Ultimate seduction

A warning to all three of my female readers: Starting this weekend, for the love of God, please lock yourselves at home, weld the bolts shut, and turn the volume up while watching My Husband’s Lover, because the Master Class in How to Become an Ultimate Pick-up Artist will be in session. 

During their three-week session, the participants will be scurrying into the various the bars, clubs, coffee houses and public restrooms around Metro Manila to do their homework. And trust me, you do not want to be part of their assignment.  

This “Ultimate Seduction Class” (USC) is taught by two veterans of the pickup artist industry (you can tell they are veterans by the scars): Atty. Ryu Uy (you need to be an attorney in this industry to prepare for the lawsuits) and Nomer “The Mind Master” Lasala (because you have to master at least one body part). You can find out more about them by visiting an Interpol website. I had a chance to interview these tag-team “seduction instructors” while they were on parole.

RJ LEDESMA: So what are your qualifications to train future pickup artists? Does it require a bachelor’s degree? A technical diploma? A criminal record?

ATTORNEY RYU UY: The only thing I can guarantee is that we have a lot of experience and we’re just sharing all the things we’ve learned over the past few years. And (pickup artistry) is a dynamic, ever-evolving field.

Yes, I’ve noticed that some of your participants look like they are still evolving. How do you become an ultimate pickup artist? Is there an accreditation process? And what should be the level of your pain threshold?

Being a pickup artist (PUA) is a mindset.

(No Girlfriend Since Birth [NGSB] representative: But what if you are out of your mind?) 

A PUA is somebody who influences others to achieve the effect that he wants. It’s all about persuasion and social skills. So, if you brand yourself as a PUA and do things that you think a PUA should be doing, then you have every right to call yourself a PUA.

I know some people who work in the cattle industry who can do your branding.

At some point, everybody’s a PUA because we are all trying to sell ourselves. Whether we’re trying to sell soap or insurance, we’re still trying to sell ourselves.

My wife was smart. She bought me on installment. Doesn’t the use of the word “seduction” carry a negative connotation? It implies that you can’t use your natural charm, glutathioned face and chest hair to attract the opposite sex? 

We don’t have any other word (aside from “seduction”) that we can use that accurately portrays what we are teaching.

I’m sure we can find a description in the criminal law books.

That’s why we are filtering people because this power is very, very dangerous in the hands of somebody who has not-so-good intentions.

I’m sure PUAs have no not-so-good intentions at heart. The not-so-good intentions come from the other body parts. Are the classes more about seduction techniques or self-confidence techniques or self-defense techniques?

Pickup artistry is actually personality development in the guise of picking up women.

So, you’re like the X-rated movie version of John Robert Powers.

NOMER LASALA: But confidence can only get you so far. We fuel the confidence with competition. We give them the tools that instill confidence.

Like what tools? A jackhammer? Ryu, you are a legendary seducer according to your PR person. That being the case, do you have a girlfriend right now?

RYU: Yes.

How many?

One.

How many ones is that? Does she allow you to teach these seduction classes?

Fortunately, she allows me to teach. But, of course, there are certain limitations owing to the fact that we’re in a serious and committed relationship.

Thanks for reading the answer from the press release.

She was one of the people I met while I was doing this art.

Was she one of your students or one of your targets, este, homework, este subjects?

She’s actually very open about it and she knows a lot about (PUA). For a time, she was even one of our coaches. I learned a lot from her.

I can see how much you learned from her by how tight the leash marks are around your neck. What motivates you then to teach these classes? Does it make you grow hair in all the inappropriate places? Does it make your testicles increase in diameter? Does it secure you a place in the infernal hierarchy?

When I first learned the art of pickup, I was selfish about it because I didn’t want to give away my “edge.” Then I became good friends with a guy who told me he almost committed suicide because his girlfriend had left him. After the breakup, he was very depressed and felt that he couldn’t approach other women. That’s when I decided to teach him PUA skills. Then he got better and better at it until he had a wealth of dating options. I felt fulfilled seeing others success at being PUAs.

I am nominating you for CNN Hero of the Year. Hopefully that will erase your NBI record. What’s the curriculum of the class and does it have the approval of DepEd? I’m sure Bro. Armin would like to know.

The basic theme of the USC is to teach them to be real pickup artists.

As opposed to the abstract ones?

Unlike those wannabe PUAs, we will teach them how to properly approach women, how to build and expand your social circle and how to create multiple social circles. 

Not like those who are wannabes who don’t know how to approach women well, those who don’t know how to build a social circle.

(NGSB representative: You mean I will finally be able to approach women without fear of injury anymore?)

(Dirty Old Men [DOM] representative: You mean I’ll finally have a social circle that I don’t have to pay for?)

We teach how you can use the knowledge of the pickup arts to further your career or other aspects of your life.

(NGSB representative: Since this is an art, can I get subsidy from the National Commission on Culture and the Arts to be attend the class?) 

