(Everything is) less than zero
A Supposedly Fun Thing I’ll Never Do It Again
I tried being an atheist and was quite successful at it for about two to three years. As Gang Badoy pointed out, it’s quite nice being snarky to people who for one reason or another subscribe to even kookier cults than Catholicism. I’ve a friend who became a Scientologist, another who tried (and is still in) the Landmark Forum and we had as guests the lovely ladies from Kabbalah on our little show called RockEd Radio. I highly suggest being an atheist for a time since it helps you think critically and allows you see the fragile belief systems that all of these cults operate on. Including Catholicism. Admittedly, I’m back to being Catholic (Roman) not because it makes sense but because it doesn’t. Unlike all the belief systems I’ve mentioned it’s a mess — and, as anyone who will attest, I quite like being in the chaos of things. Unlike many Catholics (as Ryan Tani) has pointed out most Christians haven’t read the Bible or read it with their own agendas. Even then one must not limit ourselves to the religious literature prescribed in school (which you don’t read anyway) but stuff like The Confesssions of St. Augustine, which I consider a favorite book. It’s a book about struggle; about how hard it is to be Christian and most importantly it’s a book about doubt. If anything that’s what Catholics tend to forget, that at the heart of their faith is doubt. Now any creed that espouses an answer is bogus — a well-ordered systematic set of beliefs that replace faith and its twin doubt with mysticism and a “purpose–driven life” is closer to Nazism and the other pitfalls of the Enlightenment. So, let’s agree to disagree? But if you try to convert me or do your dance-and-jig, I’ll rip you not only a new one but also your soul apart as well.
Sacred Cows Make Good Hamburgers
Last week, I wrote about Teodoro Locsin Sr. who I consider a personal hero of mine. The man not only had balls (too many people exalt that attribute as if it’s the end-all, be –all of everything) but a firebrand intellect as well. As I pointed out in last week’s column, the man also had a sense of humor as the many covers and editorials he wrote and co-conceptualized with associate editor/editorial illustrator Esmeraldo Izon bears out. He ridiculed then-Mayor Ramon Bagasting for blaming the Flood of 1972 to the theft of the Sto. Niño (see UNO Magazine December issue with tattoo artist Sarah Gaugler on the cover for the full article) when the floods had already claimed 32 lives before the statue was stolen from the Tondo Church. He writes: “What does the Bagatsing statement make of the Sto. Niño? What if not the devil? If some thief broke into your home and stole your portrait, would you go out and shoot people right and left in retaliation? You’d be lucky if you escaped the electric chair—by successfully pleading insanity.” An Izon cartoon depicting the Marcos couple pointing to the Sto. Niño accompanied the piece exclaiming it as their campaign manager! The Philippines Free Press is now on its 101th year. Despite Locsin being dead for only 10 years his influence if not his writing still overshadows everything in it.
The Sound Of Two Hands Clapping — The Sound Of Eight Shots Resounding
Although I’m not a Zen Buddhist (like all the famous ones Leonard Cohen or Richard Gere) I find it less odious than most of the pseudo-stuff peddled by the Landmark Forum, Kabbalah etc. In fact, I actually find it quite beautiful and its views achieving a certain poetry in its self-effacing ethos and cyclical view of history. (I also find much to admire in the tenets of the Mormon religion, though like all religions they have much that’s been unsavory to say the least. Anyway what I’m trying to do in a roundabout way is trying to get a handle on the fact that Carlo J. Caparas MAY STILL BE a National Artist. Contrary to what he wants us to believe he isn’t yet. The President has yet to sign the papers officially declaring him to be one. Like the issue of the RH Bill or the accreditation of Ang Ladlad as a party-list organization, I believe this is an issue that needs to be taken seriously and if Arroyo and her cohorts think no one will stand up against what I would term as an atrocity then she better stop listening to Lupita Kashiwara. My slain friend, fellow journalist and critic Alexis Tioseco believed that naming Mr. Caparas the same distinction as film directors such as Lino Brocka, Lamberto Avellana, Gerardo de Leon and Manuel Conde was a travesty—so much so, he showed up and refuted Caparas in Cheche Lazaro’s Media on Focus on ANC. Sadly, Alexis is now gone, killed by an assassin’s bullet last Sep. 1. But the fight continues and I’ve made an effigy of Caparas already. All I need to do now is find a way to get around this gun ban and acquire a firearm to shoot eight shots into the damn thing. The last shot goes to the back of the head.
I hope Malacañang pays attention now.
Smells Like Dead Elephants
Some of our friends are so enamored with the rhetoric of Gilbert Teodoro that it can only indicate an alarming sense of hopelessness creeping in. The fact that even the best minds and intellectuals are taken by all this talk of “Posible” and the unerring logic of Gibo just smacks of desperation. He talks well, he comports himself well. He’s got money; he’s got a great looking babe as a wife. As the underlings of the Presidential Press Office exclaimed beside me during the press conference of Secretary of State Hillary Clinton (for the benefit presumably for the rest of us) “Sankapa?!” (To which one can answer: “a fate worse than GMA.”) During his one-on-one interview with ANC anchor Ricky Carandang our Gibo was in fine form, answering everything with clarity, insight and — how shall we say this? — a presidential air. Except for the crucial query about his relationship with his political benefactor and uncle Danding Cojuanco. This he skipped around saying that the only difference was that they belonged to different parties. That’s a bit disingenuous, don’t you think? And let’s not forget that Gibo was the lawyer against the coconut farmers in his uncle’s Coco Levy scam (which during the past six years GMA could’ve resolved). Working for the devil himself (i.e. the Estelito Mendoza law firm) he now says that if elected he will be hands-off on the issue. I don’t know about you, but I don’t want presidents that accede to committees what they themselves should be decisive about. After all, what are a few coconuts (actually millions) for the highest office in the land?
Like Chiz Escudero before him, Gilbert Teodoro wants us to talk about the future so we can put the past away. Having no sense of history serves their purpose — it also gives them the temerity to suggest that that’s all Noynoy Aquino’s got. (Well if you did do a little background check you’d find out that the latter’s proven his mettle as a public servant as well as being a witness and victim to the brutalities of recent history.)
Teodoro should come clean about his involvement with his uncle. His pronouncements just doesn’t cut it. And his involvement in the biggest swindle in Philippine agricultural history as the lawyer for the Coco Levy isn’t one for the committees, man. Sorry for the lack of respect in my tone but, as Elvis Costello, once sang, everything is less than zero.
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Tune in to RockEd Radio with Gang Badoy and Lourd de Veyra every Thursday 9-11pm at the NU 107.5 (www.rockedradio.com)
