It's political vampire season once again

In UP, the campaign period before the elections is always good for a few laughs (and then some). During this time, all the world’s a stage, and all the men and women merely blood-thirsty political vampires out to suck your soul — vote, I mean. Your hand need only be extended a few inches above waist level before it is immediately grabbed by the eager political beaver and shaken vigorously (not stirred), while a short walk across the hall guarantees that you will not be without the odd electoral candidate sprouting up like anthropomorphic daisies in your midst. During this time, you’re the veritable belle of the ball — everyone either wants to be your friend, your guidance counselor, or your personal stress ball. But never your politician. Good God, no. What a horrible thing to say.

Back in my freshman year, I used to laugh in the faces (okay, not really) of these aspiring public servants, tickled as I was by the fact that they all had to be so maddeningly cheery in a sea of student zombies. Apart from that, the blatant kissing of people’s a****s (and I do mean this figuratively) was a little more than I could bear…given the reason and season. I mean, trapo, much?

You can imagine my horror at having had to do all this a year later.

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If there was anything I learned from the experience of running the election marathon, it’s that, in the end, you usually can’t beat the system — at least on the procedural level. And although the idea of harassing random passers-by with sweaty handshakes and half-hearted “how-are-yous” was about as appealing to me as food-poisoning — this was something that had to be done. You know, in order to actually garner recall in the minds of the voting public come election day.

It was superficial and everybody knew it, but what can you do? Either you take the high road and engage in what sociologist Louis Althusser called the “Great Refusal,” or you try to lessen the politicking in your own way. In my case, asking permission before offering a wet hand in greeting did surprising wonders for my conscience. There were some days, however, when, due to lack of sleep, internal disputes, or pent-up frustration in general, my running mates and I found it extremely hard to keep our game faces on. Every power-walk resembled a funeral march, and every room-to-room spiel felt like a dyslogy. I don’t know about the rest, but I survived by singing The Killers’ Smile Like You Mean It in my head…or out loud. I can’t remember.

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Of course, as UP is said to be the microcosm of Philippine society, you can be sure that the apple of university politics does not fall far from the national tree. Apart from the standard operating procedures implicitly encouraging “trapo-ness,” you also have every color of the rainbow present in the various political parties. And as an erstwhile candidate, naturally, I am affiliated with my own political party (proud to be red!). But I’m not going to bore you with arguments on why my party is more substantial than the blue or more clear-cut than the yellow, since that would be the height of stupidity (and social suicide). Instead, I’m going to bore you with why I would never want to have anything less than the presence of all these contesting groups. Let’s face it: no matter what anyone says or tells you, no matter the facts presented against you, if you’re affiliated — you believe your party is the best (unless you become disillusioned at some point in your life, but I digress). And that’s perfectly normal. It’s what keeps the alliance together. However, the majority of your unaffiliated constituents are different, in the sense that their color wheel is either gray, or tabula rasa. It’s among these voters where the toughest battles are waged, and where the value of having a multitude of political ideologies comes to light. Think of it this way; without the blue or yellow party, for example, the reds wouldn’t be able to tout themselves as the “alternative,” since there would be nothing to compare themselves against. Likewise, without the reds or the yellow, the blue party wouldn’t be as vigilant in constantly proving their stability to the voters, since nothing would pose as a threat. Furthermore, this plurality of perspectives will stand a better chance of keeping our leaders from becoming monopolizing despots. But I remain cynical on this count. Anyhow, in less convoluted jargon, let it simply be said that at the end of the day, a fusion of horizons is probably best — on the university, as well as national level of politics.

This May, to paraphrase Karl Marx, we’ll once again be voting for our next round of civil oppressors. Let it not be said, however, that you weren’t responsible for your choice of leader. But…as this is the Philippines, we all know, that, from the university level and up, it all boils down to personality. Just this once — let’s prove the system wrong. Platform over personality politics, please. And just maybe, we’ll have a hope of surviving the next nine years.