NOMER: We don’t just give them a script or lines on how to approach a woman. We are going to give them the foundation. We’re going to explain what makes the lines work. We’re not going to spoon-feed them the pickup arts…

You’ll be force-feeding them?

We will bring out the participants’ X Factor...

X Factor? Like what, a pair of claws or a third nipple?

…So that they can tailor fit their pickup game to the situation.

May seamstress pa kayo. What’s one of the more potent lessons you will be teaching the class that will not require the scrutiny of CBCP? 

To focus on the principles, not on the tactics. Tactics are the most “marketed” pickup techniques in the mainstream. For example, if you want to win over a girl, you should say this line…

(DOM representative: “Whatever he offers, I can pay double”?)

Or a neg. In PUA terms, that’s an insult that sounds like a compliment.

Like “You’d be prettier if you shaved more often”? 

RYU: Or a magic trick. If you do this magic trick, then the girls would go wild. Then you’ll have her in the palm of your hand.

(NGSB representative: Wow, you can teach us how to shrink the girl so she can fit in the palm of our hand?)

Or sometimes, you can be an a-hole to the girl. Pretend not to give a damn about her, and she’s going to get challenged to get you (to like her).  

(NGSB representative: Are you talking about me and my yaya?)

NOMER: Those are tactics, they don’t work all the time. When you employ tactics, you are just looking at the superficial level. The principles focus on why do these (tactics) work (or don’t work). An example of a principle is “Attraction Frustration.”

I can see how women can be frustrated if they are attracted to you. 

The woman is frustrated by you, so you become more attractive to her. And if you “disqualify” someone, they will be more attracted to you. But it should be an active disqualification, not just a passive disqualification.

How do you disqualify them? File a case with the Comelec?

You need to set up (a framework) for your willingness to leave (the situation) because you’re not really into her. At the same time, you send out a message that you’re an alpha-male. This reverses the “game.” For example, when you say “I cannot talk to you anymore because you are like a little sister to me,” she will be intrigued as to why she doesn’t interest you and, because of this, she will think you’re cool. 

(NGSB representative: I tried that line with my own sister and she still doesn’t think I’m cool.)

Based on your publicity materials, it says that the class can help you completely destroy “approach anxiety” or the fear or approaching women. How do you accomplish this? With what medication?

Basically, the cure for this phobia is facing your fear.

(NGSB representative: And we have to pay P3,500 to learn this?)

We can give them tools and numerous approaches.  One principle is desensitization.

What do you give the participants to desensitize them? Novocaine?

If you don’t have approach anxiety when it comes to women, there is something wrong with you.

(NGSB representative: That’s all I have when it comes to approaching women.)

Even I still get approach anxiety. 

Thanks for assuring us that you’re still human. I thought you were inhuman.

RYU: It’s just a matter of how to handle your approach anxiety. Based on my experience, it usually comes from fear of rejection. One of the ways to deal with that is to show how to get rejected. During the class, I am going to approach a lot of women and intentionally get rejected. And when the class sees that, they’ll think, “Hey, rejection isn’t so bad after all.”

(NGSB representative: I don’t think I need anyone to teach me about getting rejected. I’m already an expert at it.)

But remember, rejection is merely part of the process. But it is the path to success.

As long as you don’t get any debilitating injuries on the way there. What would you say is the difference between making ligaw a woman and using pickup artistry with a woman? Aside from the legal consequences?

We don’t doubt that, sometimes, ligaw works. But let’s just say that ligaw is more of a hit or miss thing. But pickup artistry increases your chances (of hitting) because you will know the principles.

(DOM representative: I can proudly say that I have been the veteran of many impacts.)

In fact, you can do ligaw and incorporate (techniques) from pickup artistry so that the process becomes faster.

(DOM representative: Why didn’t I know this when I was 84 years old?)

NOMER: And not too many girls are fond of ligaw anymore.

Why? What are they fond of nowadays? Candy Crush?

Pickup is the new ligaw.

(DOM representative: I can’t handle all these new romantic techniques. Can’t I just go back to using a club?)

Haven’t you ever been the target of feminist groups who object to the way that you approach the art of meeting women? With what you are teaching, it’s like arming cavemen with nuclear missiles.

RYU: No. In fact, there are a lot of women who consult me because they want to know what is going on in the mind of a guy. One reason they don’t come after me is because…

They have outsourced the work to a hit squad?

…They know the reality of the game. Women are naturally ahead when it comes to men in both social intelligence and the dating scene. They know the “game” and they’ve already been practicing. They just aren’t aware of it. Women are very intelligent.

And despite that, my wife still married me. Any last words before the combined might of police, educational and religious authorities raid the USC?

The class will help people overcome their shyness and social anxieties. I believe that when you have social freedom, it gives you an enormous amount of power that you would haven’t other gotten with any other (personality development) class. I hope to spread a lot of empowerment over the program.

I hope that’s all you spread.

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For comments, suggestions or ligaw tips from DOMs, please email ledesma.rj@gmail.com. Follow @rjled on Twitter.

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Visit www.attraxionarts.com for more details.