A widow needs extra income
Dear Nanay,
I have been a widow for two years now and life began to change when my husband died. It’s a long story how it really happened, but to make a long story short, my life has had some setbacks. I loved my husband so much that I was not aware that I was losing all my savings and assets trying to revive him when he suffered a fatal brain stroke that turned him comatose. He stayed with me for a year until God took him away.
My three children are well settled now except my youngest, who is 17 years old. He should be in college now but I can hardly support him. I don’t want to be a burden to my children who have their own families. Nanay, could you help me find a job even at my age of 50? I finished my Commercial/Secretarial course and I’ve had some work experience, but that was many years ago. I am tired of working as a franchise dealer.
Mia
Dear Mia,
First of all, if you want a different job, then you will just have to keep trying to find one. Don’t quit. Keep sending out your résumé, do interviews and attend different job fairs. In the meantime, you should be thankful that you at least have a source of income. Even if you are tired of working as a franchise dealer you have to stick with it kasi iyan ang kabuhayan mo ngayon (because that is your livelihood right now). It is very difficult to find a job these days. So if you have a source of income, you need to try and protect it.
However, I think the real solution to your problem is for your three other children to help you with your expenses and for them to contribute to the college education of their youngest brother.
I am sure they will be more than willing to help. You have worked hard all your life to help them get to where they are now, I am sure they will be more than willing to return that kindness to you and their brother in your time of need. I think all you need to do is ask. Think about it: if you cannot depend on family, then who can you depend on?
In the meantime, as I said, kahit sawang-sawa ka na (even if you’re sick of it), hang on to your franchise dealership while you look for a job. You still need the income to keep you going.
Sincerely,
Nanay
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Dilemma Of ‘The Other Woman’
Dear Nanay,
My boyfriend is married and has a family. I will admit po na “kabit” lang ako (that I am just the mistress). My problem is that I want to end the relationship already because I want to start my own family. I don’t blame him and I went into this relationship with both eyes wide open.
My problem is that because of the allowance he gives me, I got used to a higher lifestyle than I could normally afford. I have a steady job, but of course it is different when I have extra income coming from him.
So should I break up already with him even if I am afraid that maybe I will not be able to live the way I am used to?
M
Dear M,
I think the fact that you are having an affair with a married man is already wrong. And if you are doing it just for the extra income and to maintain your “high-living” lifestyle, then there really is no justification for it, especially because you can support yourself anyway.
If you want complete happiness, you need to look for your own love and your own family. Otherwise you will always feel guilty about what you are doing and always be bothered by your conscience. You will never be truly happy.
It is time to call it quits.
Sincerely,
Nanay
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