The last laugh

Now you’re getting old. You don’t know what you want to do. Me? I just enjoy knitting while watching movies on Netflix. I know that not everyone who reads this column has the gift of cable TV but maybe you have a friend who does and maybe you can watch together.

 I have noticed more movies for people in their 70s and 80s because the world’s population is growing older. During my grandmother’s days people died when they were 60 but my lola died at 84. My mother died at 88. I will probably die in my 90s. 

 In your 70s it’s hard to think of what you will do. I stopped teaching writing because I got bored with it. I had been teaching since 2002, 17 years doing the same thing. I think I was rightfully bored. Lately, however, watching the right movies on Netflix inspires me. There are two movies I recommend. The first is Our Souls at Night, featuring Jane Fonda and Robert Redford, both of them playing old people, which they are in real life. They are neighbors. Both of them are widows so they live alone. Jane Fonda invites Robert Redford to come over and sleep with her to keep her company at night. He accepts. They don’t do anything but talk and sleep. No hanky-panky. They develop a friendship and that makes life worthwhile for them.

 Then I watched The Last Laugh that stars Chevy Chase, Richard Dreyfuss and Andie MacDowell. I know Chevy Chase, now 76, from Saturday Night Live, back when I was watching that; Richard Dreyfuss, now 71, from Mr. Holland’s Opus; and Andie MacDowell, now 61, from Four Weddings and a Funeral.

Chevy Chase plays a retired talent agent. He used to manage comedians. Richard Dreyfuss is a comedian who turned podiatrist about 50 years earlier. They meet in an elite seniors place. They are both widowers. Chevy Chase doesn’t want to just stare into space in his old age. Richard Dreyfuss experiences a loss of his current girlfriend, whom he doesn’t want to admit was his girlfriend, and decides, okay, book me an act in New York again.

  They drive off, the old people in the retirement home bidding them goodbye. They begin taking gigs in small clubs. This part is very funny but I won’t tell you why so you watch the movie. Then they hit Kansas where Chevy Chase meets Andie MacDowell and soon the three of them are traveling all the way to Chicago. That’s where the comedy turns dramatic. I shouldn’t tell you how either because it would ruin the movie for you. But I will tell you the essence of the story.

 After you watch the movie you think: really, one should not just stop life because of age. Many men worldwide are guilty of that. After they retire they feel that they are all closer to dying. They spend the rest of their lives watching golf on cable TV. Many men in the world face aging that way. 

 But women are different. We know and love life. We know that how we live it is up to us. I knit and make jewelry. I cannot sell my knitting because I would have to charge too much. It takes a lot of time and effort to knit well. I would have to charge thousands for a sweater but you should see the sweaters I knit. They are original, with uneven hemlines, fashionable. I wear them. They look beautiful on me. Nobody believes I knitted them myself.

 I know I’m 75 because sometimes it’s hard for me to stand up from a sitting position. Of course. I sit and knit or make jewelry for long periods of time. My muscles hurt. I look at my face and I have wrinkles. But I still wear makeup. I still wear leggings. I still dress the way I like to dress. I never let age defeat me. Everyone ages. Some of us age well. It’s not a gift; it’s an attitude. All attitudes we can handle. We can change.

 My three daughters are all in their 50s. How can I lie about my age? But I still feel alive and well. I am still interested in life. I still like to watch movies on Netflix. I also watched a movie, Rules Don’t Apply, that featured old movie stars. Warren Beatty played Howard Hughes. His wife, Annette Bening, plays the mother of one of his starlets. Martin Sheen and Candice Bergen were also in the movie. It was interesting to watch them, to see how they’ve aged and to see Howard Hughes in a new light. Warren Beatty wrote and directed the film. Can you imagine that?

 Getting old doesn’t mean you have nothing to look forward to but death. Getting old means you have to live — and live well — every day you are alive.

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