wore out." These simple words help establish the fact that the body is biologically dead.
• Fit the explanation to the children. Parents should consider their children’s level of development and what they already know about death before talking to their children about death. Of course, when talking to your children, keep it simple and factual.
• Be honest. Don’t tell half-truths because even kids as young as three years old can sense when they’re being lied to. More, they may sense a cover-up and end up getting scared of the unknown.
• Include the children. Let your children grieve with the family as they’re hurting as much as you. Don’t send them away to a neighbor or a family friend. It is at this time that they need the love and support of family and friends.
• Don’t hide your own grief. Parents should let their children know why they are sad and reassure them that they are not the cause of the sadness. However, parents should not turn to their children for emotional crutch. They should let their children grieve without feeling responsible for supporting grieving parents.
• Reassure. Confronting death for the first time, children may become concerned about their own death or that of their parents. Parents should reassure their children that while no one knows for sure when death will come, it will probably not come in a long, long time. And that they will be around for a long, long time for their children.
We’d love to hear from you. E-mail us at ching_alano@yahoo.com.
• Don’t be a litter carrier. Do not litter, dump or burn your discards. Bring your waste home and put your biodegradable and non- biodegradable discards into their proper bins for recycling and composting.
• Think before you drink. Avoid using styrofor or plastic disposables for your food and drinks. Instead, use banana leaves or reusable containers, pitchers, and cups.
• Lighten up on candles. Light just enough candles to save on energy and minimize pollution. Refrain from using candles that produce excessive soot that can aggravate respiratory illnesses. Steer clear of candles with metal wicks, which may contain harmful chemicals such as lead.
• Learn how to be a master wrapper. Refrain from bringing artificial flowers and floral arrangements with unnecessary decorative ribbon and plastic wrap, which do not decompose and only end up in dumps or clog the drains and rivers. If needed, wrap your flowers in banana leaves or used newspaper or magazine.
• Omit flowers. Offer prayers of gratitude and remembrance to your departed ones. Prayers are said to be the best way of thanking and honoring the people we value and love, and they cause no garbage or pollution.
Families, especially those who spend the whole day at the cemetery, are likewise enjoined to try alternative "fun" activities that teach both the young and old about the value of ecologically managing our discards (for example: a game to collect recyclables or an activity that will create decorative or functional crafts from used materials).
FYI, the Ecological Waste Coalition is a network of groups that’s got their noses buried deep in waste and pollution issues. Wasting no time, it anticipates the increased waste usually generated during public holidays, compounding the country’s mounting garbage woes, and putting public health and the environment at risk.
As you and I know, Filipinos from all walks of life troop to the cemeteries to remember their dear departed, usually bringing flowers, candles, and even food and drinks (some as offerings for the dead and the rest for the living). Inevitably, cemeteries are transformed into picnic grounds, nay, dumps for mixed waste due to irresponsbile consumption and thoughtless disposal. The cemetery grounds and every nook and cranny are littered with food leftovers, plastic bags and wrappers, styro containers, soiled paper, cigarette butts, etc. A morbid sight, indeed! The Coalition notes that there is hardly any functioning system to cope with the biodegradable and non-biodegradable discards in our extremely congested cemeteries.
"This is a great day of remembrance, not a day to litter the resting place of our departed ones," asserts Eileen Sison, chair of the Eco Waste Coalition. "We can surely observe this day in a simple but meaningful way that will not yield waste. So as not to repeat the Payatas tragedy that took the lives of so many people, let us refrain from wasting and ecologically manage our discards without dumping or burning."
For more information, call the Coalition Secretariat at 929-0376. And one last reminder: Don’t throw away this number!
"She’s in the bathtub," goes Manny Singer’s reply to his precious little daughter’s question.
Of course, we know she’s not, but Manny Singer didn’t know any better.
Says the Center for Effective Parenting in Arkansas, "Many parents simply don’t know how to explain death to their children. Finding the right words and the right answers to all of the questions children have about death (and for that matter, about life) is not an easy task for any parent."
Because death, like taxes, is inevitable, "it is a good idea for parents to discuss death with their children before it hits close to home." Here’s how, according to the Center for Effective Parenting:
• Warn children of grave illnesses. When a family member or someone close to the family is seriously ill, parents should tell their children about it before death occurs. Death changes a lot of things and children should be involved in those changes, not alienated. Parents should tell their children what is going on and why they are sad and acting differently.
• Define "dead" in clear and simple terms. Parents should explain to their kids what death means, that a dead person won’t be able to do things he/she once did, like breathe, walk, talk.
• Avoid casual explanations. Don’t tell your child that someone died because he was sick as this may lead the child to believe that he will also die when he gets sick. Also, don’t tell your child, "Grandma went to sleep and will not wake up." This may cause the child to be afraid of going to sleep because he may not wake up. Instead, use words like, yes, "dead," "stopped working," and "wore out." These simple words help establish the fact that the body is biologically dead.
• Fit the explanation to the children. Parents should consider their children’s level of development and what they already know about death before talking to their children about death. Of course, when talking to your children, keep it simple and factual.
• Be honest. Don’t tell half-truths because even kids as young as three years old can sense when they’re being lied to. More, they may sense a cover-up and end up getting scared of the unknown.
• Include the children. Let your children grieve with the family as they’re hurting as much as you. Don’t send them away to a neighbor or a family friend. It is at this time that they need the love and support of family and friends.
• Don’t hide your own grief. Parents should let their children know why they are sad and reassure them that they are not the cause of the sadness. However, parents should not turn to their children for emotional crutch. They should let their children grieve without feeling responsible for supporting grieving parents.
• Reassure. Confronting death for the first time, children may become concerned about their own death or that of their parents. Parents should reassure their children that while no one knows for sure when death will come, it will probably not come in a long, long time. And that they will be around for a long, long time for their children.
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