Concealer (and other male makeup secrets)

It is commonplace to find men in dermatologists’ clinics nowadays. They sit in waiting rooms along with women, queued up for their faces to be picked and pricked. Nobody talks; everybody minds his or her own business. Best that way; nobody wants information on what might be lurking in another’s pores. 

Except this one time. I was in a cubicle next to a man.  Separated only by heavy drapes, I heard every single thing that went on — his breathing included. He was having Botox injected into his face, as I gathered from his conversation with the nurse who applied MLa: a topical anesthetic and from his conversations with the derma who stepped in to do the job sometime later.  Here’s how it went:

 Doctor: Hi, how are you? 

 Male patient: Doc, is it gonna hurt?

 Doctor: Just slightly — only the initial prick. You’re numb around the area now. Relax. So, how are things? How’s business?

 Male patient: No, really. How much is it gonna hurt? Will it look okay? I mean, after? I don’t want to look like Barry Manilow.

 Me (thinking): This dude must be old — using Barry Manilow as a reference point. Hmmm...

 Male patient: I’m tired of using my wife’s creams when she’s not there. Too much work. And I forget most of the time. She’s complaining. She thinks the maid uses her stuff. Heard this is painful. Is it?  Expensive but one time only...

 Doctor: Just relax. Deep breaths and blow out. Relax your forehead. Here we go…

 Male patient: Aray!

 Taking care of one’s skin is a matter of life and death — ask any woman. It used to be that men pooh-poohed the issue but with all the to-do about looking good and delaying if not altogether reversing the aging process, more and more men have jumped on the bandwagon. 

 If you’re too chicken and too cheap for something as drastic as Botox injections and too shy to brave cosmetic counters to purchase your own man-beauty products, there is an alternative, as the male patient admitted — pilfer from your lady!

 According to a survey by the men’s website groominglounge.com: “Seven out of 10 men admit they use women’s beauty products as part of their daily routine.”

 “It doesn’t matter if it’s geared towards women or geared towards men,” said Pirooz Sarshar of Grooming Lounge. “If it performs well, they are going to keep on using it.”

 According to the article, even tough guys on the mean streets of New York admit to indulging in an array of guilty pleasures, from exfoliating scrubs to women’s shaving cream. 

  Men’s skin and women’s skin do have some key differences but experts believe that as long as skin care products are good quality, they are suitable for either gender. So, your only real concern is getting caught with your hand in her night cream jar.

 Here is a list of things you may swipe off of a partner’s dresser:

 Moisturizer.  As the saying goes, the cardinal rules for staying youthful are: moisturize, moisturize, moisturize. No brainer here: use her night cream before bedtime and her moisturizer for the day — preferably with a high SPF sunscreen (SPF 20 and above). Men have thicker skin but they are no less sensitive to sun damage than women’s skin. 

 Tip: scoop out a dime-sized dollop of cream and warm it up in your fingers by gently rubbing them together before applying on your face. The skin absorbs the cream more readily this way.

 Please don’t use body lotion for your face. It has a different formulation, therefore it’s less suitable. Use it for your body — hands, elbows, feet especially.

 Lip Balm. Just as your face needs to be moisturized your lips need it too. Make it a habit to apply lip balm as much as you can. Again, use one with sunscreen in it.

 Facial Cleanser. No, the hand soap on your sink is not suitable for your face, and neither is laundry detergent. You are better off with your partner’s facial wash. Men may think they need something tough to scour the grime off of their faces but according to Grooming Lounge, this is not the case. There is another product specifically for that purpose. A daily facial cleanser meant to be used a couple of times a day must be gentle.

 Facial Scrub. This is the product that will exfoliate all the grime and gunk from your face. Your partner surely has got one of these, so go ahead and use it on a weekly basis to slough off dead skin cells and make your skin softer and more supple — if at all possible.  Kidding!

 These next two items may be a bit “out there” for most men but imagine having had a late night of hard partying. Upon waking up you head to the bathroom and as you glance at the mirror you spot someone whose face is ashen with deep dark under-eye circles and looking old and tired. Guess what? That’s you. It is during these times that you need to do what women are so great at: cheat!

 No, not like that. Cheat on your ghastly complexion by using the wonder of all wonders: the tinted moisturizer and the concealer. You’re right: it’s not macho. But it works — like magic.

 Tinted Moisturizer. Let’s get one thing straight: this is not foundation. No need to get all whiney about it.  It’s a close cousin but not quite so, you’re safe. It is exactly like it sounds — a moisturizer with color pigments added to match your skin tone. This way, there’s some camouflaging effect to hide away the evidence of last night’s debauchery. Tinted moisturizers are meant to subtly cover unevenness and blemishes in one’s complexion. No, it’s not at all cakey and it will disappear into the skin once applied.

 Concealer. Don’t have a seizure: it’s not what you think. Yes, maybe it’s as radical as tinted moisturizer, if not a little more but, again, it does work wonders. If you’re queasy about using concealer, guys, reserve it for when you really need to look your very best — say, for a hot date or every day, if you have neglected your skin all your life up till now.

 “I have got a lot of guys hooked on concealer,” says Adir Yotam, a makeup artist who works with brands ranging from Nars to Sonia Kashuk at Target, according to an online article by correspondent Beatrice Aidin. 

 Using concealer takes a bit of skill. After washing your face, apply a light layer of facial moisturizer. Make sure you put some around the eyes and the areas where you need it, as this will be the base, otherwise the concealer might end up with crevices that won’t blend well into your skin. Ten minutes later, dab concealer into your finger and pat down on the areas you want covered. 

 “The key is to blend, blend, blend,” explains Yotam. If the concealer looks at all cakey, apply a smidgen of moisturizer to dilute the effect.

 Think this is all un-butch and very un-James Bond? Well, try to find a Hollywood star or a GQ cover model that doesn’t wear concealer. Even Daniel Craig wears it for his James Bond movies — seriously!

If anyone catches you using this stuff, just say exactly that — “Even James Bond uses it!” — and the conversation should move along pretty quickly.

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Thank you for your letters. You may reach me at cecilelilles@yahoo.com.