Best and worst part of being a SAHM

Stay-at-home mom. Work-at-home mom. Full-time mom. Domestic diva. Whatever you call us, we're all the same potato. For this instance, let’s stick with the term stay-at-home mom, or SAHM for short.

Let me begin by saying I WAS a working mom. I've been there and I enjoyed it immensely. It was one of the most gratifying experiences I've had that helped me become who I am today. I really have high respects for working moms. 

I believe that being a SAHM is a privilege and a choice. I have friends who can well afford to just “stay home and do nothing” but still chose to work. Whatever we decide to do, and to be, has its own rewards and sacrifices. A stay-at-home mom is not any better, or any less, than a working mom and vice versa. We should learn to respect each other's choices since all mothers are, in fact, super women!

I was working full time in advertising and PR before I had my first child. Circumstances led me to wholeheartedly decide TO BE a SAHM. It was a decision that my husband and I made, and that is very important.

It’s not easy!

It's challenging, indulgent, exhausting, and fulfilling all at the same time. It also breeds procrastination. My time revolves around the kids' and my husband's needs, home management like running errands, trip to the grocery, tutoring, cooking, household bookkeeping, unending organizing, and the list goes on, plus a bit of “me” time squeezed in between. Of course, there are days when I fail to accomplish some things that needed to be done. I’m not perfect. The key is really time management and knowing my priorities. 

At times, I still reminisce about my working days and how I was then, but I can never regret choosing to be a SAHM. I remember being told by our doctor that a child’s first six years is the “golden years” in which they can be molded, and the home and the environment can make the most impact in their development and overall well-being. I'm really fortunate that I was there for my children every step of the way, that's the best part. It's priceless.

‘You're just at home, you're not doing anything.’ (I hate this)

There are numerous scenarios where I get this kind of retort. I can't blame them since aside from "taking care of the kids," they can't really see the small stuff that "color" our daily lives. I’m actually busier than when I was working!

At this point, I'm content with doing small projects on the side to keep me sane, and maybe when the kids are older, I can take on bigger opportunities that might come my way.

So what's the best and worst part of being a SAHM / WAHM (work-at-home mom)?

I asked these moms to share their sentiments. Be enlightened.

C: Best part of a SAHM is personally caring for my kids; worst is the guilt for not contributing financially.

J: It's tougher because we become the disciplinarian and not all the time the kids listen. We can become "losyang" (frumpy) so better take care of ourselves too. The good thing is the kids are more secure knowing their parent is always around.

R: Best and worst is being with the kids. Next best thing – NO dress code!

J: Best: Flexi-time (errands on non-peak hours), more active in schools, less stress, cheaper (no office wear, less eating out); Worst: Office hours are undefined; it runs into long hours and weekends, kids see you at home and tend to interrupt "office time" at the wrong time.

N: Best part: I saw every stage of development since they were babies, teens until after college. Loved every minute of it. Downside: Gave up a career, lesser income but temporary. I got it all back and more after kids graduated from college.

M: Worst: With kids 24/7, tendency to procrastinate, work overlapping with kids. Best: Flexi-time, with the kids as they grow, make healthy meals my way.

B: I'm where my son needs me.

C: Best part of being a SAHM is being able to see the milestones of my kids life and developing a close relationship with them; Worst is when we can't have much time for ourselves due to high demand of our attention and nonstop work between kids, chores.

T: I get to supervise what my son is doing the whole day. However, too much distractions at home. It takes great discipline to be able to finish work.

K: Best thing is being able to watch my son grow, never missing a milestone or achievement. I can proudly say that whatever he knows now, he learned it first from me (academically). Worst thing: there's a common misconception: "Andyan ka lang sa bahay, wala ka naman ginagawa; sarap ng buhay, housewife..." (You're just there at home, not doing anything; good life, a housewife). But in reality, it's difficult to focus on the kid, add to that the issues with managing helpers, and it's so hard to think of what food prepare everyday!

M: Best thing about a SAHM – being able to see your kids grow up, and just be there for them. Worst thing? The trade-off is you feel like you’re stagnating at home!

C: Best: Spending time with your kids and being able to influence them.

Worst: There’s also a strong tendency to take them for granted because we spend too much time together.

P: Best: Seeing your kids grow right before your eyes. And also, it’s okay not to take a bath for days! Worst: Separation anxiety, not for the kids but more on my side since I’m a SAHM, it’s hard for me to leave the kids even under the care of my mother. “Hindi tuloy maka-lakwatsa ng madalas!” (Can’t go out more often).

C: Best about being a SAHM: More time for family. Worst: I don't get to dress up anymore.

A: Best thing about being a SAHM is the joy of seeing your kids grow every second of the day. Worst thing is that it's a non-paying job.

Enough said.