I love reptiles!

This is the first column on something that I have been so passionate about since I was young.

My initial reptile was a reticulated python bought from Cartimar many Christmases ago with hard earned aguinaldo money. I fondly remember the first time I saw my juvenile sawa with its glimmering golden skin, beady eyes and forked tongue that devilishly darted back and forth inside its filthy enclosure on that lovely yuletide morning. I was so excited when I brought the python home but it was to the consternation of family who like most uninformed folks, had a natural aversion to these seemingly salacious creatures. How could I blame them when snakes and reptiles are in the bottom rung of the bad PR ladder! After all, Satan in the Garden of Eden was represented by a snake, while the Godzilla of my dad’s era was an Iguanid monster that sowed terror on the hapless Japanese, and Tarzan constantly wrestled with a mean crocodile!

Being a non-conformist and with all my friends having cute pet dogs and cats, I went for the extreme: Snakes and other creepy crawlies! That initial purchase grew into a collection that has become a virtual reptile zoo! I have had the pleasure of taking care of Sulcata Tortoises, Giant Monitor Lizards, Blue Tongued Skinks, Chameleons, Boa Constrictors, Alligators, Geckos and others.

I plan to devote this column to articles on reptiles and other exotic pets which more and more people are beginning to understand and care for. Even my matrimonial ninang Kris Aquino, who used to be terrorized by them, has begun to shed her unwarranted phobia! I explained in one of my guestings on her show that a reptile is not slimy and wet to the touch but pleasantly leathery and dry, just like a brand new LV or Prada bag! With this column, I hope the sophisticated (Philippine STAR readers) reading public may begin to understand and eventually fall in love with these fascinating, mysterious and ever so endearing animals. We shall start with the most popular pet snake, the Burmese python found in the tropical jungles of Southeast Asia.

Python Molorus Bivittatus or the Burm

The most popular among exotic pets is the Burmese python (Python molorus bivittatus) of the bestially erotic Nastassja Kinsky poster of my youth fame. Probably the most tractable of all the new world snakes, the gentle Burm (hobbyist slang for Burmese) requires lots of responsibility to care for. Kids usually start out with a cutesy 10-inch baby only to find out that it will eventually grow to more than 20 feet and weigh more than 200 pounds! The 10-gallon aquarium becomes inadequate and the little mice that it feeds on eventually need to be changed to rats, then rabbits then chickens and even pigs!

Many exotic pet keepers think when they decide they do not want the once diminutive snakey that has turned into a gigantic 20 foot monster, they can just donate it to the Manila Zoo. We in the City are just too polite to refuse the donation. The quarantine area behind the zoo is already over-populated with pythons of all kinds; mostly local reticulated pythons (Python reticulatus or sawa) caught creeping in the yards to full size Burms.

Although the Burmese python is quite tame, it needs, like all CB snakes do, a lot of attention and handling for it to stay that way. Easy for smaller species but impossible for specimen as fat as your leg and long as your congressman’s stretch limo! Owning a giant snake seems cool, but is a major, long term, very expensive responsibility. Even the gentlest of Burms can inflict major harm, if not death, if one is not careful and does not know the responsibilities that come with owning them.

If you decide to own one, the basics of getting started like enclosure, hiding place, water and feeding shall be tackled next week.

Happy herping!

* * *

I shall be more than happy to answer your queries at kuya_kim@hotmail.com or text me at 0918-2010405.