On the day Dolphy entered the gates of heaven, God went crazy!

God must be laughing now with gas pains. And He only has Dolphy to blame. We lost the King of Comedy. He now becomes heaven’s gain.

Just like millions of Filipinos, I mourn the passing of Mang Dolphy. But because he left us with a good dose of laughter as his legacy, my sadness is automatically replaced with scenes that I imagine are now taking place in heaven.

Imagine the smile on St. Peter’s face when Dolphy presents himself at the pearly gates of heaven.

St. Peter asks him: “Name please?”

“Rodolfo Vera Quizon Sr. ho. Dolphy for short,” he answers with a smile, the kind that is so open, as open as the sky.

Smiling, too, St. Peter says as his fingers run through his long, unruly beard: “In my book, you’re also known as Facifica Falayfay, John Puruntong, Kevin Cosme, Markova, Pidol. And the list goes on.”

“Those were the characters I portrayed in my more than 66 years as an entertainer in the Philippines,” Dolphy says with his electrifying smile.

“I notice however, that there’s a question mark here on one of the many pages of your accomplishments on earth,” St. Peter continues to ask Dolphy. “National Artist?”

“It doesn’t matter, San Pedro. I already got the National Arthritis award.”

St. Peter laughs so hard. “Welcome to heaven. Make us all happy here,” he says. The pearly gates of heaven are then opened and God personally welcomes Dolphy to His Kingdom.

“Thank you, Lord,” Dolphy says as God leads him to his reserved seat in heaven.

“In gratitude, dear Lord, let me perform for you.”

Before God can say a word, Dolphy starts to strut and tap dance before Him. He makes sure to give the greatest performance of his life. It’s so electrifying that God decides to dance with him. God and Dolphy dance. God and Dolphy laugh. They dance and laugh until everyone in heaven parties with them — including Bayani Casimiro, Tugo & Pugo, Panchito, Babalu, Apeng Daldal, Yoyoy Villame, Teroy de Guzman, Chiquito, Bentot, Dencio Padilla, Chichay, Tange, Balot, Max Alvarado, Palito, Prospero Luna, Rene Requiestas, Redford White, among other Filipino comedians who have gone ahead of him.

Some good bantering ensues when Dely Atay-Atayan enters the scene of revelry with Nida Blanca in tow. God all the more goes crazy when the crowd sings Quincy Jones’ Rubber Ducky, the ubiquitous background music of their TV sitcom John en Marsha.

Dolphy shows more of his funny antics and tap dancing prowess when across the crowded hall of happy heaven he sees his bosom buddy FPJ. The King of Comedy and The King of Philippine Movies embrace and dance while the King of Heaven and Earth shakes his head, while still dancing, in disbelief that even if He is God, a mortal can make Him do crazy things.

* * *

 “I love making people laugh,” Mang Dolphy told me in a one-on-one interview with him at his Marina home in Parañaque City in December 2010. “I have been making people laugh for the last 66 years.” With that, he proved that comedy is serious business.

On the day I interviewed him, Dolphy was in an all-white garb. He just successfully wrestled with a nasty bout of pneumonia but even if he was already well, two industrial oxygen tanks were on standby at the receiving room of his home.

“I was in the airport very early today to pick up my daughter who arrived from the States,” he said. Dolphy had twinkle in his eyes when he talked about his 18 children.

‘I guess I have lasted this long in show business because all throughout my career, I have remained grounded,’ Dolphy said in an interview with the author.

“I am in the winter of my life. I don’t pray anymore for myself. I pray for my entire family’s welfare. Sana maging matatag ang mga buhay ng mga maiiwan ko,” he said. He said his prayers upon waking up were: “Thank you, Lord, for protecting us through the night. Thank you for the blessings.” He said prayer was an intrinsic part of his daily life.

“I know and I feel my children love me. Even if in the past I was not so good a father to them, I feel they love me. Many of my children experienced celebrating Christmas and New Year’s Day without me because I would be abroad working,” he said, referring to the years 1951, 1952 and 1953, the times he was in Japan tap dancing in variety shows to eke out a living.

“I did tap dancing in Japan with Bayani Casimiro. In effect we were the original Japayukis,” he said, laughing. He was uncontainable in his laughter that he experienced slight shortness of breath. His longtime partner Zsa Zsa Padilla came quick with a glass of water. He got the glass from Zsa Zsa but not without caressing her hands first, perhaps his way of showing appreciation to the love of his life — who was always there for him through the many years they were together.

“I feel cold,” he lovingly told Zsa Zsa. She adjusted the aircon’s thermostat and looked at Dolphy with a smile. He winked at her. Then everything became all right.

Mang Dolphy recalled to me in that interview that he was still amazed how he had lasted that long in the business considering that when he was a kid, he was insecure because of his asthma. He admitted to have suffered an inferiority complex because of his ailment that rendered him indisposed for about a week every time he would have an asthma attack.

“But I guess I have lasted this long in show business because all throughout my career, I have remained grounded,” Dolphy said.

I asked him if I could see the “heavy medal” that he got when President Noynoy Aquino bestowed on him the Order of the Golden Heart (Rank of Grand Collar) in November 2010. He excused himself from the interview table, walked very slowly to his room and after a few minutes he came out again with Zsa Zsa carrying a big, flat box that contained his medal.

“Sige, buhatin mo. Mabigat. Luluwa buwa mo,” he jokingly told me as he asked me to lift with my hands his medal. He laughed loud. Then he became introspective.

“Talagang mabuting tao si Pangulong Aquino. Noong panahon ng eleksyon, binato ko siya ng bato. Pagkatapos ng eleksyon, binato niya ako ng tinapay. Hindi ba biyaya ng langit ‘yon?” he said, referring to the fact that in the May 10, 2010 polls, Dolphy campaigned for another presidential candidate.

I asked him about his thoughts about the industry observers’ clamor that he should already be a National Artist. He replied: “I hope I am still alive when that time comes. If it doesn’t come, just give me the National Arthritis award.” Then he smiled.

Humility remained intrinsic in Dolphy. His wellspring of humor was derived from many a humble experience he had in life.

In fact, eating humble pie, so to speak, was his first lesson in showbiz. He tasted it early on when he was cast as an extra in the comedy film They Died to Live, where he played a Japanese soldier. Dolphy was with the production crew for six months in Tiaong, Quezon to shoot the movie. When it was shown in 1944, he was very excited he even brought his father to the movie house to see his “first disastrous starring role.” Towards the end of the film, there still was no Dolphy on the screen, prompting his father to ask: “Are you sure you are in this movie?” Dolphy replied: “Do you see the tip of that rifle, Papang? You don’t see me but I am the one holding that rifle.” He laughed. He and his father laughed at the theater.

Sure, his part in that movie was cut. But Dolphy never gave up. After all, kings are trained never to give up.

“Mahal ako ng nasa itaas. Hindi niya ako pinababayaan. I am so blessed kaya hindi ako bumibitiw sa Kanya,” he told me.

Perhaps, it is the same love he personally showers God now in heaven. I wouldn’t be surprised if God would always make an appointment with the King of Comedy — for his daily dose of laughter. In heaven. 

The King of Comedy is dead. Long live Dolphy!

(For your new beginnings, please e-mail me at bumbaki@yahoo.com. You may follow me on Twitter @bum_tenorio. Have a blessed Sunday!)