Become resilient
FROM MY HEART - Barbara Gonzalez-Ventura (The Philippine Star) - April 22, 2018 - 12:00am

Sometimes as women grow older we worry about what we did to our children. If we don’t, I really think we would not to be able to correct whatever harm we may have caused them except by apologizing for our errors, to let them know that we did not set out to deliberately hurt them. Circumstances made us do those things.

I was a working mother. Not a part-time job, always fulltime jobs because I had to earn the money for the family to live on. Sometimes I would get home so tired I would ask my children to allow me an hour in my room to sleep or rest alone before I could join them for talk and laughter. Consequently — or so I think, anyway — my children have grown up to be independent; so independent that sometimes I feel I have no children.

 But once in a while one of them reaches out, as my daughter did recently, inviting me to hear a seminar she was giving, one that she had studied formally for in the US. She was giving more or less a dry run and she wanted me to be present to give my comments. That daughter is my third one, Panjee Gonzalez Tapales, and the seminar that I attended was on a subject I heard as “Heart Math.”

 What is ‘Heart Math’? I wondered then. Can the human heart compute? Apparently, Heart Math is an institute that does research on the heart’s role in our optimal performance or the way we behave. Once upon a time scientists declared that the brain was responsible for the way we behaved.  Now there is a school of thought that says no, it’s the heart. That doesn’t surprise women. We instinctively know we must follow our hearts. We don’t decide without considering our feelings. When you are offered a job that meets your logical/brain criteria, what do you do if your heart doesn’t like it? I’ll bet if you’re a woman, you don’t take it.

My daughter Panjee’s seminar is called “The Resilience Advantage.” There you will learn practical tools and strategies to strengthen your resiliency and improve your decision-making. You will walk away with concrete practices that will increase your well-being, mental clarity and emotional stability. You know very well how important these are. I know how important mental clarity and emotional stability are from my selling of StemEnhance Ultra. Some clients drive me up the wall with their lack of mental clarity and emotional stability.

Panjee may not forgive me for mentioning this but they have a tiny tool that measures your heart’s happiness. She shows you the technique of how to measure it. That is a delightful part of the seminar. It shows you one of the things you can do to calm yourself when you’re faced with change and uncertainty. It shows you how to better access your intuition so you can make better decisions. This seminar will give you practical ideas for easily integrating valuable tools into your everyday routines.

She will be giving this seminar on Saturday, April 28, at the Meeting Room 1 of The Rockwell Club from 9 a.m. to 6 p.m. The cost of the seminar is P6,000 and it is worth every centavo. It includes your lunch and a workbook that’s very easy to manage. If interested, email If you do it today, she will give you an early bird rate of P5,500 for the seminar if paid by April 23.

What is “resilience,” anyway? I looked it up in Wikipedia and found it means the ability of a system (or a person) to withstand changes in its environment and still function. Like, what changes? Like your youngest son going to college in London and leaving you alone in an empty house. What are you going to do next? How do you fill your new empty nest? Or your husband suddenly dies and you don’t know what to do with yourself? Or your boyfriend of three years has gotten another girl pregnant and now will marry her leaving you exactly nowhere. Those are some major changes.

There’s also what Wikipedia calls “psychological resilience,” an individual’s ability to adapt in the face of adverse conditions. Pretty much the same thing if you ask me. Or maybe if you’re Vice President Leni Robredo or Chief Justice Maria Lourdes Sereno. How do you not lose your cool facing what they face? Or if you own a hotel in Boracay?

Or if you’re lonely and don’t know what to do. I think this seminar might help you look at the wider picture and find something new that you enjoy doing and find means of exploring those activities. Especially if you have just retired and are depressed. This seminar will make you look at things differently.

If that’s not enough of a sales pitch, my daughter Panjee is a very attractive, highly intelligent woman. You will enjoy yourself just listening to her speak. So go for it!

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