Wow, Mali! is back

Ano na ba’ng nangyayari sa mundo ngayon?

May nanganak ng walo! Inay! ano ba ‘yon?

Sa London, isang batang labing-tatlong taon —

Ang kinse anyos n’yang kalaro ay tinesbun!

Maliwanag na sa unang kasong tinukoy,

Ang babaeng nagsilang, sarili’y “binaboy” —-

At bakit hindi, ano ba ang tawag dun, hoy?

Nanganganak lang ng ganun kadami’y baboy!

At ‘yung milagrong nangyari naman sa London —-

Kwidaw iwanan mga bata sa maghapon,

Sapagkat bahay-bahayang laro kahapon,

Bahay-bata ni Nene may laman na ngayon!

‘Di ba n’yo napuna na sa kasong ganire

Kadalasan ay mas matanda ang babae,

‘Di kaya malimit ‘ding sambit ng lalake —-

“Tukso kayo talaga — ‘wag po, ‘wag po Ate!”

“Acheche!” na lang ating magiging reaksyon

Sa mga bagay na ito, o “Wow, Mali ‘yun!”

Tamang-tama naman at parang nagkataon,

Simula na ng Wow, Mali! sa TV ngayon.

That’s right, it’s “wrong” time once again. Starting tonight at 6, Sundays on TV5, Ang Pambansang Pang-Goodtime Ng Pilipinas ay mali, este muli ninyong mapapanuod.

It’s going to be a bigger, better, “wronger” but definitely, funnier Wow, Mali!

We are not just “attacking” MegaManila this time. Our Wrong Rangers have gone berserk nationwide.  Kaya, take a lot of ingats — Wow, Mali! is back!

Also, we have added new segments in the show — like, Parlor Games — this one’s really a riot. Parlor Games are games, quiz contests and even debates conducted inside beauty parlors. Kaya nga parlor games eh. At ang mga contestants? Naturalmentol cigarettes, ay ‘yung mga “geisha” na beauticians ng parlor; mga pa-byuti na bading. In short, butandings!

And this time, yours truly personally leads the attack. We also call this portion Wow MA-LI (meaning “five“ for the prize of P500), Wow Money! and Wow Mare, Wow Pare, Ang Sarap Mag-Debate!

Here’s an actual happening in one of the Question & Answer competitions:

JOEY: Inglesin n’yo ang “Huwag mo akong hawakan!”

Gay contestant one: Don’t touch me?

JOEY (turning to the other contestant): Do you have a better answer?

Gay contestant two (complete with feelings): Don’t you ever touch me ha!

Naturally, the point went to the second contestant. 

There are a lot of unexpected and shockingly insane answers and discussions in this new segment of Wow, Mali!

By the way, in racing to answer first, the contestants will be using, for the first time on TV “ever” a live buzzer. We call him Buzzerman! He is a Roman Gladiator by the name of Julius Buzzerius. The buzzer buttons are attached to his warrior helmet extending down to his sideburns guard over his left and right cheeks. In reality, contestants don’t just press the buttons — they actually slap them — and very hard!

We likewise have Wow, MAIL ( these are letters from viewers for some famous celebrities and personalities), Tease Shirts of the Week, Mahiwagang Tunog and other crazy capsules.  

* * *

And may I shamelessly plug and announce also that beginning Feb. 28 (every Saturday at 7 p.m.), my daughter Jocas Eightria will co-host Fashionistas By Heart on Q-11.

Wait, there’s more! Back at GMA 7, starting next Sunday (March 1), it’s welcome Joey’s Quirky World after saying goodbye to Takeshi’s Castle. Regular slots of Joey’s Quirky World on Saturdays before Eat, Bulaga! and Sundays before S.O.P.

Congratulations to direk Louie Ignacio for his very successful first one-man art exhibit at Artasia in Megamall. You still have a chance to see it. It runs until Feb. 26.

* * *

At dahil Wow, Mali! na nga simula ngayong gabi, here’s more of those “wow mistakes” from the Eat, Bulaga! territory:

Host: Anong hayop na “A” ang simbolo ng Ateneo?

Contestant: Ahhh — ahhh — Aso?

(Hindi nakatiis si Vic Sotto) 

VIC: “Walanghiya ka, ginawa mong Ateneo Blue Dogs!”

* * *

Host: Anong “O” na two words ang title ng kantang may linyang ganito: “I wanna spread my wings, but I just can’t fly, as a string of pearls and pretty girls go sailing by —”?

Contestant: Ahhh — Ocean — Ocean — Brief? Hindi, mali — ahhh — Ocean Breeze! Hindi — ahhh — (ekkkk — at naubos ang time limit and at the same time, he realized the correct answer) — ayyy — Ocean Deep pala — hehehe.

(Hindi na naman nakatiis si Vic Sotto)

Vic: “Walanghiya ka, Ocean Brief? ‘Yan ang pinaka-maalat na brief!”

* * *

Host: Misis, anong “O” na bantayog ang karaniwang makikita sa mga campus ng University of the Philippines?

Contestant: Naku, alam ko ‘yan! Ahhh — (the hosts continue giving clues to the contestant)

Host: Hindi ba, ang model pa n’yan ‘yung tatay ni —

Contestant: Fernando Poe Jr.!

Host: Korak! Ang galing mo! O anong “O”?

(Hanggang naubos ang time, but the hosts still tried to lead the contestant to the correct answer ) Pambihira ka naman — ano, hindi mo pa rin mahuli? Ob — Ob — ano?

Contestant: Ovulation!

(Ako naman ang hindi nakatiis)

Joey: ‘Yan ‘yung estatwa na walang Ocean Brief!