The last breakfast

The roosters had just crowed their first for the day when Mildred (not her real name) took it as her alarm to get up from bed to prepare breakfast. She could have snuggled some more beside her live-in partner Timothy (not his real name) — it was Sunday after all, no work for him — but she hurried all the more to the kitchen when the roosters in their neighbor’s backyard crowed incessantly.

In her rushed trip to the washroom, she noticed a small blotch of dried blood below her chin as she brushed her teeth. She allowed the refreshing foam of the toothpaste to water down the blood. She did not want to even touch it. She splashed her face, her eyes orbited with dark bags, with cold running water. Again, she did not even bother to take out the stain below her chin. 

She was quiet as she pounded some garlic in the kitchen using mortar and pestle. Then she prepared the leftover rice to make garlic fried rice. Next, she fried some dried squid, the favorite of Timothy. She made sure the dried squid would not stay for over a minute in the pan. She wanted it perfect for Timothy.

Her hands were feeble but they managed to reach out for some canned food in their makeshift cupboard at home. There were two cans of corned beef, a can of sardines, and a can of pork and beans. Using the tip of a sharp knife, she opened the cans. The corned beef, she cooked with a lot of onions, the way Timothy wanted his corned beef. She made the sardines into an omelet, the way Timothy wanted his sardines omelet. As for the pork and beans, she just poured it into a bowl that had vein-like crack all over it.

The sumptuous aroma in the kitchen could have prompted Timothy to get up from bed. There was tentative excitement on his feet when he walked to the kitchen. There he found Mildred. No words were said. He tried to embrace her. She just let him be. She was still busy making sardines omelet.

Timothy began to set the table. Mildred cautioned him, “Ako na. Maligo ka na.”

He reasoned that it was a Sunday, he was not in a hurry. He would just stay home. He would stay home with his beloved partner Mildred, whom he would call his wife when he had enough money to marry her in church. He felt he was ready to marry her this year.

Mildred continued setting the table. She did not forget to make some juice out of the powdered orange juice in the ref. At their humble TV room, Timothy tuned in to an MTV channel, even whistled along familiar tunes.

“Kakain na. Halika na,” Mildred called him.

“Wow! Fiesta!” Timothy remarked at the feast before him.

It was a quiet breakfast at 6:30 in the morning.

Timothy burped his way to watching the television again after breakfast. Mildred was left in the kitchen.

“Anong gusto mong lunch? Ako naman ang magluluto,” Timothy hollered from the TV room. 

Mildred approached him. She turned off the TV.

“Nakikipaghiwalay na ako sa iyo. Ayoko na,” an emotionless Mildred told Timothy, her voice in monotone mode. “Inilagay ko na lahat ng mga damit mo sa bag. Nasa labas na.”

That Sunday breakfast was the last meal the couple shared.

***

Mildred and Timothy, both in their early thirties, shared a life for seven years. They were childless, although Timothy had a child from a previous relationship. Ever since they decided to be together, they met in 2006 in a factory in Biñan, Laguna where both of them worked as quality control inspectors, the two lived in Mildred’s house in Cabuyao. Just the two of them. 

Mildred’s father died in 2005 and after a year, her mother found another relationship and settled in the neighboring town of Santa Rosa. Mildred was an only child. Timothy, a man blessed with the face of Narcissus, left his hometown Pangil when he was in his early twenties. He had very minimal communication with his family back home.

“I was still depressed due to the passing of my father when I met Timothy,” Mildred said in the vernacular. “He swept me off my feet. He was handsome, tall, sweet and caring. He told me everything about him — his past relationships, his child, his dreams.” They were steady for six months before they decided to settle together.

After a year and a half of living together, Timothy slowly showed a different side of him. It started with him enjoining the love of his life for a round of beer at home. When he got tipsy, he said hurting remarks to Mildred. But when his intoxication wore off, he was back to his sweet self. Mildred was never remiss in telling Timothy to control and be mindful of his budding habit for drinking beer. She, in time, had learned to turn a deaf ear to his irritable partner.

When he became jealous of Mildred’s job and the other men in the factory, he forced her to resign from work. He managed to provide for Mildred. She devoted her time at home. She was allowed to have gay friends only. While all these were happening, Mildred chose not to tell anyone, not even her mother or her relatives who lived in the same compound.

She wanted the relationship to work so she cherry-picked every rhyme and reason to justify Timothy’s erratic, belligerent mood. Once, she tried to bark back at Timothy. That was the first time he slapped her. He quickly apologized to Mildred as she melted in his embrace. The succeeding days and months after that incident became rosy.

“When I had a miscarriage in 2009, he was always there beside me,” Mildred said. “He told me he would forever baby me even if we didn’t have a child. I believed him.” That was the time Timothy abandoned his drinking habit. But his mean streak continued.

Soon, Timothy’s anger management problem cut deeper. He would hit Mildred at their slight difference in opinions. The slapping led to punches on her comely face. One time, he punched her hard in the stomach that she felt some air was pushed out of her chest. She passed out. But always, always, Timothy was ready with profuse apologies after the beating. Mildred was always forgiving — to a fault. She wanted this relationship to work, even if concerned relatives and neighbors, who would always hear them fight, would advise her to separate from him.

The last straw that broke the camel’s back, so to speak, was when she found out from a well-meaning friend that Timothy was having an affair with his co-worker. Timothy, of course, denied it when she confronted him. But their situation became worse when Timothy did not come home on Christmas Eve last year, not even during the New Year’s Eve. He came home only four days after the New Year’s celebration, which Mildred spent alone at home. He told her that he got his girlfriend pregnant but he and the other girl had no intentions of living together. So, he still stayed with Mildred.

“But this time, I really felt I was living in hell with him,” she said. The situation became asphyxiating each day. Mildred was alien to the concept of battered wife/girlfriend syndrome but she was exhibiting all its signs. She was rendered black and blue many times in their seven years of living together but she always found reasons to justify the battery. Timothy made her feel insignificant yet she always made sure to revolve her world around him every time he licked her wounds. He berated her many times but she never gave up because she hoped that the situation would change. It was just a matter of time.

Indeed, it was just a matter of time. She had a change of heart when one night, Timothy, out of frustration over his own life, took it out on Mildred again and left a deep cut under her chin. As usual, after hitting her, he apologized profusely and he thought she melted again in his sorry embrace.

The following day, she woke up and prepared breakfast. She also prepared Timothy’s clothes and put them in a big bag. Then she placed the bag outside the house.

“I told myself I will not get hurt again. I have to respect my body. I have to respect myself. No one has the right to hurt me.  My love for him is not enough to keep our relationship going. I have to be strong for myself. I have to respect and love the woman in me,” she said, adding that she thought of separating from Timothy several times but she was always short of courage because she was still in love with him. She couldn’t call it quits with him because she had the illusion of one day fulfilling her fantasy of walking down the aisle to meet Timothy at the altar.

But that morning was different. She gave her all in the kitchen. They ate their breakfast together, for the last time.

But it was the first time Mildred felt free. Again.

(For your new beginnings, please e-mail me at bumbaki@yahoo.com. I’m also on Twitter @bum_tenorio. Have a blessed Sunday!)