Let's talk baklese

“I-kluk mo na dyan ang caru. Jojovani Calvo na ako. Mag-e-Egyptian Airlines na lang ako. Imberna Gandhi ako sa iyo!”

That’s baklese or gay lingo, ladies and gentlemen. Here’s an accurate English translation for each sentence mentioned above: “Stop the car. I’ll get off here. I’ll just take the jeep. I’m mad at you!”

But the fun, pun and wit of the abovementioned sentences can be seen when they are translated to Tagalog: “Ihinto (kluk) mo na dyan ang kotse (caru). Bababa (Jovani) na ako. I’ll just take the jeep (Egyptian Airlines). Galit (Imberna) ako sa iyo!”

One of the most dynamic yet informal language models ever to evolve in the country is the baklese, also known as bekimon. If the terms in the opening paragraph of this article seem alien to you, chances are you’ve heard of the following words: chuva, churva, ek-ek, vongga, charot, Charito Solis, echos, akish, itey, anitch or sinitch. For the Pinoys, it is inevitable not to hear any of those words because they are spoken openly on TV, on the streets, in schools and offices, even in homilies of some priests. Like Morse Code, the baklese is a specialized language developed by gay people and very few of their closest heterosexual friends. The language is so colorful and dynamic that, as I write this, more terms are being invented, and yes, added to the growing list in the glossary.

Old baklese terms don’t get obsolete but are reinvented, never redefined. The term for the lingo itself is a classic example. What is bekimon now was “swards speak” in the ‘70s, “badaf or bakla language” in the ‘80s and “dingga language” in the ‘90s. Just like all secret languages, the lingo was spoken by the gay men of the olden times to convey messages without being understood by others who were not part of their sub-culture. The language evolved to become known as bekimon. How? From my vantage point, as a native speaker of the language, here’s my simple understanding of the evolution of terms: from bakla, it became bekla. From bekla it became beki. From beki, it became bekimon. If you speak the language, whether you are gay or not, you are called bekbek.

Some studies say that the gay language is a revolutionary language in a sense that, in the beginning, it was spoken by the marginalized group struggling to make their presence understood and accepted by the society. I am firm in my belief that the gay community now is no longer in the closet but right there on center stage.

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The baklese terms mirror the understanding of its speakers about the society, pop culture, environment, even international politics. It is spoken by gay people from the boardroom to beauty parlors in every barangay in the Philippines.

As wit and humor characterize the baklese language, non-native speakers are advised to pay attention — if they really want to pay attention — to the root word of the terms to get a glimpse of what’s being talked about. And as they jokingly say, if your name has made it to the glossary of baklese words, then you’re made.

Let’s begin our lessons in Baklese 101 by defining simple terms from the ‘70s to the now. Chuva, churva or ek-ek are expressions that can or cannot mean anything. They can be used as a noun, an adjective or a verb. “Anong chuva yan?” is a question asked when you simply want to find out something. “Chinuchurva ko pa yung column ko” now puts meaning to the root word churva. In this case, it means “I’m still finishing my column.” When you say to someone “Kumusta ka?” be ready to get an answer like “Chuva lang.” That means he’s neither good nor bad.

Bongga means good or beautiful or handsome. But handsome can also be gwash (from guapo) and beautiful can be gandix or gandrax (from ganda). Chaka, chap or chapter means ugly.

Charot or etchos can mean many things. It is close to the Pinoy’s expression of “Joke lang.” So you can say, “You look in love. Charot!” If you further want to translate that into baklese: “Mukha kang in-lababo. Charot!” It’s also synonymous with Chenelyn forte.

Common baklese terms are names of celebrities and personalities. Here’s a list of ‘80s dingga terminologies. Julie Vega means to get caught; Lydia de Vega means to run. Jun Polistico means police. So the sentence reads: “Na-Julie Vega sya ng mga Jun Polistico kaya nag Lydia de Vega sya.” It’s common to hear this being said in the same breath: “Pero mabilis syang nakatakbo kaya naka-escape sya from Alcatraz.” 

Here are some baklese terms from the names of famous celebrities and personalities now:

Kim Chiu means “kimkimin ang galit” or bottled up emotions.

Stress Drilon refers to a stressed-out person. (The word was first used in 2008, when TV journalist Ces Drilon was kept hostage by the Abu Sayyaf in Mindanao.)

Hagardo Versoza is haggard.

Hagardina Bonnevie is haggard yet still beautiful.

Tya Nena or Chanda Romero is tiyan or stomach.

Tom Jones, Tommy Hilfiger and Tommy Abuel all mean the same: hungry or gutom.

Busogie Alcasid means busog or full. 

Afraidie Aguilar means afraid.

Dead Madela for deadma or dead malice.

Bill Blass for bilbil or love handles.

