Judy Ann Santos on why she has a life coach

MANILA, Philippines — Judy Ann Santos recently shared how actors, despite spending much of their lives in the public eye, go through very personal struggles like everyone else. That was one reason she sought the help of a life coach.

“Hindi kami robot. Hindi kami mannequin na wala kaming pakiramdam,” Judy Ann said. “Normal kami, may pinagdadaanan kami. Ang kaibahan lang, magnified lahat ng nangyayari sa amin.”

At the same time, the actress-host and chef stressed that people don’t have to be going through a crisis before seeking someone who can listen without judgment or prejudice, and offer a different perspective on things.

“Hindi naman kasi kailangan na may pinagdadaanan po. Kung minsan kailangan mo lang ng kausap, yung tamang perspective na manggagaling sa ibang tao, hindi huhusga sa desisyon,” she said.

The STAR got to speak with Judy Ann on the sidelines of the “Moment to Moment with Coach Pia” event recently held at Casa Buenas at Newport.

The event served as a "celebration of a new book, a new chapter and another year of grace" for veteran life coach Pia Acevedo, whom Judy Ann first met years ago while working on an ABS-CBN reality show for couples.

They reconnected in 2018 and, because there was already a level of familiarity and trust between them, Judy Ann decided to tap her as a life coach.

That trust also made it easier to open up about things she might not ordinarily discuss with other people.

“With Coach Pia, walang ganon (awkwardness). Parang siyang may magic,” she said of feeling immediately at ease with her.

“Yun na nga yung first reason. You also find yourself na parang nagsasabi na ako ng something na dapat confidential. Mapagkakatiwalaan.”

She acknowledged that life coaching may still be misunderstood, particularly when getting outside help is immediately associated with having a serious problem.

Judy Ann Santos with veteran life coach Pia, whom she credits for giving her a safe space to talk, gain perspective and be reminded to care for herself while juggling multiple roles.

Photos from Judy Ann Santos’ Facebook page

“Kasi meron tayong notion before, ’di ba? Sa nakikipag-usap sa psychologist, psychiatrist pa lang. Ang tagal naman na siya pero hindi talaga pa siya naiintindihan ng mga tao. Ano ba talaga ang life coach? Coach ka ba niya sa desisyon mo sa buhay?” she said.

“For me, yung opinion ko of having a life coach is it gives you a little bit more clear (and bigger) perspective kung saan mo gustong makarating,” she said.

“Hindi naman kailangan na may pinagdadaanan. Hindi naman porke nakikipag-usap ka sa life coach, you are going through a mental depression or you’re going through an anxiety stage. It’s not always the case.”

In her own experience, what she needed was someone with whom she could talk freely.

“In my case, I just really needed someone to talk to without judging my opinions to myself. Sa sarili ko, hindi sa opinyon ko sa trabaho, sa ibang tao o pamilya. Opinyon ko sa desisyon na gagawin ko with regards to whatever parts of my life,” she said.

She further likened having a coach to having someone who can guide a person through different aspects of life without taking away that person’s freedom to decide.

“May nakakausap na parang kaibigan nga na nagbibigay ng advice because when you have a life coach, you have a guide in so many aspects,” she said.

 “It doesn’t mean naman that you really have to follow kung ano yung sinasabi. At the end of the day, ikaw pa rin naman.”

Perhaps, the most important lesson that Judy Ann learned from life coaching is the importance of not losing herself while fulfilling her many roles.

“More of appreciating yourself, kasi most of the time, we under-appreciate ourselves because we’re very busy in life,” she said.

“Busy ka sa maraming bagay, you tend to forget yourself. So when you talk to someone, this person, most specially po, she (Coach Pia) is the reminder. She’s my reminder.”

One particular reminder from her life coach made her rethink the idea that taking care of her family meant always putting herself last.

“Sa kanya ko talaga unang narinig and nag-stick sa akin: You cannot give what (you don't have)…,” Judy Ann recalled.

She said that she used to work “24/7,” with Holy Week practically her only break. Even birthdays were workdays for her because her mindset was: “Buhay ka pa naman, magtrabaho ka. Magpapahinga ka kapag patay ka na.”

“I was happy doing everything, but deep inside I was slowly losing myself.

“I had to remind myself, paano aalagaan yung mga anak ko at asawa ko kung hindi ko kayang alagaan (sarili ko)?”

She continued, “Akala ko kasi...biglang kalimutan mo na yung sarili mo, i-prioritize mo yung pamilya mo. Hindi pala pwede ’yun. Mabu-burn out (ka).

“Mababaliw ka pala talaga na akala mo wala ka nang tamang ginawa. Wala ka nang — ubos ka na.”

So, with work, business, motherhood, marriage and her responsibilities as a daughter competing for her attention, Judy Ann said she sometimes needed somebody else to remind her to check in with herself.

“Busy ka sa pagiging nanay, busy ka sa trabaho mo, business, pati na rin asawa, sa pagiging anak,” she said.

“Ang nakakalimutan ko yung sarili ko kasi akala ko okay lang naman ako. But I needed that reminder that yes, I needed to give time for this.”

She further illustrated the lesson using the image of trying to give water to others when one’s own supply is already running low.

“Recently ko na lang maintindihan ’yan. Oo nga naman, hindi ka pwedeng mag-share ng tubig kung ang tubig mo paubos na,” she said.

“Pero kung meron kang nag-o-overflow na yung pitcher ng tubig mo, yung baso mo gawin mong pitcher para makapagbigay ka pa, makapag-share, para makapag-alaga ka pa ng mga tao, makapagbigay ka pa ng inspiration.”

Such realization has, likewise, made her more conscious of nurturing self-love.

“Kailangan kong paapawin yung love ko sa sarili ko, yung kindness ko sa sarili ko and basically yung love ko sa crowd, sa maraming bagay, and yung positivity ko,” Judy Ann said.