Four days and a wedding

Culture shapes people into a nation. When one thinks of a population of 1.2 billion, it’s easy to imagine an intriguingly diverse and ancient culture that goes back 5,000 years.

This is India. The birthplace of religious institutions such as Hinduism and Buddhism. For centuries, these religions have been strongly imbedded in the most exotic and colorful societies that make up this mystifying country.

Ayurveda, the only ancient independent scientific system of medicine, and yoga, a process of elevating oneself by calming the mind, are two of the many unique contributions of India to the world. The Indian culture reflects a collective but wide-ranging co-existence of different faiths and practices.

Visiting India had been a long-time dream of mine but for many years, indecision superseded my intention. The hesitation was brought about by what I now realize to be a silly and unfounded fear that by and large came from tales from different (non-Indian as well as Indian) people.

In high school, I had an Indian schoolmate named Maya Gidwani, who remains a good and loyal friend to this day. Her dinner invitations introduced me to popadums, the crispy lentil wafers that I developed a craving for. For the past 20 years or so, Maya knows that a phone call from me automatically includes an order of these crunchy and delicious chips that she would not hear the end of until they are delivered to my house.

Another very close Indian friend, AIM graduate and now CEO of GenDiesel T.R. Mohan, introduced me to the most delicious crab dish in the world. It is a recipe to behold — a selection of ground and powdered spices mixed together and reduced (simmered for a few hours over low fire) to bring about an irresistible aroma and flavor that even those who are not inclined toward Indian food will find themselves savoring. To make his Filipino friends happy, Mohan has also learned to include the three crab species of the Philippines: male, female and bakla or the “in-between,” the last of which is known to have more tender meat.

Through the years, I also met other Indians who have settled in the Philippines and I can only describe them to be very bright people who excel in their fields. Top finance man Mohan Kulkarni and his beautiful wife Kuhkuh whose no-nonsense attitude and friendship have always given me something to ponder on in relation to my own life whenever I am with them. As a food lover, it is always a thrill to be invited to their homes and savor salubrious vegetarian dishes from the different regions of India.

While I drooled for years watching Ian Wright (of Lonely Planet and Globe Trekker fame) visit the different states of India, it was an invitation to a wedding that finally clinched my decision to fly there myself. Learning later that another friend from Manila would join the celebration naturally gave me added comfort.

The wedding invitation stated four days of celebration and the first event started with the Mehindi festivity. The highlight of this occasion involves the henna tattoo, a form of body art that is performed at weddings and other rituals. It is said to be a sacred activity that brings good luck and the temporary markings are usually done on the hands, arms and feet using vegetable dye, which fades after about six days.

When our car stopped in front of the appointed venue, my friends and I looked at each other with great excitement over the visual treat that started at the gate, which was decorated with what seemed to be interminable layers and layers of flowers. After passing through the gate, we saw more flowers beautifully laid in various ornate and paisley shapes right on the ground, which spread to about 1,000 square meters. Despite all the travels I have done in my life, these fresh-flower settings gave me a new and rousing experience.

Priya, the bride, was beautiful in a fresh turquoise sari. She was in high spirits and looked like she was floating with happiness as she led us to our table. I was previously told by another Indian friend that the bride and groom get pretty busy with the traditional rituals that guests are expected to simply go about and enjoy themselves the way they wish.

Colors were in movement all over. From the flowers to the elegant tunics and scarves flowing over Indian saris — the mood was enthralling and charm permeated the affair. The large venue had different things going on at every corner.

By the gate, a staff took charge of the distinct Indian music, a special selection that adapted to a modern beat was the choice of the celebrants. Then there was a large buffet with a team of cooks ready to bake, steam or grill dishes and get them to your plate as fresh and hot as they should be.

In another area were the henna tattoo artists sitting on an elevated platform and working on the hands of guests. There was a long queue leading to it. Nearby, there was a flea market-style spread of sparkling trinkets. A “big mama” lady sat behind the display giving away multi-colored and gleaming bracelets to all the lady guests. As we waited for our turn, we watched in amazement as one Caucasian lady filled her arms with these bracelets almost to her elbows. We decided to be gentler to our arms but the thrill was just too much when we were given about seven inches of these beautiful charms on both arms.

Apparently, this gesture serves as an appreciation gift to the female guests, where a costumed lady is specifically appointed to “embellish and adorn” their arms according to what she instinctively sees to be in harmony with the colors of the guests’ clothes.

Our next stop was the henna artists’ station, which was really stunning. I marveled at how the artists spontaneously applied the tattoo with astonishing precision without using any particular prototype. I read that in many states of India, henna is very much a part of a woman’s life especially during festivals and weddings. But the role of henna goes beyond cosmetic and aesthetic value. It has a deeper meaning to Indian women especially in relation to a wedding when the bride’s hands and feet are decorated in elaborate floral and fertility designs.

Traditionally, it is believed that the length of time the henna stays on the bride’s hand also indicates that the bride is being treated well by her in-laws. Therefore, it is said that the bride’s mother feels a sense of relief when the daughter visits her a few days after the wedding and sees the henna design still on her daughter’s palm.

Certainly, if only for its aesthetic worth, my friends and I, along with the foreign guests, were more than thrilled to have these fabulous looking tattoos on our hands and fingers.

The event of the second day was the groom’s party. A famous bar lounge of a large hotel was the favored venue. The setting was contemporary Asian with a very tranquil mood. I figured that even an Indian wedding has to adapt to modern times, not to mention that the bride and groom are cosmopolitan New Yorkers.

It was an easy evening with wonderful food. Priya and Pran moved around, sat and chatted with all the guests and introduced them to one another. This made for a cozy evening to feel comfortable and familiar with each other as everyone would still be bumping into one another in the next two days of celebration.

The third event was a grand night in a huge ballroom where a stage bedecked with flowers covered every inch of space. A celebration of love, friendship, food and dancing, everyone came in formal attire and jewelry. Once again, colors inevitably embraced the senses.

The fourth night was the formal wedding in a garden setting. The traditional ritual was very long with different symbolic offerings and declarations by the bride and groom in front of a minister.

The bride and groom moved from one gazebo to another to complete the “wedding passage,” with the path leading the entourage and guests to a ballroom-size pergola where a sumptuous buffet was served.

Yes, it was a fabulous and unique Indian treat as only an Indian wedding can be.