Facebook, e-mail no match for intimate dinners

DEAR NANAY,

I read your column every week and it is only this last week that I had a sudden urge to e-mail you after I read the letter that was sent by Gina that said we should try to spend more time with our friends and family throughout the year and not just during the Christmas season. I suddenly felt the urge to write because coincidentally this was my New Year resolution for myself this 2013. Like everyone else I was attending countless reunions and Christmas parties this December and I have the extra pounds to show for it!  But at the end, I realized how much fun I have with my old high school and college barkadas, and from my past workplaces and jobs. It was so much fun to meet up with these friends I have made in the past that me and my friends promised that we would meet up more often. It doesn’t have to be like every week or even every month but maybe every quarter would be enough. Just to catch up to each other. 

It is funny that everyone says we are so connected these days because of e-mail and Facebook but it seems like we are more disconnected than ever also because of e-mail and Facebook. I think that these are wonderful tools to have when you live across the globe in Europe or America and you want to stay connected with friends. But let me tell you from personal experience that one year of Facebook and e-mail can never match just a couple of hours over dinner with your “bestest” friends from the past.

MENCHIE

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Learning about child custody the hard way

DEAR NANAY,

I want to make a comment on the letter by pjkryst regarding custody of children.

My sister went through almost exactly the same thing she is going through now. She got pregnant and at first the man was showing no interest in the child. A few years later, all of a sudden, he was starting to try and get custody of the child and threatened to file a case against my sister! 

Calling pjkryst! The best advice I can give you is first, pray that the man never comes back and does not communicate with you. Anyone who can abandon their child and then try to come back later because they claim to be “regretting their decision” and feel “remorse” can only be trouble! My second advice is to consult a lawyer the minute the man starts trying to communicate again. Do not wait till next week and do not wait till tomorrow! You never know what he has planned and he might be trying to work his way back into the child’s life only to try to get custody of the child and maybe use that to blackmail you.

I am not saying do not have contact or do not let the child meet the father. All I am saying is that you have to be extra careful because your actions today might be interpreted differently than what you had intended. Maybe you are just trying to be nice today but if the case goes to court, your actions in the past might be interpreted to mean something else by the judge.  Better to be safe than sorry!

Been there, done that and learned the hard way.

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