Chronicles of cellulite stalled

July 20, 2008 9:00 p.m.

I was checking out some Hollywood gossip websites at work earlier and came across a “news” item about Mischa Barton disputing paparazzi photos that show her bum and thighs all dimply and orange peel-like. She said that the pictures were Photoshopped to give her “the legs and bottom of an 80-year-old.” Anyway, what’s the big deal about having cottage cheese for thighs? As far as I know (not that I know much), cellulite is a cross most women have to bear. Me, I’m just waiting for the day when the (still) pre-cellulite stage of my thighs finally drops the prefix and gives me mushy oatmeal for skin for real. Why fight a losing battle, right?

July 21, 2008 9:15 a.m.

I have been living in stupid delusion. Somehow, I came to the conclusion that I didn’t need to panic yet when it comes to physical appearance because, on paper, I’m still within that age range that Nora Ephron has advised to wear bikinis more often. I thought I still had little more than half a decade left before I get seriously worried. Well, my cruel bitch of a mirror basically threw cold water at my face while I was checking out the back part of a short dress I was planning to wear to work today.

I don’t have just “pre-cellulite.” I have the real thing: unsightly, mushy, dimply orange peel for thighs.

I want to take back everything I’ve said. Cellulite is a big deal! I mean, I can’t wear pants and long skirts everyday for the rest of my life. My cellulite is not yet that bad but it is there, and I know it can only go from bad to worse. Ugh. They say you can’t work out or starve your way out of CelluLand; once you’re in, you’re in it for life. Double ugh. My day is officially ruined.

1:00 p.m.

Been researching online for possible solutions to my problem: creams (dubious), massages (hah!), pills (pass), liposuction (can’t afford), laser treatments (eh).

However, I learned something new today through the Murad website: Cellulite is not so much fat fat as it is a sign of the deterioration of the skin’s vascular system. Its causes: age, stress, environmental irritants, hormonal changes. It has nothing to do with carrying around more pounds than you should.

What’s interesting about it all is that Howard Murad M.D., FAAD, proposes a different way of approaching the problem of cellulite. Given that it is not regular fat, he says that the focus must be on repairing the skin, where cellulite resides. Makes sense. This is what their Murad Cellulite Solution is based on, a regimen that focuses on feeding and hydrating the skin from both the inside and the outside. The website says “Clinical studies show that women who complete the full eight week Murad Cellulite Solution Regimen can reduce the appearance of cellulite by an amazing 69 percent.” Hmmm. Promising. Will check it out within this week.

FYI, I wore pants to work.

July 25, 2008 6:00 p.m.

Had my first of the eight Murad Cellulite Solution treatments earlier today. Was slightly worried when the attendant, Lorena, told me that the treatment is not like the usual relaxing spa session. She also asked if I had shaved my legs that morning. Um, that’s too private a matter, woman!

We started out the session with exfoliation, using the Murad Activating Body Scrub. It has sugar and jojoba beads for smoothing dull and dry skin, cayenne pepper and carnitine to energize skin and stimulate circulation, and tiger’s herb and horse chestnut tea extract to restore firmness and elasticity. Surprisingly, given all the exotic-sounding ingredients in it, the body scrub did not feel irritating or painful at all.

After I rinsed myself off, Lorena prepped my skin with an alcohol toner before applying the Murad Firm and Tone Serum. This serum was the reason why she was asking about my shaving habits: Because it is made out of concentrated vitamin C, any nicks or cuts I might have given myself this morning would feel a hundred times more painful once the serum touches my skin. Speaking of touching, the serum felt unbelievably thick and gooey, as if a layer of oil had permanently soldered itself onto my skin. It didn’t help that I had to be wrapped in a plastic sheet for eight minutes before I could rinse the serum off; I was itching in places I couldn’t reach.

According to the Murad website, the Firm and Tone Serum contains encapsulated liposomes that deliver active ingredients to skin. Such ingredients are cayenne pepper, horse nut tree extract, tiger’s herb, and cat’s claw, an extract from the Amazonian palm forest that reduces the appearance of dimpled skin associated with cellulite. It all sounds very impressive, and the serum’s thick texture, as uncomfortable as it was, made me believe in the efficacy it promises.

After another bath, Lorena then slathered the Murad Body Firming Cream on me. Containing vitamin C for increased skin elasticity and radiance, shea butter for intense hydration, and soy flour and oat beta glucan to firm and tone the skin, this body cream has a distinct…clinical smell. I spent the whole day smelling as if I had been to a doctor’s appointment. It was a very nice cream overall, as it didn’t leave me feeling greasy.

