Golden Globes Fashion Police: The reigning red carpet accessory? Umbrellas

In the ugly late night standoff between Conan O’Brien and Jay Leno, it’s hard to remember that NBC has other things on its plate — like the Golden Globes. As Julia Roberts laughingly informed Access Hollywood’s consistently inane Billy Bush on the soaking red carpet (it was drizzling), “NBC is in the toilet right now!” (Access Hollywood, by the way, airs on NBC.)

Trust host Ricky Gervais to pull past the network scandal with a few jokes at NBC’s expense.

“Let’s get on with it before NBC replaces me with Jay Leno,” Gervais jokes after getting in some digs about plastic surgery, Angelina Jolie and Kiefer Sutherland.

A few celebs got to make fun of the ailing network while doing the red carpet tour of duty. “It’s not rain,” says Tina Fey of the dreary weather. “Just God crying for NBC.” (Her show, 30 Rock, is also on the same network.)

“The rain was scheduled for 10 p.m. but they moved it to 11:30,” cracks Tom Hanks, while Julia Roberts laughs in the background, not so obliquely referring to the late-night scheduling brouhaha.

On the red carpet, the biggest accessory wasn’t the bejeweled clutch or platform pump (although there were plenty of those) but the umbrellas. How I Met Your Mother’s Neil Patrick Harris stopped by The Gap on the way to the Globes to purchase an umbrella, while Paul McCartney hit the red carpet carrying an enormous version, more suitable for a picnic. “I’m not like Puff Daddy — I hold my own umbrella,” Penelope Cruz joked. Ginnifer Goodwin, Cameron Diaz and Tina Fey didn’t bother with umbrella-carrying flack either and, like the good troopers they are, posed for the paps while working the rainy-day accessory.

Drew Barrymore

CELINE: Mermaid scary, it does not make a splash.

BEA: Despite — or maybe because of — the coral reefs growing out of her hip and shoulder, I kind of like Barrymore’s Atelier Versace gown. Those things look like they could do some damage.

Jennifer Garner

C: She just doesn’t care, does she?

B: It’s like Vegas without any pizzazz. All the glitter without the sparkle.

Nicole Kidman

C: Like her face, it’s expressionless.

B: The floaty, leg-baring dress is par for the course for Kidman, who has a knack for choosing gowns that set off her pale skin. Now, if only we could get something a little less elegant, a little more adventurous, Kidman could come off looking a bit more human.

Cameron Diaz

C: I can’t dig her. So the dress becomes collateral damage.

B: A little color never hurt a girl — something Diaz proves in this McQueen dress. Even a downpour couldn’t dampen her glow.

Sandra Bullock

C: Boring and safe, the theme of almost every big-ticket actress. Why?

B: What can I say? The Bottega Veneta dress is tasteful and passable. Too bad the same can’t be said of The Blind Side.

Kate Hudson

C: Enough with Patricia Field/Sex and the City rose! Otherwise it would have been a classic look.

B: For a second I thought Hudson was harvesting a kidney or a spleen — or something — out of her leg, but no. It’s just a really randomly placed rosette on her Marchesa gown.

Julia Roberts

C: She’s baaaaaack!

B: Kudos to Roberts for keeping it easy — and still glamorous — in vintage Yves Saint Laurent.

Jennifer Morrison

C: Diaper couture.

B: What happens when you get hundreds of used tissues and throw them on a dress? Why, this Luis Antonio gown that manages to make the House actress look positively ancient. (The hair and makeup aren’t helping either, Morrison.)

Helen Mirren

C: Like cognac she certainly gets better with age.

B: Sex appeal clearly doesn’t have an expiration date. Mirren proves that Clooney isn’t the only silver fox on the red carpet.

Marion Cotillard

C: This dress needs to go to acting class.

B: I may be in the minority here, but Cotillard doesn’t look like she’s loving the Christian Dior dress. And the dress, with that awkward neckline and strange peek-a-boo hem, clearly isn’t loving her either.

Lea Michele

C: She wants to be a big-ticket actress, too! Boring and predictable! Someone inspire us!

B: I expected more from the star of this season’s breakout show Glee, but Michele tries safe with a De la Renta gown more appropriate for the likes of Zellweger. Coulda, woulda, shoulda.

Ginnifer Goodwin

C: Taking “that” look too far.

B: While she looks adorable, this Vionnet dress looks more prom than Golden Globes.

Fergie

C: The end.

B: The bold and the blah.

Jane Lynch

C: Not a gleeful dress.

B: That dress puts the fug in Glee but I don’t care. Love the Lynch.

Maggie Gyllenhaal

C: Her cerebral style and intuitive touch make her a singular sensation.

B: Always been a fan and this RM Roland Mouret number reminds me why I’ve always loved her.

Toni Collette

C: She looks quite different but I’m not hating it.

B: All that glitters isn’t fashion-police gold. This looks like one of Mariah’s castoffs. You can do so much better, Collette.

