Remembering a business friend

I have a lot of questions about life.One question that has been bugging me lately is why we never use the term "business friend." I wonder why we never use this term in reference to friends with whom we do business. People use other terms such as business partner, business associate, business colleague. We even have a term for someone who’s on the other side of the fence – we call them business competitors or business rivals. But I have yet to hear someone say, "Oh, him? He’s my business friend." In my almost 13 years in the business world, I have never heard anyone say that to me.

Maybe it’s because the term is an oxymoron. And as the old saying goes, "Business and friendship don’t mix."

I used to believe that old saying. Until I met a gentleman named Dondi Almario.

Dondi and I were not schoolmates. Nor did we grow up in the same neighborhood. I only met Dondi in 1997. Back then, I was heading IMG and was in charge of promoting our golf course design business to various real estate clients. A friend of mine told me that I should get in touch with Dondi, who, at that time, was the publisher of a very popular golf magazine called Golf Magazine Asia. My friend thought that since I was in the golf business, I might as well get to know Dondi since he might be able to introduce me to important people in the golfing world.

I heeded my friend’s advice and I made a cold call to Dondi. I was expecting a brash, loud, confident voice to greet me, since most golfers talk like that after 56 holes and a couple of beers. When Dondi said hello on the other line, I was taken aback. What I heard was a very pleasant, mild-mannered, almost embarrassed voice. "Is this Dondi Almario?" I asked. "Yes, yes, who is this please?" Dondi asked in the most courteous tone you can ever imagine. I was immediately struck by the charm and friendliness of his tone.

That initial conversation led to a series of meetings. Soon, Dondi and I were meeting just for the heck of it. Dondi and I shared a lot of things in common – we both come from big, happy families, we were both in the golf business, we shared the same values, and most of all, we both could talk about God candidly and openly without being embarrassed or conscious about it. He was the one person with whom I could talk about the economic repercussions of the peso depreciation, and then, in a blink of an eye, talk about how Christ was such an admirable business leader. I must admit, I don’t have that kind of openness with a lot of people I deal with.

The biggest risk that Dondi and I took was to get into business together. I knew that I was putting our friendship on the line. But when we were discussing it, Dondi told me, "Rod, let’s try this business out but if things don’t work out, I want to assure you that I will make our friendship the priority. Our friendship comes first."

I’ve had lots of friends with whom I have tried starting a business with. But it was only Dondi who ever said that line to me. And it was that reassuring line that made us form Next Alliance, a company whose objectives were to produce TV programs and make use of new and emerging forms of media that would complement the magazines that he was already publishing, namely, Golf Magazine Asia, Slam (a basketball magazine), Volume (a music lifestyle magazine), Teen (a youth lifestyle and fashion magazine), and Tatler (a high society lifestyle magazine). With another partner, Cyrus Rapinan, Dondi and I laid the groundwork for Next Alliance.

Just like any other venture, Dondi, Cyrus, and I had our share of ups and downs with Next Alliance. The ups were great and we celebrated with every new deal. The downs were a bummer but I was comforted by the fact that Dondi and I made that "friendship over business" pact. So we persevered. We had a show called Planet X, an extreme sports and youth lifestyle show, which we envisioned to be a major network one day – a youth network that would eventually topple that giant – MTV.

One day, I had this idea which I shared with Dondi and Cyrus – "Let’s sleep with the enemy, guys! Let’s tie up with MTV. Let’s offer to cover their events and air them on Planet X. Once we’ve tied up, we’d be considered as in the same league as MTV! We’ll get bigger by association!" Dondi and Cyrus thought it was a great strategy. So we planned our move. I called MTV big boss Francis Lumen.

We made a presentation to Francis and we felt good about it. We were really gung-ho. The next day, Francis called me and said, "Great presentation, Rod. Can I meet with you?" And I replied, "Glad you liked it. I’ll tell Dondi and Cyrus." Francis replied, "No, I just want to meet with you. Dinner at Hotel Nikko this Saturday night. Please bring your fiancee, Teemy." When I put down the phone, I had a weird feeling inside of me. But what the heck. Teemy and I went.

"Rod, I’d like you to work for MTV," Francis told me. I was struck. I had not expected this at all. My initial reaction was, "Would I?! Absolutely!" I mean, who wouldn’t want to work for the world’s biggest media brand, right? But then I thought of Dondi and Cyrus, and our partnership. We had a good thing going. And now I was faced with this.

I called Dondi the next day and told him my meeting with Francis. He instantly knew I was in a dilemma. He knew what was going on in my mind. I was getting married in six months and I could certainly use the guaranteed cash flow. Planet X had advertisers and it was selling pretty well. But we were rich with receivables. Cash flow was a different story. In fact, we weren’t giving ourselves our full salaries until we actually got paid by our clients. So cash flow-wise, Dondi knew MTV was an attractive offer for me.

Dondi gave me a reassuring smile and said, "Rod, I really don’t want to lose you as a partner. But this is one heck of an opportunity. Go for it." Dondi then shook my hands and said, "Congratulations, Rod, you deserve this. And don’t worry, I will always be your partner."

That was it. No hard feelings. No "why-are-you-doing-this-to-me" or "I-thought-we-were-in-this-together" speeches. Dondi selflessly allowed me to move on because he knew it was good for me and even if he knew that that was the beginning of the end for Planet X and Next Alliance. He was not just a partner. He wasn’t just a colleague. He was a friend. A business friend.

Around three years ago, when I was already with MTV, Dondi called me and said matter-of-factly that he had stage 4 cancer. I was floored. I was scared, terribly scared. "Donds, I don’t know what to say..." I am not ashamed to say it – I cried. Dondi chuckled a bit and said, "Yah... oh well. Funny, we all try to imagine how we’d go someday. I used to imagine it. Now I know how I’ll go. Cancer pala." I was struck by his ability to laugh and take the whole thing lightly. Dondi added, "But I guess the blessing is that now that I know, I can prepare. Each day, I take it with a new perspective. Each day has new meaning." I went home that night feeling I had a whole watermelon in my throat.

Over the course of the next 25 months, Dondi and I would sometimes catch up and have lunch. And in true Dondi form, he’d show more concern for me than for himself. One time, when my wife had a miscarriage, it was he who consoled us and prayed for us. He brought us to the famous healing nun, Sister Gloria, and he prayed over us. Over those 25 months, he would have his ups and downs – he’d get a remission, and we’d all be happy – and then the Big C would attack again. It was a roller-coaster battle and he fought valiantly and with a lot of class.

But on June 11, the disease finally caught up with Dondi. My business friend eventually breathed his last. But not before a graceful exit. When he felt that he was about to go, Dondi removed his oxygen tube, and cheerfully waved to his family, and said "OK, I’m going now. Bye! Love you all!" He peacefully closed his eyes, and went to the Great Beyond. It was a classy way to go. No French exits. No slipping in the darkness of the night. And no fanfare and hoopla. Just a cheerful goodbye. It was the "Dondi Way" of saying goodbye. A "see you later" rather than a farewell, which was very comforting. Dondi never really liked drama anyway.

See you later, Dondi! I look forward to having those long lunches with you in the future, my dear business friend. When you have the time, check out the nice places in heaven, OK? I hope they have a nice Japanese restaurant there where we can just lounge around and talk about beautiful things – no more cash flow crunches, no more account receivables, no more collection issues.

And by the way, when you get a chance to talk with the Lord, put in a good word for me, will you? You’ve always done that for me anyway.

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Thanks for your letters! You may e-mail me at rodnepo@yahoo.com.