Allow us a few words to offend you

The whole uproar sparked by a column by fellow critic and colleague Igan D’ Bayan a couple of weeks ago in his review of Up Dharma Down certainly brings a smirk to those of us in the business of being critics. Text messages flew fast and furious denouncing D’ Bayan and his quips about certain bands and the popular music hangout Saguijo in Makati. Apparently, D’ Bayan irked a few barflies after some catty asides about certain bands that played the same night, as well as taking issue with the venue itself: in the article, he said, it was frequented by "real rockers and kids who still think The Libertines is a punk band." Perhaps the most interesting condemnation of the writer was that he had no right to comment about the scene since he rarely showed up at the gigs or spent time doing idle chit-chat with the artists. As far we know, the embattled writer’s response has been sober and justified: it’s his opinion. In our opinion, he doesn’t need anybody’s approval – save his editors – to say it.

Of course, given the emotions involved in the whole affair, no one can expect an intelligent debate. As far as we know, D’ Bayan’s credibility and integrity as a journalist has never been questioned throughout the mudslinging. In fact, he is actually the best rock journalist we have at that moment – if we are to consider that he’s probably one of the few who has an innate understanding of music and its history as well as – and here’s where most so-called music writers fail – the fact that he can actually write. "Writing about music is like dancing about architecture," once quipped Elvis Costello. D’ Bayan, as far as I know, is a terrible dancer but the man can surely make you want to listen to the stuff he writes about. Also, if you re-read his article, his remarks stop short of being mean. In our business, it’s so easy for us to just name the bands we don’t like rather than keep our readers guessing (and causing many misunderstandings). In effect, he was giving them constructive criticism that, hey, giving a shout out to a Japanese post-modernist author may not save a song that frankly we’ve all heard before. Nowhere did he say that this band should be avoided at all costs or that they were unsalvageable. Though the criticism might hurt, the advice is that there is always room for improvement. No matter how you hate critics, we do indeed serve a function.

Another thing that got people’s panties in a twist is that D’Bayan supposedly disparaged Saguijo itself. We’ve been to the bar several times and we can say that nothing he wrote was untrue. It is common knowledge to its regulars that it can be a bit crowded – but, hey, that ain’t a bad thing in my book. Rock n’ roll was born in such places. And for those too young to know (but really with the internet there really is no excuse) The Libertines are nowhere near being a punk band. (John Lydon himself said in a recent interview that the less you look or sound like a punk band from the 1970s the more punk you probably are. Listening to the former Pistol’s forays into electronic music in recent years, we’d say an artist like local IDM practitioner Moon Fear Moon is punk rock.) Despite everything, Saguijo is still the best place to see live music.

D’Bayan’s situation is not unlike that of film critic Alexis Tioseco. In our opinion, Tioseco is probably the best and perhaps most credible writer on cinema in the country at the moment. Why? The reason is simply that he’s the only one we can think of that does it without any reason but an almost naïve passion for the cinematic medium. Of course, combined with his in-depth knowledge of cinema history and a lucid, evocative literary style, he surpasses even Noel Vera as being the one local critic who does matter. Of course, given all his talents, it’s no surprise that most people in our film industry hate him.

To conclude, we’re sure that there are those reading this that are raring to send letters telling us how wrong we are. After 10 years of doing this gig, we’re used to it. D’Bayan is too; and hopefully, Tioseco. Word of advice though: like it or not, we’re here for a reason. We know our s**t. It wouldn’t be too arrogant to say that we’re smarter about these things than a lot of you who write us. Hate to say it, but it’s true.

There’s a special place in Hell for critics, they say. Well, we can only hope that the music is great.