Welcome home our dear departed

Once there was a way
To get back homeward.
Once there was a way
To get back home.

– Golden Slumbers, The Beatles

Tonight, while the rest of the world is either "spooking" one another in Halloween parties or "reuniting" with their dear departed in the cemeteries or memorial parks, we’ll have our own little "celebration" in the quietness of our home in Fairview.

We couldn’t take the 18-hour aircon bus trip to Las Navas, Northern Samar, to personally light candles at the graves of our mom and dad, Manoy Rudy and Netoy (whose ashes have been preserved in a bronze box placed at a small altar at his widow and daughter’s humble home in Digos, Davao), but we’ll make up for it in some way.

Yes, we’ll lay a buffet "feast" for our expected "visitors" tonight when, according to the old folks, the dead get a "pass" out of heaven to pay those they had left behind a visit on the eve of the one day of the year when the whole world honors the dead.

It was Susan Roces (good-humoredly referred to by friends as "the future First Lady") who taught me how to welcome back our dear departed on this their special day. We are preparing our mom Remedios’ favorite goodies, including suman (slightly salted), sinangdayan (Waray rice cookies), tinolang talakitok, fragrant rice, native chocolate, ginataang langka (spiced up with shreds of tamban/daing) and other delicacies which our poor mom couldn’t eat, even if she wanted very much to, during her terminal hospitalization last year, her 81-year-old body unable to endure – or survive – the complications of pneumonia and renal failure.

Tonight, Nanay – and Papa and Manoy Rudy and Netoy and all the guests they want to tag along with them – will have their fill of those goodies that we prepared with all the love and care from our hearts. Nanay has been away for 386 days now (she died on Oct. 10 last year) and we’re sure that she’s craving for her favorite food she can’t possibly find even if she looks in every nook and cranny of heaven where I’m sure she is now.

"Before midnight," Susan Roces reminded me, "stick lighted candles on the ground from the gate to the door. Those candles should lead your Nanay and company to your house."

And straight to the dining room where the "feast" is waiting for her (and company). We’ll display the old photos of Nanay, Papa, Manoy Rudy and Netoy on the same round dining table where, in life, she took every simple meal as if it were a "feast". We’ll arrange the goodies around those pictures (see how beautiful and full of life they look!) and we’ll light four candles which, I’m sure, will brighten the way back for Nanay, Papa, Manoy Rudy and Netoy when they float back to heaven burping. We’ll insist that they "take home" the leftovers. We will insist they do.

Welcome back, Nanay!

Bon appetit!

Letter From Jackie M

Meanwhile, here’s a timely letter from my friend Jackie Maniquis (PR for, among other talents, Gary Valenciano) who lost her own mom very recently:

Dear Ricky,

My siblings and I have been taking care of our mother ever since my brother found her unconscious four years ago due to renal failure. Since then, she had to have dialysis three times a week until the time she passed away which was Oct. 21, Tuesday, last week.

As Ulyses Lao said in his letter to you, learning to mourn and letting go is really very hard. For the past year, Mom had been in a lot of pain. It hurt us to see her suffering so. It was such a pain for us to see this wonderful woman, who had touched so many people’s lives with her kindness, generosity, warmth and love just lay in bed unable to do anything. She was such an active person. Our house was a second home to our friends and cousins. Mommy was a second mother to our classmates, barkada and cousins.

We saw her through her sufferings and pain and during her last week here, through her eyes she would beg us to remove the respirator which kept her alive so she can rest. Our prayers then were for the Lord to bring her home to His kingdom. All our friends were praying for Mommy. There were prayer warriors led by good friends Angeli Valenciano, Ethel Timbol and Raquel Hizon. The Lord was our pillar of strength during those times and our friends provided additional strength. I was like a zombie and only through words of encouragement and text messages was I able to get through.

And, as the Manoling Morato’s song goes, yes, we will always see Mommy in our dreams. Her warm smile, her tender eyes, and we know that she will always be our light and our guide until we meet her again.

May I also then take this opportunity to thank you for grieving with us and thank also all our friends who condoled with us in our moments of grief.

Thank you, Ricky, and God bless!

– Jackie Maniquis

Poem For A Mom Gone Too Soon

Poem For A Mom Gone Too Soon I want to end today’s column with the following poem written by STAR deskman Felix delos Santos for his mom, Teodocia delos Santos y Rances, who died of cancer of the lymph nodes a few years back at age 64. "She was in terrible pain but we never heard her complain," said Felix. "I miss her so much, too."

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