The gray dot

I woke up to see a small gray dot at the periphery of my vision. It remained there, whichever way I looked, even as I blinked. It was annoying! A nuisance!

 Eye floaters, explained by Google, are “clumps or specs of undissolved vitreous gel material floating at the back of the eye, casting shadows on the retina when light enters the eye.” My eye doctor said it was part of aging (!!!), and partly due to long hours of computer work, and being in dry, cold areas like airplanes and air-conditioned rooms. She gave me an eye lubricant and to still my apprehension, told me that hopefully it would go away. She said that for as long as I could live with it and didn’t get bothered by it, then I was OK.

My annoyance with it actually ended when I left it alone, stopped moving to focus on it, and just forgot about it. But this eye floater kept coming back with a message for the whole week. Whenever an emotional situation arose due to a relationship (family or business) I could not change, and which got me angry and frustrated, the eye floater became too obvious. I would see it all the time! It was so annoying. When I stepped back from the wild, negative emotions, I could see the situation from an expanded, bigger perspective. I would relax my vision and the floater would disappear.

In my study and practice of yoga, I have learned that life is a drama, a beautiful drama. A wonderful one even, one that has to be played out sincerely, consciously and devotedly. There can be two perspectives by which we see our lives. We can see from the full unobstructed view, or through the floaters of our peripheral vision.

There is that part of us called the ego personality that creates and likes to stay in all these dramas. We put attention and energy on our rejections, losses and betrayals; our sense of isolation, alienation and separation; our fears that we are never good enough. Our ego gets bruised and our pride forces us to fight back and retaliate.

Our thoughts are the blueprints of our lives we are constructing. When we focus on where we put the energy on what kind of thoughts we want to think of, we create situations that make them happen. So focusing on the negative will bring a negative situation, while positive attracts the same positive energies and people.

I liken these eye floaters to the dramas in our lives, the dramas created by our ego personality. These are the dramas where we pay too much unconscious attention to and which give us pain, and by which we suffer. And still we put so much attention on it.

Practicing non-attachment, drama stays low and peace stays high. I love the phrases that can be linked to this: “Don’t take it too personal!” or “You own it but don’t let it own you!”  And here’s what the ultimate Master, Yoga Guru said, “Father, forgive them for they know not what they do.” This non-attachment is not about disengaging from life, but to enter life deeply so we can grow in wisdom and thus, see the dramas of life from an elevated, expanded perspective.

We should put energy into what is important. The less drama we have in our daily life, the more time we will have to spend on doing the things we love, enjoy and aspire for. In detached involvement with contemplation. In active engagement with a compassionate heart.

That dot in my eye, floating in the periphery of my vision, is now my constant reminder of this. When I see it, it reminds me to step back. And see all the situations of my life from the expanded full perspective, with gratefulness as I witness the beauty of what is there, arising at the moment.