Elisabeth Moss

C: Curtain call ... dress is encore-worthy.

B: Her performance on the Golden Globe-winning Mad Men? Amazing. Her dress? How can anyone tell? That strange fringe across her forehead some people are calling bangs are so distracting it’s hard to see anything else.

Anna Paquin

C: True style.

B: The True Blood star shows off her inner vamp and proves that blondes — even fakes ones — do have more fun. On the red carpet, at least.

Sofia Vergara

C: This is not how a gold-digger rocks a gown. Perhaps she was trying to tone down her look.

B: It’s hard to believe this lady could look anything but hot, but this Carolina Herrera dress makes her look like a big lump wrapped in old gray towels.

Rose Byrne

C: No damages here.

B: Girlfriend always turns up in classy threads. This Lanvin gown proves she can do no wrong.

Amy Adams

C: She took Julie & Julia to the red carpet.

B: This Carolina Herrera dress does the impossible: it makes the lovely Amy Adams look like a dowdy matron.

Diane Kruger

C: A classic beauty in an epic gown. Magic.

B: Not everyone can get away with Christian Lacroix Haute Couture, but the Inglourious Basterds actress looks pretty glorious in this frock.

Heather Graham

C: Again stating the obvious.

B: Graham’s boobs threaten to overwhelm this Elie Saab frock, but otherwise it’s a great dress. It’s hard to go wrong when you’re as gorgeous as the Graham.

Mariah Carey

C: Kinda tired of this look but it doesn’t suck.

B: Mariah took out her own Golden Globes in an Herve Leger by Max Azria gown for the red carpet. It wouldn’t be Mariah without a little — or a lot — of cleavage on display. Glad some things don’t change.

Heidi Klum

C: Heidi, this is not one of your Halloween parties! Project run away ... from this dress!

B: The bottom of her Roberto Cavalli dress may resemble a feather duster, but that doesn’t keep Klum from looking like one hot momma. Didn’t she give birth, like, five seconds ago? She makes every new mom in sweats and slippers want to commit harakiri.

Chloe Sevigny

C: This rocks and she knows it.

B: Drapes can be an alternative source for clothing. Just ask Valentino, the label that fashioned this dress for her. On anyone else it would’ve looked dowdy but Sevigny knows how to rock a dress, even an unforgivable one that looks like something out of Bed, Bath & Beyond.

Olivia Wilde

C: Stating the obvious. Boring.

B: Not so wild about the boob-tastic cleavage and flashy Gucci dress. We already saw your cleavage on GQ, Wilde. Let’s try something new this time.

Sophia Loren

C: She may never have won the Golden Globe (even if she has been nominated a million times), but she dresses like a winner in this cougar-iffic dress.

B: Lady knows how to slip into a sexy dress and show just the right amount of skin. Her younger fellow actresses could learn a thing or two from Loren. (Cough, Lohan, cough)

Sigourney Weaver

C: I guess 50 is the new 20!

B: The Avatar star is smokin’ hot in Hervé Leroux. Ladies of a certain age represent!

Tina Fey

C: Turdy frock.

B: At least she dressed for the weather. That dress looks like an umbrella.

Zoe Saldana

C: I’m loving out of the CGI screen.

B: I can’t decide whether the dress is a success or tries too hard. Much like Avatar.

Christina Hendricks

C: Her golden globes need to be housed in a better dress.

B: Finally, a dress that does the Mad Men actress’s voluptuous figure some justice. At least her considerable bosom isn’t imprisoned under some hapless halter straps. But this gown by Project Runway alum Christian Siriano isn’t quite as grand as Hendricks deserves.

Anna Kendrick

C: Still a red carpet amateur, I see. Too much effort, too little style.

B: Tweens may know her from her too-limited role on Twilight, but the Up in the Air actress, who garnered critical acclaim and a Golden Globes Best Supporting Actress nom, stole the film as an uptight, ambitious, downsizing exec. Now, if only we could downsize that dust ruffle she’s calling a dress.

Emily Blunt

C: Nothing blunt about her style.

B: This is how you rock a tissue dress by Dolce & Gabbana. Morrison, start taking notes.

Julianne Moore

C: Over-detailing leads to disaster.

B: That crepe paper embellishment around her shoulders isn’t doing her any favors.

Gabourey Sidibe

C: She is on the rise!

B: Let me get this out of the way: Precious was seriously depressing. Be prepared to pop some Xanax right after. But the bright light that was Sidibe, who shines in this Kevin Hall gown, is worth watching.

Vera Farmiga

C: This dress is up in the air.

B: What Morticia Addams would wear to her wedding. And I mean that in a nice way. I love the Addams Family.

Calista Flockhart

C: Like Altoids she’s fresh in this dress.

B: Looking luminous and ethereal, the Alberta Ferretti gown and Harrison Ford are doing wonders for the Brothers and Sisters star.