The worry Wart
March 31, 2003 | 12:00am
I only have a few luho (luxury) in life. I am basically easy to please and I don’t pamper myself that much. I can live with fast food burgers, non-branded T-shirts and ordinary soaps, and scootering to work. But when my schedule permits and I do get that rare chance to treat myself, I rush to my favorite luho – a visit to my favorite dermatologist, Dr. Helen Milla, who heads Mohesaka, the health and beauty center of the stars (I’m the only non-celebrity client, I think). Nothing beats the stress out of my body better than a good facial rubbing, industrial-strength eye therapy, and a high-powered zit removal courtesy of Dr. H.
Apart from tuning-up my face, there’s another good reason why I like going to Mohesaka Derm Clinic. They also cure me from being a worry wart.
You see, even if my articles give the impression that I’m easy-going, I am not. I probably worry more than the average guy. I thought I was the worry wart champion – until I met my wife. It now works like this: I worry about her worrying about me and she worries about me worrying about her.
Worrying has been the story of my life. I am a bit ashamed to admit this, but when I was a kid, I used to get really worried when my older brothers or sisters would come home late. I probably got it from my mom, the ultimate worry machine. If my brother Nilo said that he would be home at 12 a.m., and it was already 12:01, my mom would start saying, "Haay nako (sigh), I wonder where Nilo is. I hope nothing happened to him." And since Nilo always came home late, you could imagine how many times I had to hear this line from my mom.
My being a worry wart had a good side too. Because I always conjured the worst-case scenario, I always gave special attention to every detail in everything to make sure that the worst didn’t happen. I bet that the main reason why I did relatively well in school and I am now doing OK in my career is because I am always worried that I might become a failure. And this worrying motivates me no end.
However, I also know that worrying is not a healthy thing. In fact, it may even be sinful. The Good Book warns us about the dangers of worrying too much – that we shouldn’t be worried about what we should eat, what we should wear – and that we shouldn’t worry about tomorrow because today has worries of its own. It tells us that a man can never add a single iota to his life by worrying. I am aware of all of this. But just like any other principle in life — it’s easier said than done.
The good news is, most of the things that we worry about are really of no consequence. A lot of people are worried about trivial stuff. And a lot of us are worried about big things — but have no real major consequence in our lives. Like the Iraq war. A lot of people are worried about this war. But really, unless you have a loved one in Baghdad or if Saddam Hussein is your long lost twin brother (heaven forbid), I really don’t think you should lose sleep over it and stop living. Life has to go on – and if you’re just going to sulk, watch CNN 24 hours a day and worry about how a war that’s happening thousands of miles away will impact on your life, you’re really better off just sleeping the rest of your life. Yes, we should be concerned. But worried? I don’t think it’s worth it. Sure, we should be thinking about the people there. Sure, we should be praying that there be minimal casualties and that there be an immediate end to the war.
Here’s another bit of good news. Even if you do have worries, and they are valid, important matters, always remember this: Whatever it is, it will always pass. If the ultimate consequence doesn’t result in the death, disability or severe sickness of someone I love or myself, then I try to let it slide. If you’re worried about people talking bad about you, let it slide.
How do you let your worries slide? There’s no quick solution really. But I’ve learned that a diversion is always good. And an effective diversion is to stick around with people: (1) who are not part of the situation you are worrying about; (2) who are always happy and cheerful; (3) who will give you a positive twist on everyday problems.
Which brings me back to my favorite luho – my monthly facial. Dr. Helen and her husband Dr. Dan Milla (who, incidentally, is my wife’s ultimate optimist Ob Gyn) relieve us from our daily stress. They are the ultimate cheerleaders in our lives. They’re both lively and spirited – and whenever we are there, they don’t treat us like patients – but friends. They bring their four charming kids to their clinic and they play with them like those families you see in TV commercials. Their happiness is so genuine – it’s contagious.
Are you a worry wart too? Don’t fret too much. Whatever you are worrying about, it will pass. And if it doesn’t pass right away, well, there’s always a diversion you can take to relieve yourself momentarily. Go out with genuine friends. Go out of town. We all need to do something different in order to distract ourselves from all our everyday concerns.