Lorena told me to schedule my second treatment a week after today, at the latest. I guess I have a date with Murad next week, then.

Week 2 Aug. 6, 2008 7:15 p.m.

So, I didn’t schedule my second treatment on the date that I should have. My attendant berated me for it. I had no excuse to offer, except that I forgot.

We did the same sequence today, though I realized now what Lorena meant when she said that the treatment is not quite as relaxing as one would expect. Whenever applying the scrub, the serum, or the cream on my skin, she had to ask me to raise my legs straight up in order to apply the products evenly on my thighs and butt. It’s not really a treatment session where you can go to sleep, although the part where I get wrapped up like a burrito became nap time for me today.

I haven’t checked yet to see if my two sessions have produced the desired results. Given my scheduling faux pas, I think I’d have to wait after a couple of treatments first before I see anything good. In the meantime, pants it is for the rest of the week.

Week 3 Aug. 16, 2008 8:00 p.m.

Third session earlier today. I’m getting the hang of the treatment session already. I still haven’t checked the backs of my thighs yet, but I can notice a difference in my skin. It’s smoother than before, it doesn’t get dried out as easily as it used to, and it looks healthier. Lorena said those were indications that the products are working. I’m very much inclined to agree.

Week 4 Aug. 23, 2008 6:30 p.m.

I have an upcoming beach trip and I am fairly confident that with half of my eight-week treatment already over, I can wear my two piece with pride. I peeked at the mirror this morning and, surprise, surprise! My thigh dimples have noticeably diminished. Before anyone says “placebo effect,” just shut it, all right?

Week 5 Aug. 30, 2008 5:00 p.m.

The beach was fun, thanks for asking, and I don’t think I’ve ever been exfoliated as much as I had been the three days I spent by the water. My new Murad attendant (forgot her name) told me I have really smooth skin. Aw, shucks, thanks.

I think I might feel really sad once I finish my whole cellulite treatment. I am really enjoying the feel of my new skin. It’s not as easily irritated with denim and it feels softer all over. I think, given all these other benefits that the Murad treatment has given me, getting a smooth butt and pair of thighs is just a bonus.

Oops, spoke too soon. Saw another picture of Mischa Barton who is only 22 years old. Lord, please, spare me from the fate of her thighs.

Week 6 Sept. 6, 2008 7:10 p.m.

I still have two more cellulite treatments and, already, I am feeling the pains of Murad withdrawal. Whoever said that inner beauty is more important than physical appearance must have never had experienced a good skin treatment, like, ever. Feeling as if I had stepped into an entirely new skin does me a world of good. For instance, I’m not as self-conscious as I used to be whenever I strut out of the house wearing a mini-skirt (yes, they’re back in my closet rotation), a first since that day when my mirror betrayed me. It has also helped me become more empathetic with women who don shorts without checking first if they ought to expose their thighs to the public in the first place. I was them once, you know. Okay, so I’m just a few less dimples ahead of them, but still. You have to give me points for empathy.

Week 7 Sept. 16, 2008 10:00 p.m.

I checked out my butt before going to bed. I have to say, if I were a man, I’d hit on myself. Kidding. The truth is I have never been as happy with my body as I am right now. Sure, I could lose a pound or two — or 10 — but nothing says youth better than smooth, firm, toned skin. If assless chaps became all the rage tomorrow, I just might buy into that trend. As of now, I just enjoy keeping this nice little secret that underneath my clothes is skin that can beat Mischa Barton’s.

Week 8 Sept. 23, 2008 6:40 p.m.

My last treatment was today and it’s a bittersweet experience. Before going to treatment, I took a long, hard look at the backs of my thighs. We’ve sure come a long way — 10 weeks to be exact. Lorena had told me that to keep cellulite at bay permanently, one would have to do a daily application of the Murad Cellulite Solution products and to exfoliate using the Murad scrub twice a week. She also gave me a tip that in smoothing on the serum and the body cream, it is best to do it in an upward motion, in order to counter the effects of gravity on the skin.

I can say with certainty that the eight-week promise of the Murad Cellulite Solution has fulfilled itself. It also delivers more than just cellulite removal; its greatest benefit is rejuvinating the skin and making it healthier all over. Dr. Murad’s way of addressing a vanity problem — because cellulite is fatal only to one’s ego — has helped me understand better the problem of spot treatment. Why work on just a cog on a wheel when you can improve the whole machine, right?

Now, if I could just be disciplined enough to maintain the state of my cellulite-free thighs.

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Murad is available at Rustan’s Makati, Shangri-La Plaza and Alabang Town Center. Murad Spa is located at the 5/L Rustan’s Makati. Call 816-1806 for information.