Is there a cure for a broken heart?
March 23, 2007 | 12:00am
Dear Mai Mai, China And Tingting,
My boyfriend and I broke up two weeks ago. It’s been so heartbreaking because he’s my first boyfriend and we were together for about nine months. As far as I know, there’s no third party involved and we broke up only because of our lack of communication. He’s based in Manila and I’m working in the province and we see each other twice a month, sometimes less. He also doesn’t text regularly saying he’s busy or he has no load. We broke up for the same reason three months ago, but he begged me to give him another chance, so I did, but nothing changed. It took me some time to choose a boyfriend because I wanted him to be my first and last love, but it didn’t work out the way I dreamed it would be. Now I’m sad but also angry and disappointed. Is it true that first love doesn’t die? How do you mend a broken heart? Will I ever get over this?
Working Girl
Of course you’ll get over this. After all, doesn’t time heal all wounds? However, it’s true that getting yourself together after a breakup is a real challenge. So my first advice is  give yourself time to grieve. You had some dreams that were broken and that’s enough reason to feel sad. Don’t pretend that everything is okay. Cry if you must, talk to a good friend, or even write your thoughts down. Just don’t bottle everything up. Then, in the process of healing yourself, think of the reasons that made this relationship fail and learn from them. Make a conscious effort to move on. This means opening yourself to new opportunities. Surely, you weren’t able to do everything you wanted when you were committed to him. Do those things you failed to do or things you thought you shouldn’t have done then. For example, go watch a movie with some friends, open yourself to new suitors, go out on group dates and widen your social circle. Don’t stay home and wait for the roof to cave in. Go out and enjoy being single. Life goes on.
China
I feel that you’re more angry than sad that your first love is not turning out to be your everlasting one. I think many women dream of this and while some have been successful, others just aren’t so lucky. Sometimes, it just isn’t meant to be. But don’t dwell on something that’s over and done with. You’ve decided to end the relationship and maybe it’s for the best too. I can’t imagine establishing a good relationship with a boyfriend who’s far away. And this being your first relationship just made it a lot tougher. But, there’s an upside here. Since you see each other rarely, I don’t think it’ll take a lot of adjustments from you. Technically, you had a boyfriend, but his absence will be nothing new to you. Will this first love die? I guess you always go back and remember that first relationship. So my answer is maybe not, but the feelings will fade, eventually. Will you ever get over this? Yes, but it’s up to you as to how soon you’ll recover.
Mai Mai
Because it is your first relationship, I don’t think you were equipped with the right knowledge nor the maturity and strength necessary to push a long-distance relationship forward. These relationships are not impossible but really hard to sustain. It is especially difficult if you’re the only one making an effort to make it work. Your ex’s reason that he was either too busy or didn’t have load is, in my opinion, lame. It seems that he didn’t want to put enough energy into keeping the relationship alive so you’re probably better off breaking up. Recovering fast requires you to do three things: keep in mind that he didn’t care enough to salvage your dying relationship, realize that you were actually fighting a losing battle and know that there’s someone out there who actually deserves you. Stop second-guessing yourself. Stop thinking of the "what ifs," the "what could haves" or "what should have beens." Get him out of your system by getting busy with something else. And don’t worry about not getting over him because you will. Remember, what doesn’t kill you will make you stronger.
Tingting
My boyfriend and I broke up two weeks ago. It’s been so heartbreaking because he’s my first boyfriend and we were together for about nine months. As far as I know, there’s no third party involved and we broke up only because of our lack of communication. He’s based in Manila and I’m working in the province and we see each other twice a month, sometimes less. He also doesn’t text regularly saying he’s busy or he has no load. We broke up for the same reason three months ago, but he begged me to give him another chance, so I did, but nothing changed. It took me some time to choose a boyfriend because I wanted him to be my first and last love, but it didn’t work out the way I dreamed it would be. Now I’m sad but also angry and disappointed. Is it true that first love doesn’t die? How do you mend a broken heart? Will I ever get over this?
Working Girl
Of course you’ll get over this. After all, doesn’t time heal all wounds? However, it’s true that getting yourself together after a breakup is a real challenge. So my first advice is  give yourself time to grieve. You had some dreams that were broken and that’s enough reason to feel sad. Don’t pretend that everything is okay. Cry if you must, talk to a good friend, or even write your thoughts down. Just don’t bottle everything up. Then, in the process of healing yourself, think of the reasons that made this relationship fail and learn from them. Make a conscious effort to move on. This means opening yourself to new opportunities. Surely, you weren’t able to do everything you wanted when you were committed to him. Do those things you failed to do or things you thought you shouldn’t have done then. For example, go watch a movie with some friends, open yourself to new suitors, go out on group dates and widen your social circle. Don’t stay home and wait for the roof to cave in. Go out and enjoy being single. Life goes on.
China
I feel that you’re more angry than sad that your first love is not turning out to be your everlasting one. I think many women dream of this and while some have been successful, others just aren’t so lucky. Sometimes, it just isn’t meant to be. But don’t dwell on something that’s over and done with. You’ve decided to end the relationship and maybe it’s for the best too. I can’t imagine establishing a good relationship with a boyfriend who’s far away. And this being your first relationship just made it a lot tougher. But, there’s an upside here. Since you see each other rarely, I don’t think it’ll take a lot of adjustments from you. Technically, you had a boyfriend, but his absence will be nothing new to you. Will this first love die? I guess you always go back and remember that first relationship. So my answer is maybe not, but the feelings will fade, eventually. Will you ever get over this? Yes, but it’s up to you as to how soon you’ll recover.
Mai Mai
Because it is your first relationship, I don’t think you were equipped with the right knowledge nor the maturity and strength necessary to push a long-distance relationship forward. These relationships are not impossible but really hard to sustain. It is especially difficult if you’re the only one making an effort to make it work. Your ex’s reason that he was either too busy or didn’t have load is, in my opinion, lame. It seems that he didn’t want to put enough energy into keeping the relationship alive so you’re probably better off breaking up. Recovering fast requires you to do three things: keep in mind that he didn’t care enough to salvage your dying relationship, realize that you were actually fighting a losing battle and know that there’s someone out there who actually deserves you. Stop second-guessing yourself. Stop thinking of the "what ifs," the "what could haves" or "what should have beens." Get him out of your system by getting busy with something else. And don’t worry about not getting over him because you will. Remember, what doesn’t kill you will make you stronger.
Tingting
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