Remember: There’s only a slight difference between the words "Worrier" and "Warrior." Either you worry or you fight with a smile on your face.
What are you?
Thanks for your letters, folks! You may write me at nepomucenor@mtv-asia.com. By the way, if you want to have the same diversion I have, call Dr. Helen Milla at Mohesaka Health and Beauty Centre at 721-4235 or 6756. See you there!
Apart from tuning-up my face, there’s another good reason why I like going to Mohesaka Derm Clinic. They also cure me from being a worry wart.
You see, even if my articles give the impression that I’m easy-going, I am not. I probably worry more than the average guy. I thought I was the worry wart champion – until I met my wife. It now works like this: I worry about her worrying about me and she worries about me worrying about her.
Worrying has been the story of my life. I am a bit ashamed to admit this, but when I was a kid, I used to get really worried when my older brothers or sisters would come home late. I probably got it from my mom, the ultimate worry machine. If my brother Nilo said that he would be home at 12 a.m., and it was already 12:01, my mom would start saying, "Haay nako (sigh), I wonder where Nilo is. I hope nothing happened to him." And since Nilo always came home late, you could imagine how many times I had to hear this line from my mom.
My being a worry wart had a good side too. Because I always conjured the worst-case scenario, I always gave special attention to every detail in everything to make sure that the worst didn’t happen. I bet that the main reason why I did relatively well in school and I am now doing OK in my career is because I am always worried that I might become a failure. And this worrying motivates me no end.
However, I also know that worrying is not a healthy thing. In fact, it may even be sinful. The Good Book warns us about the dangers of worrying too much – that we shouldn’t be worried about what we should eat, what we should wear – and that we shouldn’t worry about tomorrow because today has worries of its own. It tells us that a man can never add a single iota to his life by worrying. I am aware of all of this. But just like any other principle in life — it’s easier said than done.
The good news is, most of the things that we worry about are really of no consequence. A lot of people are worried about trivial stuff. And a lot of us are worried about big things — but have no real major consequence in our lives. Like the Iraq war. A lot of people are worried about this war. But really, unless you have a loved one in Baghdad or if Saddam Hussein is your long lost twin brother (heaven forbid), I really don’t think you should lose sleep over it and stop living. Life has to go on – and if you’re just going to sulk, watch CNN 24 hours a day and worry about how a war that’s happening thousands of miles away will impact on your life, you’re really better off just sleeping the rest of your life. Yes, we should be concerned. But worried? I don’t think it’s worth it. Sure, we should be thinking about the people there. Sure, we should be praying that there be minimal casualties and that there be an immediate end to the war.
Here’s another bit of good news. Even if you do have worries, and they are valid, important matters, always remember this: Whatever it is, it will always pass. If the ultimate consequence doesn’t result in the death, disability or severe sickness of someone I love or myself, then I try to let it slide. If you’re worried about people talking bad about you, let it slide.
How do you let your worries slide? There’s no quick solution really. But I’ve learned that a diversion is always good. And an effective diversion is to stick around with people: (1) who are not part of the situation you are worrying about; (2) who are always happy and cheerful; (3) who will give you a positive twist on everyday problems.
Which brings me back to my favorite luho – my monthly facial. Dr. Helen and her husband Dr. Dan Milla (who, incidentally, is my wife’s ultimate optimist Ob Gyn) relieve us from our daily stress. They are the ultimate cheerleaders in our lives. They’re both lively and spirited – and whenever we are there, they don’t treat us like patients – but friends. They bring their four charming kids to their clinic and they play with them like those families you see in TV commercials. Their happiness is so genuine – it’s contagious.
Are you a worry wart too? Don’t fret too much. Whatever you are worrying about, it will pass. And if it doesn’t pass right away, well, there’s always a diversion you can take to relieve yourself momentarily. Go out with genuine friends. Go out of town. We all need to do something different in order to distract ourselves from all our everyday concerns.
Remember: There’s only a slight difference between the words "Worrier" and "Warrior." Either you worry or you fight with a smile on your face.
What are you?
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