Charo Santos Conscious for getting conscious. If you blush after seeing your crush or hearing a joke, you’re getting Charo Santos-Concious.

Smellanie Marquez is to smell.

Pilar Pilapil means to fall in line.

Debrales simply means without bra.

Payatola Khomeini is a skinny person. Majubis is the antonym of Payatola.

Majinit Jackson means hot.

Kainez Veneracion or Kairita Avila means being in an irritating situation.

Carmi Martin is for karma.

Mahalia Mendez is mahal or expensive as opposed to Morayta, which means mura or cheap.

Criselda Volks, selda or prison; Lito Lapid, lips to lips; Aling Puring or Purita Kalaw, poor; Rica Peralejo, rich; Bitter Ocampo, bitter in life; Viveka Babajee, a person with long chin.

Julanis Morissette is ulan or rain. If the rain is strong, it’s called Renee Salud. If it’s a super typhoon, it’s Armida Siguion-Reyna. Remember, everything is in the root word — ulan or rain.

Lady Gaga is for, well, gaga. Nicki Minaj is for ménage a trois.

My friend Chong Ardivilla, a former Humanities professor at the University of the Philippines, says that I should not forget the word “badets” or gay cadets.

Issey Miyake is for nag-iisa or alone.

Cynthia Luster is for “Sino s’ya?”

Janno Gibbs means to give. Budji Layug is for budget. “I-Janno Gibbs mo ako ng Budji Layug so I can finish the project.”

 Kalaban ni Hitler means small. The origin is from the word “Jew,” which sounds like jutay in Visayan dialect, meaning small. So, the bekbeks, knowing Hitler’s relationship with the Jews, arrived with the term — kalaban ni Hitler.

Zsa Zsa Padilla is an expression that is used to end a conversation (“O, s’ya.”) while Teofisto Guingona means to go or to leave. You say “Teofisto” when you bid someone goodbye. Here’s a sentence: Zsa Zsa Padilla, Teofisto Guingona na ako. (Okay, okay. I’m going home now.)

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There are also bekimon terms for different types of cars. Jaguar is a very old term that means security guard — guarja. Subaru means cigarette from the word suba or to suck or puff. Toyota means dry. Honda means old. (Day, ma-honda ka na. Toyota na ang skin mo.) BMW means Buhok Mo Wig.

The baklese language is also well-traveled. Antokyo, Japan means sleepy. Losterdam in Amsterdam is an expression referring to someone who is lost in the conversation or just lost in the middle of the street. Pagoda Philippines (originally a brand of perming lotion) means tired.

PSJ or Panalo sa Japan means someone or something is a winner. Ohio is “Hi!” Peking, China is about copies. Maldives is maldita. Bahasa, Indonesia is baha or flood. Bulgaria means something that bulges or protrudes. Malaysia or Malaysian Airlines means having no knowledge of something. (Question: “Where’s your mom?”; Answer: “Malaysia. Malaysian Airlines.” Malaysia is synonymous with Malaybalay, Bukidnon. Bangbangladesh refers to a very drunk person. Czech Republic means something is approved. Check!

Baklese also knows scientific names. Oryza sativa, the common name of rice, means to wake up or to rise. Mimosa pudica (scientific name of makahiya) means a rumormonger or chismosa. Mangifera indica (common name of mango) means a user or manggagamit.

Akish is ako; ikash is ikaw; itish is ito; ditish is dito.

Wit or wiz is no.

Yesterday, flanguk or flanggana is yes.

Anda or Dats Entertainment is money.

X-men means gay, from the literal translation “former men.” Of course, its synonyms are: Badingger-Z, badesh, badesa, vaklur, beki, bekbek, bekimon. If someone is still in the closet, he’s called berdugo or berde ang dugo. A very handsome macho gay is called bektas or bekham.

Batang X is a young gay boy. He’s also called badette.

Tiburcio, Tumbang preso, Tom Babauta or Tivoli ice cream means tomboy.

Girlitas patatas, girls; umbaw, boys.

Lafuk is food; lafez or lafang is to eat.

Mudrabelles is mother; fudrabelles is father.

Mi-meander, from the Tagalog word memya, means later.Or later lily.

Bigamy is big. Cryola means to cry. Sheraton bed means to share.

Hipon is someone who has a drop-dead gorgeous body but not gifted with a nice face; lollipop means having a nice face with skinny physique.

Pamintang durog is someone who’s gay but does not admit it yet. Ditto with Peppermint Patty.

Thunders, Thunder Cats or Thunder Gozaimas means old. It can also be gurs, guribang or simply loley.

That’s all for now. O bueno, Baby Bueno, Teofisto Guingona na ako!

(Please e-mail me at bumbaki@yahoo.com or my.new.beginnings@gmail.com. You may want to follow me on Twitter @bum_tenorio. Have a happy Sunday!)